Chapter Seven
Kim swam in the pool, letting the water cocoon her in its warmth. It felt wonderful, especially after thinking she’d never be warm again. She'd woken as the luciferins were just starting to brighten, signaling the start of another day. Wray had been sleeping so soundly that she hadn't wanted to wake him. She knew he was tired even though he would deny it. He had survived a lot too, what with the crash of the shuttle and having to care for her. That he hadn't been injured had been a miracle.
Carefully, she slipped out of his arms and went to relieve herself but instead of returning, the water had called to her. It had always been like that for her and the water. She loved it, loved how free she felt in it, loved how it embraced her. Every summer growing up, she had practically lived at the pool until finally her parents had one installed in their back yard just so she'd stay home.
Warrio r had loved it too. He would lie at the side, watching her swim until he got too hot, then he would jump in and cool off. It had driven her dad nuts when he would find Warrior in the pool because as soon as Warrior saw him he would get out and shake himself dry next to him. It had become a game between the two of them. Dad would get home from work and try to make it in the house before Warrior soaked him. He never made it. Kim smiled at the memory.
There had been so many good times and happy memories. How could she have forgotten them? She had been so devastated after Warrior died that she blocked out all that had been good and just when things had started to get better, her parents had been killed...
Sighing heavily , Kim rolled over onto her back and closed her eyes, knowing the water's buoyancy would keep her up. She wished she could go back and relive those days. She would have done so many things differently.
"Kim."
Hearing her name Kim rolled over and found Wray standing at the edge of the pool, his hands on his hips. He didn't look happy.
"Hi." She said smiling at him.
"What are you doing?" Wray asked through clenched teeth. When he had woken and found her gone, he'd panicked, thinking that somehow she'd been taken from him. Reason had quickly taken over, but it hadn't calmed the frantic beating of his heart. He needed to find her; needed to reassure himself, she was safe. Finding her innocently floating in the pool, her hair fanning out around her, her breasts jutting up had his body instantly responding.
"I'm swimming." She said, treading water.
"I can see that. " He could see everything thanks to the crystal clear water. "Why?" he asked, forcing his eyes back to her face.
"Um... because I wanted to?" Kim said, raising a questioning eyebrow at him.
"Why didn't you wake me?"
"You were sleeping,” she said as if that explained it all.
" That does not matter." He said through gritted teeth. "You should have woken me. Something could have happened to you!”
"Swimming?" Kim's tone let him know she thought his comment was ridiculous. "Not in this lifetime." She said then disappeared under the surface swimming along the bottom until her lungs forced her to come up for air.
Expecting Wray to be still at the edge of the pool, she was shocked when she was ripped from the water and pulled against a heaving chest.
“Wray!” She exclaimed. She couldn’t believe he’d waded into the pool fully clothed, but one look at his pale face, let her know he was really upset. “Wray…” she repeated softly, her eyes searching his. “What’s wrong?”
“You could have drowned!” He growled at her , storming out of the pool.
“I’m a very good swimmer , Wray.” She said, trying to reassure him.
“That does not matter. ” He irrationally denied not stopping until he reached the rock where she had left her shirt. “You could have become trapped.”
Kim frowned at him as he set her on her feet, but didn’t release her. There was no way she could have become ‘trapped’ in the pool, there was nothing to ‘trap’ her. So what was Wray talking about? Who was he talking about?
“Wray … I’m okay." She said, put a reassuring hand on his chest. "I’m fine.”
“You will not get in that water again without me!” He ordered in a hard, cold voice she’d never heard from him before. “Do you understand me?” When she just looked at him, he gave her a hard shake. “I will not lose anyone else, Kim!”
“Who did you lose , Wray?” Kim asked quietly and suddenly realized that’s why he was acting this way. Someone Wray cared about had died… in water.
“Van…” Wray said slowly lowering her to her feet, “my offspring.”
“Offspring …” Kim trailed off. Wray had offspring… How was that possible? He’d have to have a female to have offspring... that meant… Wray had a female.
P aling, Kim ripped her arms out of his hold and backed away from him. Oh God, she’d kissed a married man. She’d let a married man touch her. Suddenly she realized she was dripping wet and naked. Naked in front of a married man. Grabbing her shirt, she whipped around and pulled it on.
“Kim…” Wray had seen her pale before she turned from him. He knew he'd been rough with her, but seeing her underwater had brought back painful memories.
Kim kept her back to him as her fingers fumbled with the buttons on her shirt. Pulling her dripping hair from under the shirt, she wrung the water out of it, not noticing the way the luciferins dimmed slightly in response to her distress.
"Your offspring drowned." She forced the words past stiff lips.
" Four years ago." Wray acknowledged remembering that terrible day. "The transport carrying him was swept off a bridge during a storm. He drowned before they were able to get him out." He didn't tell her that Tora had been in the same transport. Didn't tell her that the guards assigned to them had chosen to rescue Tora first since he was Wray's successor, leaving his younger brother to fend for himself until they could return. They did not return in time.
"I'm so sorry, Wray." Kim found herself turning to him and the sadness in his eyes caused her heart to ache. He had truly loved his son. "How old was he?"
" Ten."
"His mother must have been heartbroken." Kim knew what Wray had told her about Tornian females, but she still found it hard to believe they had no feelings for their offspring.
"Adana died not long after she presented Van ." Wray told her, thinking about his Empress. Would she have been heartbroken at Van’s death as Kim seemed to think, or would it have not mattered to her since her duty was done? Looking at Kim, he could see she was truly upset he had lost offspring. Van mattered to her even though she had never known him. If Van had been hers, she would have been heartbroken.
"I.. . “Kim didn't know what to say, didn't know how she felt. On one hand, she was sorry that Adana had died. Wray had to have cared about her. On the other, she was relieved that she wasn't still in his life. Tears of shame filled Kim's eyes at her selfish thoughts. Wray had lost a female, had lost a child and all she could think about was how it affected her. S he hadn't changed at all.
Wray wished he could take back his words and actions. He hadn't meant to speak to her so harshly, hadn’t meant to tell her about Van. He didn't talk about him. Not to Grim. Not even to Tora.
H e had been proud when Adana had chosen him as her male, but he'd also known that it had more to do with him being Emperor than him being a worthy male. Kim saw him as a worthy male, but his actions weren't those of one. Would she forgive him?
"I am sorry , Kim." He said, moving cautiously towards her. "I should not have acted like that. I should not have spoken like that to you."
"You were afraid I would drown."
"Yes, but that is still no excuse for what I did."
"What did you do , Wray?"
"I touched you in anger . I shook you." Wray felt his shame grow. "I upset you."
“That’s not why I ’m upset, Wray.”
“ It’s not?”
“ No, I’m upset because you lost your offspring because you lost your female… and because I’m relieved.”
“What do you mean?” Wray looked at her shocked.
“I’m sorry you lost your son , Wray. I can’t imagine how terrible that must have been for you. It’s something I never want to experience, but I’m also crying because I’m relieved that I don’t have to compete with one of your females… and that shames me. If I truly loved you, I would want you to be happy even if it wasn't with me.”
W ray didn’t know what to say. Never had a female expressed herself to him thusly. That she would want him to be happy… no matter who he was with. It was not only shocking, but also unheard of. A female always expected to be the center of a male’s life, even though she would not remain in it. She expected him to be gentle with her at all times. He could never raise his voice to her, especially in anger or she would become upset and seclude herself but those things had not upset Kim. What upset her was that he might find her lacking when compared to Adana.
“Kim…” Wray wrapped his arms around her pulling her close again. “You mean so much more to me than Adana ever did. Don’t you know that?” Bending his knees so he could look her in the eye, he continued. “Have I failed you by not making you understand how important you are to me? How much you mean to me? If I have then the shame is mine, not yours.”
“I know what you’ve told me , Wray it’s just…”
“Just what , little one?”
“Your world is so different than mine that I sometimes find it hard to believe, like a mother abandoning her child. It’s not that it doesn’t happen on Earth and it’s not like there aren’t females who are with a male because of what he can give her, but it’s not the norm and it’s not how I grew up. Even when I was terrible to my parents, they never deserted me, never stopped loving me. I always knew they would be there for me that they would keep me safe… and then they were gone.”
“What happened to them , Kim?” Wray asked and felt her tense in his arms.
“ They died,” she whispered, “in a car accident… transport accident.” She corrected. “They’d gone away for the weekend and on the way back another transport hit them and they died instantly.”
“ I’m sorry, Kim.”
“Me too… things had just started to get better again, I was finally getting over losing Warrior and then they were gone.”
“Warrior?” Wray questioned tensing at the affection he heard in her voice for another male. “You said you had no male.”
“I don’t. I didn’t.” Kim frowned at him. “Warrior was my dog , Wray.”
“Dog?” he questioned.
“ Yes. A pet.” When he still looked at her confused, she tried again. “An animal that lived with me?”
“ A haiwan?” Wray asked and Kim searched her mind and found that was the Tornian word for pet.
“Yes , a haiwan. I got him for my tenth birthday and named him Warrior because he had survived so much.”
“I do not understand.” Wray thought of the haiwans he had known. Most were very small and timid and only survived when carefully cared for. They weren’t like Warriors.
“The people that had Warrior before me, used him as a fighting dog.”
“Fight dog…”
“Yes. They would make him fight other dogs, so they could bet on which one would win. Warrior always won. So they also used him as a sire, hoping his offspring would do the same.”
“We have such animals too, but they would never be used as a haiwan, they are too large and deadly.”
“ That was Warrior. He was massive, strong and deadly and that’s all anyone ever saw when they looked at him, what was on the outside. I saw what was on the inside; saw how gentle he could be, how caring. All he wanted was for someone to love and accept him for who he was and I did.”
“Your manno allowed such a creature near you?” Wray couldn’t hide his shock.
“He really didn’t have a choice. I knew Warrio r was mined the minute I saw him and I wasn’t giving him up.” She gave him a slight smile. “I can be stubborn sometimes.”
“ Really?” Wray found himself smiling down at her. “I hadn’t noticed that.”
“Yeah , right, so anyway Warrior came home with us and life was great…” the smile left her lips as she continued, “until he died.”
“I am sorry , Kim.”
“So am I. He died in my arms… after he saved my life.” Devastated eyes looked at him as she remembered the day. “I was crossing the street, almost home when a… transport going too fast came down the street. I froze. I just stood there in the middle of the street watching it bear down on me and then Warrior was there.” She could see it all happening again in her mind. “He knocked me out of the way and it hit him instead of me. The force of the hit knocked him halfway down the block. I can still hear it. The sound he made when he hit... I crawled to him on my hands and knees, screaming the entire way. When I got to him… he just looked up at me, his eyes full of so much love, even though his body was broken and he licked my face. He licked away my tears as if he couldn’t bear to see them… then he died.”
Wray gently wiped away the tears that had flowed down Kim’s cheeks as she told him about her pet and found he didn’t like them any more than Warrior had. They didn’t belong on her. She should never be sad, should never experience loss and he would make it his mission to be sure it never happened again.
“He was truly worthy of the title ‘Warrior.'” He told her.
“Yes. He was.” She whispered and sunk into the comfort of Wray’s embrace.