Chapter 34
I entered the divination rooms with Owu in tow. Adeuto was with Aunty Tempest.
“What is this place?” Owu asked. “Why are they throwing bones?”
I followed his attention to where two Magus were reading runes. “This is where Magus with a divination affinity practice their craft.”
He frowned at another Magus who was muttering over sticks, then cast a doubtful glance to where a woman was deep in a trance, circling erratically on the spot.
The crimson peered up at me. “Do I need to do that stuff?”
I bit back a smile. “Not that stuff.” Though Adeuto would need to one day. “But just so you know that stuff allows these Magus to understand the past, present, and future. And speak with ghosts.”
His eyes rounded, and the young demon took a second look at the Magus in the room.
A tall male approached. “Welcome, I am Ty. And you are Syera, sister of our beloved leader. I understand you have divination magic.”
Whoa, he had such a deep voice.
“Yes, not much though. I seek greater understanding of the connection between my affinity and demon powers, and I’m overdue a centering.”
His eyes swirled, and his voice, though quiet, was deep enough to carry. “And perhaps overdue a reckoning with the past. Consider speaking with Tempest on the topic. Your ancestors are important. All of them.”
He blinked back to the present. He was speaking of my avoidance of any contact with the ghosts of my mother and grandmother. Dammit.
“I will,” I said after a beat. Then I rested a hand on Owu’s shoulder.
“This is Owu. He has come into his demon powers far earlier than most demons. I would like to teach him how to center to give him more control as he grows.” I squeezed the little demon’s shoulder.
“Owu has had an unusual start in life, and I anticipate some challenges in centering, which could also rob control if not confronted.”
Ty glanced at Owu. “I am happy to teach him what I know. I have never taught a full-blooded demon. Will the same method work?”
“It’s the one I use,” I answered. “I don’t see why not. You should be aware that Owu is very strong. Precautions should be taken while he learns, so I will remain on hand, but you should also be ready.”
“Consider me aware,” Ty answered, then gestured Owu to a small table far from other Magus.
I sat on a purple cushion not far away, and after watching for a time, I closed my eyes to center.
This.
I’d been waiting since arriving to let my mind catch up.
But first… I really was overdue to center. I forced my shoulders and jaw to relax, then started the process of drawing my magics into my core. First my demon power, then my Magus power. I took another magical look at Owu. He was calm.
Then I settled into the pulsing hum of holding all my magic at my core, under my ribs.
Healing. An overwhelming feeling, too, and one that put the normal occurrence of magic flowing through my entire body into perspective.
Any imbalances in my power from emotional upset or physical fatigue were fixed in the doing of centering, and all Magus had to center or risk chaos—a state where a Magus’s power turned inward and set them on the path of dark magic.
The stronger a Magus, the more that Magus had to combat chaos. A weak Magus like me had little to fear from chaos. The magic of a demon was dark anyway. The difference was, we were made to handle it. The light stuff, not so much.
I allowed my magic to seep away from my core until both magics spread from crown to toes again. Then I radiated in the balance of my being.
Finally, my mind could wander to the topic unsettling me more than anything.
Wrath curse.
Hindsight was a killer. If I’d known that a visit to the coven was imminent, then I might have waited to do the divination journey. A more powerful Magus wouldn’t have torn the past off the tiara, and there wouldn’t be large gaps in what I’d witnessed.
Then again, I would have had to carry the tiara into Carmine’s presence, and then I would have learned about the wrath curse in company.
As it was, I needed this space to decide how I viewed what I’d seen. What Neti’s experience had been. Because that past was colored by her. I’d seen her recollections, with her emotions painted over the top.
All I’d settled on was that when my father ascended the throne, the Istg had drawn a picture of Adeuto in the sand.
He’d worn a crown and been in a box. A box could be a good thing, or a box could be a bad thing.
I couldn’t forget that the Istg had their own agenda.
Sure, their agenda seemed to align with freedom, and almost as a direct opposite to Ronj’s agenda.
But the Istg had carried this agenda for thousands of years.
They didn’t care about me or Adeuto. No one would get in their way.
Which wasn’t a problem if our goals aligned. But as a mother, I had to proceed as if our goals may not align. If their drawing had signified controlling Adeuto forevermore in some way, then I couldn’t accept the divination journey at face value.
The other part of the journey that felt easy to interpret was the Istg’s transformation into white-scaled creatures.
I’d heard their change, and the constant numbers of white-scaled animals over the years made sense.
Forty Istg members had existed, and so the same number of them existed in animal form.
Two butyker. One of which had gobbled a blue-scaled demon who’d nearly found the desert hideout. The butyker were protectors.
Twenty-three nismus. If Neti was an indicator of the others, then nismus were the conduits for the healing to occur. The Istg’s magic worked through the nismus, who had to have contact with a demon through the blue gem.
Which left the fifteen qer, the rodent-like animals that tunneled deep underground. Their role wasn’t as clear.
What I believed was that Istg had waited for Adeuto for thousands of years.
I believed that he was crucial to the success of their agenda.
Was that because he was part Magus? Was it specifically his divination Magus magic that would give him some edge against Tyran?
Or was the difference that I’d raised him away from Carmine?
Whatever it was, I could assume that Adeuto would have some resilience or extra strength against the wrath curse.
But with that thought process, I landed on something I didn’t believe in. The wrath curse. When I tried to contemplate the supposed curse, I came up against an inner barrier. In this state, I could admit what that barrier was.
An unwillingness to absolve Carmine of anything.
I could feel sorry for Utyrth, who never wanted the crown or anything to do with Ronj. But he’d been backed into a corner by the ruler at the time. I could guess that if he’d turned down the crown, Tyran would have seen fit to remove Utyrth’s head.
But every ruler since?
I was meant to believe that the most powerful demons in existence couldn’t have said no to this power? I was meant to believe that Carmine was a victim when he’d killed my family, imprisoned my twin, and was a ruthless, empty piece of shit who’d been the bane of my life for the last five years?
That was the barrier. If I conceded that the wrath curse might be real, then my ultimate goal to protect Adeuto came under threat. Any change in my views against Carmine, could result in Adeuto’s death.
Which couldn’t happen.
So I wouldn’t let it.
The wrath curse may exist, and that didn’t change a thing because it couldn’t. Because I would never allow anything to further shake my son’s future.
In the depths of my trance, I felt my forehead relax its frown, and my shoulders ease. My breaths evened, and peace filled my heart. Whatever Ronj power Carmine had welcomed in, or been victim of, I regretted in my soul. If those things hadn’t happened, then our mating might have been a happy one.
But Adeuto was the real source of my happiness. If I had to sacrifice my mate or my son, then there was no question of which.
Did I feel… unease? Yes. An unexpected amount of it.
I recalled Neti’s sorrowful words to Utyrth before her escape.
“I do not know what form his magic will take, Utyrth, but I do know that you should spend this day with your mate, and your children, and in doing the things you love. You will be his vessel, and you will obey his command, and you will scream within while doing it. Spend this day, this last day, as you. For after tonight, you will become a king. And a shell too.”
If the wrath curse still held as strong today as thousands of years ago, then Carmine had been thrown into a dungeon as a child by my father, only to enter the dungeon of Tyran’s making after freeing himself.
Not only that, but I’d been set upon by white magic too. I’d acted in ways during that time that weren’t me.
But I hadn’t known what was happening at the time, and that didn’t add up with Neti’s words to Utyrth.
Was Carmine acting out of his own volition? Or was he trapped in his own body?
Was he wielding the power and evil in his own right, or was he being wielded?
And what could I do about either, except what I’d already decided to do?
Because if Carmine was held captive under the wrath curse, then perhaps—in whatever part of him that was left—he would want Adeuto to be safe too.
Yes, I felt uneasy.
I could reason that away too. I could reason mostly anything away for my son.
I opened my eyes and looked at Owu, who watched me from the small table. The other Magus were gone.
“How long was I out?” I asked.
“Hours,” he replied.
“You should have gone to dinner without me.”
He shook his head.
Owu didn’t feel safe yet. Couldn’t blame the guy. He’d been through some stuff lately. “Let’s go now.”
I winced as I stood. The training today was catching up. That, and then sitting in the same place for hours. “How did you go with centering?”
“Couldn’t feel anything. What were you doing?”
“Centering.”
“Your smoke was dancing.”
“I didn’t know.” I looked at him. “What was the issue with centering?”