Chapter 61
SIXTY-ONE
Z
I t was strange to see my face like this—twisted in a snarl, with menace radiating from my blue eyes. That cocked brow and derisive twist to my— her —lips were anything but pleasant. Was this what I looked like when under the influence of the kings’ magic?
“Let me out,” I snarled, curling my hands into fists.
I was more determined than ever to get out of this pit and return to my mates. They needed me. Yes, maybe I could argue that the world needed me as well, but at the moment, I didn’t give a fuck about anything but the men who’d claimed my heart and soul. Maybe that made me a shit person and leader, but it was the truth. I was just one note of a larger composition, and I only felt complete when I was with them.
Evil Z’s gaze raked over me, and her lips twitched.
“Aren’t you pathetic?” Her voice was sickeningly sweet. “Trapped, defenseless, vulnerable. Do you really think you can save yourself?”
My heart hammered in my chest like a caged animal, but I refused to show her my fear. “I know I can.”
“Is that right?” Her eyebrow arched even higher until it practically disappeared into her mane of golden hair. “Then prove it. Free yourself.”
My nerve endings sparked to life. Never before had I wanted to prove someone wrong before. This version of me… She stared at me like I was a pile of shit she had accidentally stepped in. I hated how weak just her penetrating gaze made me feel.
But I’d prove to her that I was capable of anything.
I wasn’t weak or pathetic or dumb or anything else she implied.
“You’re just a stupid human,” she continued, her smirk growing. “How do you expect to lead? You’re nothing, Z. Nothing. Your mates know it, and you do too.”
Each one of her words sliced at my skin. The resulting wound wasn’t fatal, but it wasn’t meant to be. She merely wanted to inflict as much pain as possible.
Gritting my teeth, I regarded the dirt wall before me once more, grateful for the light.
And… there .
Slightly above me was a protruding rock. I reached for it and began to haul myself up, my feet struggling to find purchase. Pain reverberated across my shoulders, but I refused to release the rock, knowing if I did, this would all be over.
My mates needed me.
“You’re weak. Pathetic. Dumb. Nothing. Just give in, Z. You know you want to,” the other me taunted.
The pang in my chest came back, but I ignored it.
My searching eyes found another rock, and I reached for it, hauling myself up even higher.
Come on, Z. You can do this, I told myself, even as fear clawed at the inside of my chest.
I knew the consequence of my failure.
But I refused—fucking refused—to spend eternity alone in that pit. I wouldn’t be trapped. Not by Aaliyah, not by the kings, and certainly not by myself.
So I climbed.
And climbed.
And climbed.
I tuned out every other sound, including the incessant taunts from above. I relied on the trickle of moonlight illuminating the pit and my surroundings in a dim white glow.
I could see the top of the pit. It was so close. So, so close.
I reached for it, my eager hands scrambling for purchase…
When a boot landed on my fingers. Pain exploded through my knuckles instantly, and I released a cry.
“Let go.” The Z above me lowered to a crouch and peered down at me, her blue eyes dark with anger. “Let go.”
“NO!” I screamed, dread traveling south and setting up camp in my stomach.
God, it felt as if she’d broken my fingers.
“Wouldn’t it be easier if you just fell back down?” The Z above finally stepped away, but the pain in my hand didn’t ease.
And for a brief moment, I debated listening to her. It would be so much easier to just let go and fall back into the abyss. The darkness would welcome me like a long-lost friend. I wouldn’t have to deal with politics or war or executions or fucked-up family members. I could just…exist. Maybe the dark would provide peace.
But then seven faces appeared in my mind’s eye.
Killian, Dair, Devlin, Jax, Bash, Lupe, and Ryland.
I couldn’t leave them. Not now. Not after everything we’d been through. We’d fought so damn hard for a happily ever after, and now that it was within our grasp, I refused to let it slip away.
I gritted my teeth and stared up at the eerily familiar face. “Fuck off, bitch.”
Then, with an agonized cry, I pulled myself out of the pit.
Every muscle in my body screamed in protest, and red exploded across my vision. I knew nothing but pain that lanced through my chest and stole all coherent thoughts before they could fully form.
I rolled onto my back and stared up at the starless sky, with only a tiny sliver of moon providing any light.
“You think this is the end?” The other Z laughed, the noise devoid of any true humor.
She stepped closer, consuming my vision, and I noted the silver blade in her hand.
This bitch was going to kill me.
Fuck that.
Fuck her.
The fury inside me lit like a match, and suddenly, I held a familiar object in my right hand. I twisted my head slightly to see the hell dagger glinting ominously in the stream of moonlight.
Z lunged at me with a scream, but I rolled out of the way and jumped to my feet. I rushed at her with an almost blistering speed, not giving myself a chance to think or second-guess myself.
I plunged the dagger into my double’s chest.
Shock splayed across her face briefly, and a muscle in her cheek fluttered. Her gaze flickered from my face to the dagger and then back to my face. A manic giggle fled her lips, along with a drizzle of blood.
“Z…”
A poignant silence stretched between us as we stared at each other—blue eyes locked on blue eyes. A roaring sound rushed between my ears, and then my surroundings began to warp.
Where there was once nothing but darkness, I now saw the towering spires of the capitol building, along with flaming trees and carefully tended gardens—now stained in blood and what looked like ash. The blonde hair before me turned red, and the blue eyes shifted to a verdant shade of green.
Aaliyah.
My hand trembled where it held the handle of the dagger, still burrowed in my sister’s chest.
“Z…” Aaliyah whispered again as I ripped the blade from her flesh.
She began to slide to the ground, and instinctively, I caught her, my emotions crashing together like a maelstrom.
When I stared into my sister’s eyes, I saw no darkness. No anger. No malevolence. There was nothing but vulnerability and a deep well of sadness. Tears hung on her eyelashes as she blinked up at me.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, pain filling her eyes and carving deep grooves in the planes of her face.
Her chest rose and fell in a ragged rhythm.
I didn’t know what to say, what to do. This was my sister who had tried to kill me, my mates, and my friends more times than I cared to count.
Yet, without all of that insidious magic, she looked incredibly young. Vulnerable.
Panic welled up in me, and I desperately placed my hands over the wound on her chest, trying to staunch the bleeding.
“I just wanted you to love me,” she said, her lips barely moving.
The longing in her eyes felt like a sucker punch to my stomach.
“I’m sorry it had to be like this.” Just like when I’d killed S, my heart broke all over again.
Everything inside me seemed to shatter at once. And I knew that, when I came back together, I’d never be the same.
Aaliyah’s chest gave one last rattling heave, and then she went still, her eyes wide and sightless.
Dead.
My sister was finally dead.
I’d killed her.
I didn’t know if I could ever recover from this.