Chapter 23
ONE BLANKET UNDER THE STARS
LEELA
The journey to Shantivan would take five to six days if the weather held. That evening we ate in the captain’s quarters with Rathor. The title of the room made it sound grand, but in truth it was nothing but a small cabin with a rickety table, surrounded by six mismatched chairs.
The wooden floor was scuffed, a tattered rug probably covering up the worst of the wear, and the candles flickering in the lanterns were almost down to the wick. But it was warm and cozy, and the soup was thick and flavorsome, even if the bread was a little stale.
My stomach was thankful for the meal.
Rathor sat back in his seat, ruby eyes glittering as they caught flamelight. “Who would have thought that I’d have a royal on my ship.” He shook his head slowly. “If I’d have known back then…”
“What?” C’ael demanded, his body tensing beside me.
Rathor arched a dark brow. “I’d have demanded a higher price for delivery, of course.”
C’ael relaxed. “Hmmm…”
“You know that you’re safe aboard my ship, right?” he asked me.
“I’d like to think so. My survival is in all our best interests, after all.”
“Exactly…” He slid a look C’ael’s way. “Maybe explain to your lover that you’re safe here?”
My cheeks heated. “He’s not my lover. He’s my…” What was he? Companion? No, that was too loose a term, and friend was too close a relationship for what we’d cultivated so far.
“Your what?” Rathor pressed.
“Hers,” C’ael said simply. “I am hers.”
“Like a possession?” Rathor’s brows went up, his mouth turning down.
“No!” I looked across at C’ael, at his bowed head and the dark shadows cast by his lashes on his cheeks.
He’d been created and bonded, and now he was lost. Trying desperately to find his place.
My throat thickened. “He doesn’t belong to anyone.
” C’ael looked across at me sharply, and I continued.
“But I’m grateful he chose to stay with me.
I’m looking forward to getting to know him. To us becoming friends.”
C’ael’s throat bobbed, and then he smiled, slow and warm, and something equally warm unfurled in my belly because there was something so familiar about that smile.
“Well,” Rathor said. “Time to get you both set up in your quarters. We’re up with the sun, so you should get some sleep while you can.” He pushed back his chair and stood, stretching his lithe form. “Follow me.”
There were no quarters for C’ael and me to sleep in. Rathor led us to the deck and left us to get comfortable with bedrolls and a single blanket.
Yeah, we’d be up with the sun all right.
But I’d gotten used to sleeping out in the open. Here, in the vast expanse of the ocean, the deck gently rocking us to sleep and the stars winking secret messages, was as good a place as any.
The ship had an aura that kept the worst of the chill at bay, but even then, it was cold.
We laid the bedrolls side by side so we could share the blanket. It was heavy and made from a soft, downy material, but it didn’t block out the chill completely.
C’ael made sure to pull it up over me, which left him half uncovered, and like hell could I sleep knowing that he was uncomfortable.
“Just scoot closer.” I yanked at his bedroll, shifting my body toward him.
He hesitated. “Are you sure?”
“You slept right up against me in the forest. It’s fine.”
“We slept in a huddle. This feels…” His gaze dropped to my mouth then darted back to my eyes.
I ignored the sudden thud of my pulse. “It’s fine. We need to stay warm, and…it’ll help our friendship.”
A little of the wariness in his eyes dimmed.
I poked him playfully in the chest. “Where’s the cocky asshole that kissed me during the labyrinth, eh?
” His eyes darkened, gaze becoming intense.
Maybe that hadn’t been the best example to use.
“Look, I snuggled with Pashim several times. Platonically. It’s fine.
” I deliberately left out the part about how he’d kissed me and how I’d kissed him back.
That part was best archived. It was a moment that had a special place in my heart but could never happen again.
C’ael exhaled, then moved closer, lifting his arm, inviting me to use it as a pillow. I settled against him. Gods, he was warm. Deliciously toasty, leading me to wonder if he even needed the blanket. But rescinding the offer to snuggle seemed petty.
“He’s still there, you know,” C’ael said softly.
“Who?”
“The version of me who kissed you in the labyrinth. The cocky, sure of himself version. Still here. I’m just…I’m not sure of much of anything since…” He sighed.
Since he realized he’d been played by the primordial evil?
“I was tricked too, C’ael. He played us both, but we can’t let him steal our confidence. We can’t let him take our spark or temper our belief in ourselves. Because if we do that, then he’s won.”
His chest rose and fell in a deep sigh, and his breath coasted over my crown. “Tomorrow is a new day,” he said softly.
“Yeah. It is.”
I fell asleep watching the stars. Warm, safe, and feeling as if I was home.
The next three days were spent helping on the ship, working with the crew to swab the deck and to manage the sails. We pitched in with cooking meals and navigation with a little instruction from Rathor, and in the evenings, he regaled us with tales of his visits to the mortal world.
But inevitably C’ael and I would find ourselves alone, bedrolls side by side, one large blanket between us and the chill bringing us closer until I was pressed against him, his arm a pillow, my body tucked into his side.
“What was it like in the prison realm?”
He was silent for so long that I thought he’d fallen asleep, but then he spoke, his voice a low, pleasant rumble against my ear.
“I don’t recall. I’ve cast my mind back many times since the primordial evil revealed himself to have control of Iblees…
of your Araz. And I…I don’t recall it. Not at all.
My first memory is of you. Of finding you in that labyrinth.
Iblees sent me, but now I know it wasn’t Iblees…
it was the primordial evil. It had its hooks in Iblees, riding the connection to get into Araz’s body.
But I don’t. But then there is only you… ”
Anger rose, a lick of heat behind my sternum. “He did this. The primordial evil stole your memories. We will get them back.” His arm around me flexed, pulling me closer, and I bit back a sigh as his heat washed over me again. “How are you so warm?”
“It must be my nature. Iblees is a fire djinn. A god. He made me, so it stands to reason I might share some traits. I’m glad you like it.”
His lips landed on my temple, and my eyelids fluttered closed. I liked this. This contact. This closeness.
I’d come to look forward to bedtime with C’ael, but we didn’t talk about our nights and the cozy snuggles.
I didn’t mentally dissect why it felt so natural to be close to him. Or why his presence was such a comfort. He was connected to me and Araz, created by Iblees. That was the only reason.
Four nights in, and I was coming to accept this to be the norm. Maybe I loved it so much because it reminded me of my time with Araz, of how we’d lain together for so many nights until he was gone.
I wasn’t replacing Araz with Pashim or C’ael. I was simply…surviving.
“He’d want me to take care of you,” C’ael said softly, his breath teasing the hair at my crown. “I feel it.”
My stomach tightened, but I didn’t ask him how he knew what I was thinking. “What else do you feel?” Why had I asked that?
I felt the shudder of his breath against my temple. “Oh, Leela, I don’t think you truly want to know the answer to that.”
My mouth went dry. I closed my eyes and exhaled. “Yeah. Don’t tell me.”
His grip on me tightened. “I promise. I won’t.”