Chapter 2
Chapter
Two
It’s been a shit day. I haven’t been to Newcastle for almost two years. I can’t believe the first time I’m back here in so long is for my grandfather’s funeral. The guilt washes over me, knowing I wasn’t here when he needed me the most. He was my rock when I felt like my world was falling apart, he was there whenever I needed him. It didn’t matter what time I called, or what he was doing. If I called, he answered, and he’d be at our front door within the hour picking me up, distracting me from the constant fighting my parents were doing.
I wish that he’d been honest with me. I wish he’d told me how sick he was. We spoke on the phone every week and not once did he mention it. I knew he’d been ill. But he just told me that he was old that it was a cold, or he was tired. My dad squeezes my shoulder pulling me into him as I let the tears fall. “I wish I had the chance to say goodbye. I wish he’d told me. Damn it Dad, I wish you told me.”
He pulls me tighter into him, his hand rubbing my back as he holds me against his chest.
“Shhh. He asked me not to sweetheart. He didn’t want you to worry about him.”
I shake my head and pull away. “He was my grandad. It’s my job to worry about him.” I sob. “He was always there for me, I should have been there for him.”
“Hey.” He pulls back holding me at arm's length, his eyes focused on mine. “He didn’t want you to put your life on hold for him. Now come on, let’s go home. I’ll go wait by the car, give you a minute to say goodbye to him.” He wipes away my tears before placing a gentle kiss on my forehead before heading back to the car, leaving me at the graveside.
By the time we make it back to my Dad’s house, it’s getting late, the air is starting to turn cool and the sun is almost ready to set. I head upstairs into my old bedroom and take a seat on the edge of my bed. It’s different but still the same. Even after my parents separated my Dad couldn’t bring himself to sell the house. I sigh, moving over to the dresser picking up one of the last family photos we took together. We look so happy; little did I know that not less than two months later the fighting would start.
Three years of fighting and cheating before he finally said he couldn’t do it anymore. I love my parents, but watching my Mam tear my Dads heart out for years killed me. Three years he put up with her cheating arse. Three years they fought day and night, until one night he just said he’d had enough and that they were over. She thought that she had him locked down, she thought that he was a pushover, that she could do anything she wanted, and he would always be around. She never thought he’d leave, so when he told her to pack her shit and get out, she was blindsided. She begged him to give her another chance, but he’d had his fill. She was gone by the end of the week. She headed straight back home to Manchester.
We thought she would just slink away, but she didn’t. Six weeks later a letter dropped through our letterbox. She was petitioning for full custody, and she wanted to take me back to Manchester with her. My dad and grandparents tried so hard to fight her on it. I even begged the court to let me stay with my Dad. I didn’t want to be with her, I loved her, but I hated her for what she had done to him. The judge however said that a girl needed her mother. He gave her majority custody. I was to spend the school year with her in Manchester, and holidays with my Dad, with alternating Christmases.
I sigh, throwing the photo back on the dresser. I need a bloody drink. I change out of my black dress and heels that I wore at the funeral and slip into a pair of shorts and a hoody. I wash my face, then tie my long, ice blonde hair into a loose side plait before heading down to find my Dad.
I stop in the doorway of the kitchen; he’s sitting at the table on the patio in the garden. I smile when I see him tip the cup of coffee to his mouth, while a bottle of my favourite wine and one glass sits on the table in front of him. I grab my phone from the counter and then make my way out to join him.
I see the corners of his mouth tip into a smile as he reaches for the bottle when he hears me coming. Pouring me a small glass he sets the bottle back on the table and turns to me as I take a seat.
My heart aches when I see the roses at the side of the garden. My grandad and I planted those on one of the many days he was distracting me from my parent's fighting. I’d seen blue ones in a garden centre one day when I was little and declared they were my favourite flower. After that, he made sure to buy some and have me help him plant them every time I was upset. You can’t grow blue roses, so we’d plant white ones, then he and I would pick some and he’s help me dye them. His and grandma’s garden were full of rose bushes. And when they had no more space for them, he started coming around here and planting them in my garden.
“Hey, kiddo?” My Dad squeezes my arm, grabbing my attention. “I have something for you. Your grandad asked me to give you this today.” He places a letter on the table in front of me and I furrow my eyebrows when I see my name on the front. “I need to head out early, I have to do a drop off at the construction site of some replacement equipment.I’ll only be away a couple of days; will you be ok while I’m gone?”
I nod, taking a sip of my wine. “Yeah, Dad. I’ll be fine. I only have a couple of days off from work though, will you be back before I have to head back to Manchester?”
“Yeah, kiddo. I’m only dropping off and coming straight back. There’s nobody else who has the HGV license otherwise I would have said no. I’m gonna head to bed sweetheart, you need me, you wake me ok?” He tips his head toward the letter. I give him a small smile and a nod, then watch as he heads back inside.
Half the bottle of wine is gone, and I still haven’t opened the letter. Today has been one hell of a day and I’m not ready to read whatever he has to say. Not yet anyway. Grabbing my phone, I shoot off a text to Griff, the local tattooist at Soulless Ink. I want something new. He’s always booked up months in advance, so I smile when I see his response.
Griff – See you tomorrow at noon Flex.
I grab the rest of the wine and the letter and head back inside. I don’t need to be hungover when I’m being inked. I lock up the house and then down half a pint of water before climbing into bed and falling into a light sleep.