Chapter 26
He looks at me with so much determination, making me weak in my knees. He would have been the father of my child, but if I let my mind linger too much in that dark place, I might fall apart.
I force my tears back, gathering strength from our eyes locked on each other.
You’d think that we don’t share the history we do, which is full of hurt, secrets, and impossibilities—a forbidden love.
“You know I’m right there.” He points at my heart, grinning.
“Sure.” I tell the truth, even if my sarcastic tone implies the opposite.
He cocks his head. “I’m not the one sneaking around to catch me with my supposedly baby mama.”
I cover my face with my hands. Whatever I say, it would just give him more ammunition.
His parents come outside, and his father is carrying Jasmine, who has her head on his chest. His mother looks at us with a bright smile and says, “Lunch is ready.”
Digging into the pasta carbonara, I almost choke on it when his father asks, “When is the suspension lifted again?”
“Tomorrow,” Dane says.
I whip my head to him. “What happened?”
“I didn’t listen to my technical director.”
Not good. We’re not good for each other. Just leave already. Stay away like you said you would a million times before.
I dab at the corners of my mouth with the napkin. “Thank you. It was delicious.” Then I crouch to Jasmine and hug her.
“Are you coming tomorrow too? We’re leaving soon.”
She pouts, and her mother must see my face turn ashen.
“Jasmine, baby, maybe Abigail’s busy.”
“Well, are you?”
Elena looks at me apologetically, and I say, “I’ll come by tomorrow.”
Jasmine jumps up and down, her two cute pigtails bouncing from the movement, and I wave at his father. When his mother hugs me, she says, “I have never seen him this relaxed. You’re the first girl he’s introduced us to.”
“It’s complicated.” She would shout at me to stay away from her son and family if she knew.
Dane accompanies me to my car and leans on the doorframe. “Where did you go?”
“Hmm?”
“What are you thinking? I want to know.”
“Why?”
“You’re my checkered flag.”
I push at his chest. A mix of anger and hurt twists my insides.
“Did you fall on your head? Why the sudden change?”
He looks at me as if he’s in on a secret I’m not privy to.
“See you tomorrow.”
I can’t say no to him. Denying him would be like denying my breath. It would be impossible to wrench him out of my heart.
“Don’t you have other things to do?”
His hand snakes around my waist, pulling me to him.
“I want to do you, have you, keep you. What about that?”
“Is this a game to you?” Tears well up in my eyes. “It’s my life, and you’ve proved you don’t deserve to be in it.”
“Deserve, huh? What about you? Do you think you deserve me? Yet, here I fucking am.”
He lowers his face and plants a kiss on my shoulder. “I’m going to find out everything.”
A shudder rocks my body. “I would never allow that.”
When I drive away, I’m more confused than ever, but I’m sure of one thing: my heart is his. I love him, and nothing could change that.
Back at the house, I’m relieved that none of my friends are there to see me torn apart. I should focus more on not drawing attention to myself and playing my role. Yet, once again, I’m sneaking around to steal moments with Dane, apparently forgetting that the first time ended with me bound to a torture chair.
Sitting at my desk, I draw Jasmine in Dane’s arms. I can’t stop staring at the image when my door opens after a knock, and Blake steps inside.
“So, is she his?” he asks.
“Are the rumors already running?”
“No, but I saw the three of you. I’m sure that couldn’t have been easy for you.”
“Strangely, I was glad for him…”
“You looked like you would have stepped right in to be a great step-mommy. So?”
“It’s his sister, and the idiot thought I was jealous.”
He arches a knowing brow. “Yes, because we both know you’re not.”
I huff as I can’t contradict him. “You should remind me of all the reasons I shouldn’t.”
“Maybe you’ve reached the point where someone should take the decision from you.”
“That coming from your mouth…”
“I’m fighting daily with windmills.”
“One day, we’ll stop fighting.”
“I’m pretty sure mine will never end.”
Blake sighs, leaving me wondering what I could do to help him.
***
The next day, I spot Dane and Jasmine swimming in the lake. Giggles and laughter mix into a lovely sound. He’d be a great father.
For a few moments, I imagine we’re a family, and he’s playing with our child. The image breaks and heals me at the same time.
Approaching the dock, he sees me, and he sweeps his gaze over my body, making me feel sexy and desirable. I’m wearing jeans and a tucked-in white and blue striped shirt. I love that I affect him, but the roles change the second he gets out of the water. His washboard abdomen causes saliva to gather in my mouth.
“Close your mouth, princess. Wouldn’t want a fly to get in.”
“It would be the only thing to get in.”
“Now I’m hard. Happy?”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“I pictured you on your knees sucking me.”
And now I am wet. Like I said, we’re a disaster together.
Picking up a towel, he dries Jasmine first, then himself.
His parents come out carrying a tray with refreshments, and I wave, greeting them.
Jasmine rushes from the dock to me, wrapping her little arms around my thighs. What this little girl does to me, loving so quickly, astounds me. I want to hug her and keep her safe so no one could ever hurt her.
“Jasmine.” Elena insists, but I mouth that it’s okay.
“We’re going somewhere really cool,” the little one says. “But it’s a surprise. I can’t tell you.”
“This is not what we bargained for,” I tell Dane, and the cocky bastard crosses his arms over his chest, knowing too well I won’t say no to her.
“I’ll go change. I have to look pretty,” Jasmine says.
“You are the prettiest.”
She giggles and rushes up the stairs, yelling that she doesn’t need her mother to help her. Dane and I burst into laughter. This carefree moment caresses my bruised insides.
“I have to change too. Wanna come to my room? I’ll be quick,” he asks, the question ending in innuendo.
“Is your dick hurting?”
“It is. Wanna kiss it better?”
I push him away playfully. My cheeks heat when I find his parents smiling at me, nodding their approval—they accept me so easily that it warms my heart.
When Dane returns, I gulp, wondering if I’ll ever remain unfazed at how mouthwateringly good he looks. Clad in that leather jacket, a V-neck shirt, and a pair of jeans fitting his toned body—sending my hormones into a tizzy.
As I look for a seat on the chaise lounge on the back terrace, he takes the one I had in mind—the furthest away. He drops on it and drags me onto his lap.
“What are you doing?” I ask but lean into him like the hopeless-in-love idiot I am. His hands lock around my stomach, holding me in the cocoon of his embrace.
“See, I don’t bite.”
“Tell that to your dick. It’s trying to rip a hole through both our jeans.”
When a chuckle rocks his chest, I tilt my head to see his rich brown eyes sparkling with ease and happiness. His entire face radiates bliss.
“Let’s end this push and pull,” he says, placing a sweet kiss on my neck.
I want that more than anything in the world. I sweep my gaze over this dream-like scenery, from the lake to the forest, mowed grass and wild roses, and the mansion tucked away from prying eyes.
“I’m tipping. I’m not saying this to scare you because we both fucking know I’m never going to be normal, and it’s not your job to tread carefully when I have episodes…”
I look back at him and cup his face. “Since when?”
But he doesn’t have to answer since he came back because of me.
“Abigail, no. Stop this shit.”
“We both know I’m the cause and you’re the idiot who still wants this. You never could end us. This is why I did what I had to do then. This is why I will always make the best decision.”
“And that would be what? Stop lying to yourself. This is all I fucking want and ask of you. Stop this shit and let yourself feel.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why the fuck not Abigail?”
“I’m sorry.”