Chapter 63
SIXTY-THREE
Z
“ E xplain,” Dair snarled, his tone severe.
Lilith gave him a passing look, her expression unreadable, before refocusing on me.
“I know Aaliyah shared with you the truth of your first life.” She stepped forward, her black hair swishing behind her like a midnight-colored cloak.
It was strange to see her dressed as Davia—in fighting leathers and armor. The clothing looked slightly too small, as if it hadn’t changed to fit her new body.
“That we were the product of a deal made with the angels,” I recited mechanically. “I stayed with my…with Gabriel in heaven. Aaliyah remained with you in hell. I fell in love with your top warriors, and my father had me killed. Aaliyah went insane, murdered her own mates, and then was locked away.”
Lilith’s hands curled into white-knuckled fists. “I didn’t know what your father planned to do. I never would’ve…” She swallowed and lowered her gaze to the ground. “I might not have been the best mother, but I would’ve stopped it if I had known. I swear to you. By the time I figured out what had happened, it was too late. You and your mates were dead, the humans had transformed into nightmares, and Aaliyah was to stand trial for her crimes.” The muscles along her jaw rippled. “I tried to make Aaliyah see reason, but she was inconsolable. I knew then that she was a danger to not only herself, but to everyone on earth. I had no choice but to lock her away.”
“You had a choice,” I whispered, my gaze unwittingly dropping to Aaliyah’s dead body. A fire lit in my sternum, and tears pricked the backs of my eyes. “You made the wrong one.”
“If I hadn’t locked her away, the world as we know it would’ve ceased to exist. You don’t understand how angry she was. She wanted someone to blame for what happened to you, and since she was no longer able to access heaven, she blamed everyone else instead.”
Lilith’s words made sense, yet I couldn’t help but wonder how different Aaliyah would’ve been if she’d received the one thing she craved above all else—love. That was all she wanted. Then again, she murdered her mates, the seven men fated to love her unconditionally and irrevocably.
Maybe there was no saving someone so corrupted by darkness and sin.
“You have to understand that I’ve never hated you, Z. Never. We chose to have you live with your father in heaven because of the traits you possessed. It took me way too long to realize there was immense strength in softness. I should’ve fought harder to have you stay with me and your sister, but I was afraid the darkness of hell would ruin you, the way it did her.
“I eventually made a deal with the powers that be. The king of hell, so to speak,” Lilith continued, and my heart pounded erratically in my chest.
“The king of hell?” I breathed.
“Yes.” A soft smile danced across Lilith’s face briefly before fading. “Otherwise known as your grandfather.”
I sucked in a sharp gasp, and I wasn’t the only one. All of my mates had gone rigid around me, processing this information.
“My father knew that I mourned you, so he offered me a deal.” A wry, self-deprecating laugh escaped her. “He always wanted me to rule at his side, but I refused. That wasn’t the life I wanted. But then he promised me the one thing I desired more than my freedom—you.”
Her eyes turned tender when they landed on me. “He would reincarnate you and your mates if I agreed to rule beside him. However, the bastard didn’t bother to tell me when he would reincarnate you. I suppose I have myself to blame for not clarifying.”
Lilith swallowed yet again and lowered her gaze to Aaliyah. “He waited until Aaliyah had freed herself from the pit I imprisoned her in. I think he knew that you were the only one capable of stopping her. Believe it or not, my father cares about this world and the nightmares in it. The Seven Deadly Sins may have created them, but my father could have wiped them out in seconds if he desired to. I think a part of him liked having sin run rampant.”
Her lips twitched microscopically before smoothing out. “When you were born, I begged my father to let me look after you, at least for a little bit. Surprisingly, he agreed.
“You were a young orphan when I first saw you, but I recognized your face instantly. You may not have been born from me in this life, but you were my child. You had just lost your parents, but I knew I couldn’t interfere in your life. That was another deal I made with my father.” She scowled briefly before refocusing on me, her eyes softening. “You couldn’t know who or what I was, so I had to get creative.”
Then, to my utter surprise, her features morphed once more. Gray, wispy hair rose on the top of her head, and a beard dusted her jawline. Her limbs became craggy, though her eyes looked sharp and intelligent.
“A?” I asked in disbelief, staring at the father figure who’d adopted me as a child. Who’d trained me. Who’d taught me everything I knew.
This couldn’t be possible.
This couldn’t be fucking possible.
I blinked, and Lilith replaced the man I’d considered a father for years.
“The real A died a week before I found you,” Lilith confessed. “So I took his form. You see, demons can morph into any living being, but only for a short period of time. Angels, on the other hand, can possess creatures. It’s one of the many things that sets us apart from each other.”
“So when A died during a mission when I was a little girl...” I swallowed, remembering the death of my adoptive father.
I’d mourned him for months.
“I could no longer hold the form,” Lilith confessed. “I had no choice but to ‘kill him off,’ so to speak.” She tentatively took a step closer to me. “But I was never far away. I was always, always nearby.”
“You were Davia this entire time,” I breathed, and she nodded once.
“It was the only way I could think to help you. I couldn’t…” She squeezed her eyelids shut and took a shuddering breath. “I couldn’t kill Aaliyah. She was my daughter too. Maybe that makes me selfish—because hundreds of lives were lost in this war—but I couldn’t raise a hand to her.” Unbridled grief splayed across her face. “At the end of the day, it didn’t matter, I suppose. I still lost a daughter.”
I felt…disassociated. I could hear everything she was saying, but I could barely process it. I felt like a rag that had been twisted and wrung out, then flung to the side to dry out. It was a miracle I could stand upright when the entire world seemed to press down on my shoulders.
“And Peter… I mean, Gabriel?” I turned my attention towards the corpse on the ground.
Now that Gabriel no longer possessed him, I noticed the differences in appearance. Peter’s cheekbones were slightly lower than Gabriel’s. His hair was shorter as well, and his shoulders weren’t as broad. It was as if Gabriel’s possession had created minuscule changes in Peter’s appearance until he almost resembled the angel himself.
“Gabriel was furious that our…experiment didn’t work. You and Aaliyah were supposed to bring the two realms together, but Gabriel didn’t care about peace. Not really. He wanted a weapon that could change the tide of the war in favor of heaven.”
A feeling too nebulous to define arrowed through me. It almost felt like…rage.
“He said something about that,” I said, curling my hand into a fist. “He wanted someone who encompassed both light and dark traits.”
“Half angelic and half demonic,” Lilith agreed, her gaze dropping to my stomach. “Like the baby growing inside of you. You may be human in this life, but you still possess angelic attributes.”
“So it’s true?” Jax whispered, inching closer to me. “Z’s pregnant?”
“It is.” Lilith’s smile grew.
“Do you know who the father is?” Lupe asked, one of his hands settling on the small of my back.
Lilith shook her head. “I don’t, but does it matter? Would you love your child any less if you weren’t the biological father?”
“Of course not,” Lupe snapped, and the others agreed instantly.
“I can sense the raw power of this child,” Lilith confessed. “He or she will be capable of incredible things. Gabriel knew that as well, which is why he came here in the first place.”
“Gabriel… Is he gone for good?” I placed a protective hand over my belly once more.
“I can’t say for sure.” Lilith frowned. “I sent him back to heaven, but knowing him, he’ll try to return. Fortunately, angelic entities are no longer able to create portals to earth—they haven’t been able to since the war ended centuries ago. And no demon will dare go against me to help him.”
Lilith took another step closer and, ignoring the growls from my mates, cupped my cheek. Her hand felt abnormally cold against my skin. “No one should be able to bother you any longer. Now that I’m in charge, I plan to close the portals, at least for the time being.”
“Wait, wait, wait. I don’t understand.” My head was spinning—or maybe that was the world.
Lilith flashed me a sad smile. “This will be goodbye, my darling daughter. It’s time for me to return home. I did what I set out to do.” Her gaze traveled to my mates before returning to me. “All I wanted was for you to be safe and happy. And now that the war is over, you are. Your mates… They’re good for you. I made sure of that with my trials.”
“Wait, no. I don’t… I just…” For the first time in my life, I was speechless. All I knew was that I didn’t want her to go.
Or maybe I did. I didn’t fucking know, and she wasn’t giving me time to decide.
“I am so, so proud of you.” Her hand lowered back to her side. “I know you will do great things.” She took a step back, then another, then another, and stopped when she reached Aaliyah. Slowly, she lowered herself beside my sister and brushed back her red hair. “I truly do love you, Z. I love you both.”
Lilith shakily cupped Aaliyah’s face, and a single tear ran down the demoness’s cheek.
“Wait, Lilith. Wait. Just wait.” I held both hands in the air, palms facing forward, as if I could fend off her words. “You don’t have to leave. I mean?—”
“I don’t have a choice, darling.” Lilith’s smile shook. “I made a deal, and it’s time I uphold my end of it. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, couldn’t be more. But you don’t need me. You’ve never needed me.” She reverently stroked Aaliyah’s cheek. “Maybe in the future, I can try again with Aaliyah. Maybe she can be reborn and have a second chance, just like you did. Maybe the two of you could be sisters the way you should’ve been the first time around.”
My heart… It didn’t just crack. It shattered, hundreds and hundreds of pieces cutting me up.
But I didn’t say anything as Lilith held Aaliyah close to her chest. There weren’t any words.
“Goodbye, my daughter,” Lilith whispered.
Then darkness flashed, and when the shadows dispersed, both Lilith and Aaliyah were gone.
I collapsed to my knees between my mates, but I didn’t cry. There were no more tears left inside of me to shed.
The war might have been over, but why did it feel like I’d lost?