Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Roman
Admit it, you think I’m cute.
You’re seventeen years old, Lola. I’m way too old for you.
So… I should date guys my own age?
Fuck, no. No dating. You’re officially banned from dating.
- Conversation between Lola, age 17 and Roman, age 24
“Any chance we can forget the last five minutes ever happened?”
I ignore Lola’s request, my mind still caught on the words that just came out of her lying little mouth.
“You said you didn’t remember that night,” I say, working hard to keep my voice steady. “You said whatever drug that shithead slipped into your drink messed with your memories and you didn’t remember anything.”
Lips pursed, eyes wide, she nods. “Right, yeah. It’s all just a blur.”
“Lola,” I growl, my hand clenching into a fist because even just thinking about that night, about what Carson did to her, has me wanting to tear off heads.
Lola huffs and throws out her hands. “Well, what was I supposed to say? ‘Thank you very much for saving my life. I’m sorry I got drunk and ran off with a dangerous biker, but my heart was breaking because the guy I’ve been in love with since I was eleven just rejected me so either he doesn’t feel the same way or maybe I’m just that bad at kissing because—’”
I cross the space between us in two quick strides, cradle her cheeks in my palms, and crash my lips onto hers.
A squeak slips from her mouth but I swallow it down, dragging at her chin with my thumb until she opens for me. Waves crash in my ears. She tastes of fire and strawberries, like a liqueur so strong it shoots straight through my veins to the vibrant beat of my heart.
I thought I remembered what it was like to kiss Lola Ford. I’d fall asleep to the memory of her lips touching mine. I’d compare every kiss to hers. I’d deny myself the pleasure of imagining their soft, pillowy heat.
I had no fucking idea.
Time had dulled my memory and now synapses in my brain are flickering to life with every stroke of my tongue against hers. I don’t know how twenty-five-year-old me walked away from this because it’s intoxicating. There’s no way in hell I’m going back to a life where I don’t get to kiss Lola.
“Roman,” she breathes my name, the syllables rippling over my skin straight down to my hardening cock.
I drop my hands to her hips and lift her up. She hooks her legs behind me and I spin us around, carrying her to the edge of the orchard. We collide into the nearest tree, her back up against the trunk as her fingers tangle in my hair.
The leaves rustle above us and a few apples fall to the ground, but I don’t care. I like the idea that we’re leaving our mark. I’m not going to be the same after this so it’s only fair the earth isn’t either.
I pull away from her mouth but only because the promise of the soft skin of her neck calls to me as she tilts back her head in pleasure. I breathe her in then nip and suck at her skin. God, the things I want to do to this woman.
I thought I didn’t have a chance. I thought I was a childish crush she’d long since forgotten. I can’t even begin to fathom that she never stopped wanting me and I hate that she thinks I rejected her because I didn’t feel the same way.
I pull back, my breaths coming in heavy as I find her eyes with mine. “Just so we’re clear, you are not a bad kisser.”
A smile spreads across her face. “I kind of figured since I never got complaints from any other guys.”
Jealously flares inside of me and I push my hips into her, settling myself between her thighs.
She whimpers, her legs clenching around me.
My hand trails over the thin strap of her dress and I bring it to a rest against the hollow of her throat, collaring her neck just enough to get her attention. “Do me a favor Firebird, don’t mention other men when you’re in my arms.”
Heat burns in her hazel eyes and seeing her reaction has my cock straining against the zipper of my shorts.
She bites her bottom lip, an edge of wariness creeping into her gaze. “Does that mean you plan on having me in your arms again?”
“Fuck, yes.” I move my hand higher, circling her throat and tilting her head back so I can capture her mouth once more. I drag her bottom lip between my teeth because if she gets to do it then so do I.
She moans, her hips grinding against me but then her palm comes down to my chest and she pushes me back. “Roman, wait.”
“Don’t want to,” I grumble like a fucking toddler told to give back his favorite toy. But I’m a grown ass man and I know what consent means so I pull back and listen.
Lola’s eyes crease. She tilts her head to the side. “What is happening right now?”
“I’m done holding back. That’s what’s happening.”
“You’re kidding, right? You rejected me.”
The muscles in my jaw tighten. “You were eighteen.”
“So? That excuse has a time limit, Roman. I haven’t been eighteen in six years.”
I squeeze her hips, my frustration leaking out. “You also haven’t exactly been here either.”
Lola wriggles in my grip and I set her down.
The sunlight dapples through the branches of the apple tree, dancing on her face as thoughts flicker across her eyes.
I wait, wondering whether she’ll admit what I’ve always suspected, that part of her left because she was running away.
From her reputation, from her family, hell maybe even from me.
Instead, she settles on, “I’ve been back enough.”
I work my jaw. She’s not wrong and each time she’s returned I’ve fought the pull to claim her as mine.
“Maybe,” I concede. “But you lied. I had no idea you remembered that night. You were young and drunk and even if what you felt for me was more than just a teenage crush it was never an option anyways, because you were still my best friend’s little sister.
” My words hit the air like an axe splitting a tree. I step back.
Lola stares up at me, her kiss-stained lips parted, both of us waiting in silence for the tree to fall. Because even though it feels like everything has changed in the last five minutes, that hasn’t. And it never will. Lola is Mase’s little sister.
A car rumbles down the drive, it’s engine the only sound between us. I look over my shoulder and curse. As if my guilty conscience summoned him, Mase climbs out of the car.
“Come on.” I pull Lola away from the tree and guide her back to the patio with my palm on her lower back.
It feels all kind of wrong to break contact and drop my hand.
Her cotton dress whispers against my fingers like she’s already a memory fading away.
Except I don’t think I can forget kissing her so easily, don’t think I can go back to just fantasizing about her behind closed eyes when I can still feel the heat of her lips on mine.
Mase draws closer. His brow furrows at Lola and I shove my hands in my short pockets to stop from reaching out and tugging her into my side.
“What are you doing here?” he asks her.
Lola crosses her arms and tilts her chin up. “Nice to see you too, Mase.” Her tone is defensive, but I see the way her fingers dig into her upper arm.
Mase looks between the two of us, his eyes narrowed. I’m not sure I have any desire to put his mind at ease. I don’t want to pretend like nothing just happened when it feels like my entire life has changed course.
In the end, it’s Lola who speaks. “I remembered Roman was pretty good at shop in school so I hired him to make my sign.” She waves her hand at the driftwood.
I hold myself still, not liking the way her words rankle inside my chest. I don’t want to be just someone she’s hired. I want to be someone she needs. Someone she wants. Someone she doesn’t have to hide.
“It’s perfect,” Lola says, turning to face me. “I’ll walk back and send Henry over to pick it up later.”
“I can take you back,” I say.
Lola glances at Mase. He’s shifting on his feet, his hands buried in his pockets. He’s clearly not okay.
Her smile is soft, her worry for him creases in the crinkles of her eyes. “I’ll be fine walking.”
“I’ll see you later?” I ask, not liking how she’s pulling back from me.
“Sure.” Lola flashes a weak smile, and I watch her walk away, my gaze lingering on the hem of her dress as it brushes her thighs.
I force my attention to Mase because fantasizing about his sister, the soft skin of her thighs and the taste of her lips, while he stands three feet away is a new low.
He rubs a hand along the back of his neck. It shakes a little as he brings it back down. “You said to come here.”
He doesn’t finish the sentence, but I hear it anyway. He needs a drink and I told him to come here instead.
I give him a firm nod. “Come on.” I head to the stables. “I’ll make you another grilled cheese and then you can help me take the sign over to Lola’s.”
He falls into step with me but not before I notice the slight tremor in his hand. “I thought she was sending Henry.” He cuts me a look. “Any idea who that is by the way?”
I grunt. “Henry couldn’t lift a fucking twig.” I’m being a dick. Henry’s probably a perfectly nice guy but Lola was right, I’m jealous of the kid.
Even if there isn’t anything going on between them, which their better fucking not be after today, he still gets to spend his time with her, day in, day out.
So yeah, I’m jealous and if she thinks we’re going back to whatever we were before I held her in my arms today, she’s got another thing coming. There’s no way I’m letting her go now.