Chapter 7
I’VE FOUND MY COMPASS. IT WAS ALWAYS HER.
ARAZ
Golden grains of sand stretch as far as I can see. The light is all around me now, but which direction do I take to reach its source? I fall to my knees, a yawning darkness in my belly. How much farther must I travel to find the key to freedom?
Trapped in my own body, a prisoner of my own mind. No. This will not do, and yet I tire. I weaken, my power draining somehow.
The golden veins on my hands, so vibrant a short while ago, are now dull and lifeless.
I’m running out of time.
If the embers in my blood fade, then I will be lost, and yet they seem to have forgotten how to pulse.
I need that pulse to guide me.
I reach for the thread that connects me to Leela, my stomach trembling in relief when I find it intact.
At least that connection remains. It isn’t strong, but it exists.
The creature that has control of my vessel is either unaware of it or unbothered by it.
If he is unbothered, it means he doesn’t view Leela as a threat. It means he’s a fool.
I know my Leela, and she will not stop trying to free me. The look in her eyes in that moment when I surfaced and stopped him from hurting her…there was so much in that look, relief and determination.
A wave of exhaustion washes over me, and I sit back on my haunches, tipping my face up to the barren sky and closing my eyes.
My beautiful Leela. My strong, wonderful—
“Are you going to sit there all day thinking about me, or are you going to get up and do something about actually finding me?”
I snap open my eyes and stare at my heart’s desire manifest. “Leela? No. This isn’t real.”
She stands, hands on hips, brow arched. “No shit, big guy. But it’s real enough. Get up. We got a core to find.”
“I did this…I…made you?”
“No, Araz, I made myself. Get up and walk with me, and I’ll explain it.”
Seeing her here, all wild waves and wide gray eyes, her skin like burnished copper… “Leela…”
She sighs. “No. Don’t get caught up in the illusion. There is no time for that.”
Illusion. “You’re not real.”
“I believe we established that. Now up. Let’s walk.”
There’s a part of me, the ancient godly part that recognizes this for what it is. Recognizes her for what she is, but I’m tethered too strongly to the soul I am now, to Araz, that the full significance escapes me. But whatever this is, it carries her face. It exudes her essence.
She crouches and holds out her hand. “Come, my love. Let me walk with you awhile.”
Something inside me shifts and melts, warmth traveling through my limbs, lending them renewed purpose.
I stand and take her hand. Solid. Real.
She raises our joined hands and smiles. “Well, look at that.”
The veins under my skin glow brighter, and as she moves our hands to the left, they begin to pulse.
“How are you doing this?”
“I’m not doing anything, my heart. We are.”
“What are you?”
“I’m your flame, Araz. I’m the soul of your connection to Leela. When you sleep, so do I, and when you both awaken, then so do I. I am separate, and I am a part of you. I am the tether that refuses to break, but…”
“But what?”
“I cannot hold on to that which no longer exists.” She gives me a pointed look, and I remember the significance of her appearance.
“I’m dying, aren’t I?”
She presses a palm to my cheek, her eyes filled with regret. “Yes, my love. You are dying in the only way that a god can. You’re being devoured by a force equally if not more ancient than you. But we can stop it. We can claim back your power. All of it. If we can find the core.”
I know she isn’t Leela. I know that she is our tether manifest, yet for a moment I allow myself to believe differently. I cup her face and press my lips to hers. “I’m coming, Leela. I won’t let you down.”
She smiles up at me, that cocky lopsided smile, the one she wears when she accomplishes a particularly difficult task. “That’s my guy. Now let’s go.”
The golden veins under my skin pulse, and we follow their rhythm.