Chapter Five
Today was better. When Fletch had come in this morning, he’d brought a cup of coffee and a breakfast burrito for Spider. And he hadn’t even had to ask.
When Spider had mentioned that he’d lost his phone, Fletch had pulled one from a backpack he’d been hauling around with him and handed it over.
“Yours was destroyed in the accident. Hawkeye has it if you need it, but you won’t be getting any information off it.
I hope you had your shit backed up,” Fletch said as he also pulled a charger and long cord out of his bag and moved around Spider’s bed to plug it in.
“This is so you can keep it charged. You might be a little less bitchy to all of us if you’ve got something to do other than think up shit to complain about. ”
Spider didn’t reply but flipped him off instead. Then he spent the next hour getting logged into the different services, replying to messages and a couple of emails.
The real surprise to Spider had been when he hadn’t had to push to get his best friend to leave him alone while he went to pick up lunch.
Spider had taken that time to call the number on the card Keane had left.
The call had gone to voicemail and the whole time Spider had listened to the recording he’d debated leaving a message or just hanging up.
But in the end, he’d left a message. Then he’d gone to the text app and started a list of things he wanted from his room at the clubhouse.
He’d send it to Raven, and he had no doubt the president would make sure they were gathered and brought to him, probably by one of the prospects.
Headphones were at the top of that list. There was a lot he could do with just a phone and headphones, whether it was find something to watch, or he could listen to a podcast, music, or an audio book.
He might be stuck in the bed most of the time, at least for now, but that didn’t mean his head was stuck here.
A couple hours after he left the voice mail for Keane, he’d gotten a text back saying he was headed into town and would see him soon. Spider read it but didn’t say anything to Fletch. He turned and looked at his best friend for a moment, wondering if he should ask, then decided why the fuck not?
“What do you know about the guy who came in yesterday? The old cowboy,” Spider said.
Fletch frowned, watched him for a moment, then shrugged.
“Not much more than I said yesterday. I remember seeing the whole thing on TV, but I don’t remember if we were watching it live or just saw it in replays.
He was big news for a while, at least in the rodeo world.
I knew he’d lost a leg, but I didn’t even remember which one until he showed you.
” Fletch shrugged. “I can have Hawkeye look into him if you’d like? ”
Spider shook his head. He didn’t need that much information. He could probably find what he was wondering about with an online search or two. He’d probably even find the footage of the ride if he wanted. He wasn’t sure he wanted to.
“I’ll figure it out.” He couldn’t hold back a yawn.
He wanted to be awake when Keane got there, but the time he’d spent in physical therapy that morning had exhausted him.
“He’s on his way.” Spider ignored the surprise on Fletch’s face and kept talking.
“I’m wiped from PT, but I want to see him. Wake me when he gets here?”
“Are you sure? You’re exhausted. Maybe you should sleep.”
Spider shook his head. “I reached out to him. He’s making the trip for me. Wake me when he gets here or I’ll be pissed. I might not be able to kick your ass right now but just try me. I will remember it and I will wait until you’re not expecting it then fuck you up.”
Fletch held up both hands, as if he was surrendering.
“All right, all right. I’ll wake you.”
Spider watched him with narrowed eyes for a moment, then he found the remote and lowered the head of the bed slightly before closing his eyes and drifting off.
****
“I’m not going to lie to you.” Clint Keane sat in a chair next to Spider’s bed, talking to him.
“It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be painful.
There will be times when you wonder why you’re doing this to yourself.
There will be times when you want to throw your hands up and give up.
” The older man looked away from Spider to where his daughter, Jordon, sat in the window seat, waiting quietly.
“It will change you, not just how you do some things, but so much more. But I’ll be one hundred percent honest when I tell you it’s worth it. ”
When Clint and his daughter had arrived, Fletch had made sure he was awake, exchanged greetings, then made excuses to leave.
Spider was still amazed by his friend’s insight sometimes.
Somehow he’d figured out that Spider would be more comfortable, and able to talk more freely if he wasn’t hanging around, so he’d found a reason not to be there.
Though he had told Spider to reach out if he needed anything, even if it was just to talk, now that he had a phone, and that he was going to go try to catch up on a little of the sleep he’d lost while babysitting Spider’s extended siesta.
Spider hadn’t bothered to resist the urge to flip off the man he called brother.
“Thirty seconds in the arena changed my entire life.” Clint’s voice pulled Spider back to the present.
“And I can’t say it wasn’t for the best.” He turned back to look at Spider.
“When Wild Demon threw me, I was a good bull rider. But I was a bad father and an even worse husband. I was off having fun, riding bulls, and being what I thought was a big man. I’d left my wife at home to run the ranch and take care of two small children, with only the most basic support.
If I hadn’t encountered Wild Demon that night, who knows how my life would have gone.
But one thing I know is that Colleen was already getting tired of my shit.
I don’t know that she would have stayed around much longer.
The accident changed so much.” He shook his head.
“I don’t know how much she remembers,” he tilted the top of his head toward Jordon, “but we went through some rough times with my recovery. I was an ass, and that was on my good days. On the bad ones, I couldn’t see past the poor-me victim mentality.
” Clint looked down at where he’d clasped his hands between his knees.
“I don’t know how Colleen put up with me.
I don’t know why she didn’t take the kids and leave.
Hell knows it would have been a lot easier.
Maybe she saw the man I could be. I don’t know.
Either way, I’m thankful she stuck by me.
Because she did, I’ve got two more children, a successful ranch, and a life I wouldn’t change for the world.
None of that could have happened if I hadn’t gotten on the back of that bull. ”
He was quiet for a moment, then he lifted his gaze and met Spider’s eyes.
“Look, I don’t know where you stand religiously, and it doesn’t matter.
I’m not trying to get preachy with you, only to get you to see that things happen for a reason.
Sometimes that reason isn’t obvious. Sometimes it takes twenty years and looking back at it from who you’ve become to see the way it’s impacted you. ”
Spider watched Clint for a moment, not sure what to say.
It wasn’t that he expected this to be easy.
Nothing worth having in life had ever been easy.
And for a moment he wished he had a woman in his life like Colleen.
A woman he’d never even met. But he’d seen a couple of his brothers find their old ladies recently.
At first he’d sworn off it. The last thing he’d wanted to do was to settle down with one woman.
To never be able to take one of the mamas up to his room again.
But as he got to know the old ladies, to interact with them more, the more he found himself wanting one of his own.
Not just any woman, but one who would be loyal. One who would be as fiercely protective of him as he would be to her. Someone who he could lean on, someone who would lean on him when she needed it.
Spider glanced at the girl sitting in the window seat and wondered, not for the first time, why she was there.
Today she wore a long sleeve flannel shirt, jeans, and riding boots.
Her long hair had been pulled back into some kind of complicated braid.
He’d noticed it hanging down her back when she’d moved to sit on the bench.
There were specks of drying mud on the lower legs of her jeans.
It looked like she’d been out on the ranch most of the day, then had cleaned up and come into town when he’d called.
Did Clint take her to all of these meetings like this?
If so, why had she stayed in the background?
Why hadn’t she said more than a few words in both visits?
He didn’t know if she was there because she did this with her father or if it was for some other reason.
He leaned to one side so he could see her a little better, ignored the pain in his ribs much the way he’d been doing all day, and spoke to her.
“What do you say?”
She looked at him, eyes wide with surprise. Was she used to fading into the background and not being spoken to?
“I—I hadn’t thought about it much.” She straightened and twisted in the seat, swinging her legs off the bench and onto the floor.
“I remember when Daddy was gone. I remember knowing he was hurt, but a lot of the rest of it—the fights, the possibility of leaving? I have no memory of it. I don’t know if I didn’t know about it or I just don’t remember. ”
“Not what I meant,” Spider said, shaking his head.
“What did you mean?” she asked with a frown.
He blinked a moment, trying to find the right words to ask something he hadn’t fully processed before he’d asked the first time. “How would you handle it? Say something happened to your husband and he had to go through all this.” He waved one hand down the length of his bed. “What would you do?”
She tilted her head to one side but didn’t look away.
“I’m not sure.” She shook her head. “I’m not trying to avoid answering.
I just don’t know. I’d like to say I’d stick.
That I’d do anything I needed to to make sure he got through it, but if I’m totally honest, and I try to be, I can’t say it with certainty.
We never know how we will handle any situation until we’re faced with it.
We can say what we think we would do, but what we think and what happens in life often isn’t the same thing, is it?
If it were, there’d be no divorce, no abuse.
I mean if we promise to love and cherish for the rest of our lives, then we divorce, we didn’t do what we thought we would, did we? ”
Spider’s brows lifted. He’d never thought about it that way. There was more to Jordon than was apparent.
“Not that I’m the right person to ask. I’m not married.” She gave him a half smile, one side of her mouth quirking up in a gesture similar to a look Clint had made several times while telling his story.
Spider shrugged. “Just because you haven’t made it legal yet don’t mean nothing. I’m sure your guy knows better than to do something stupid like let you go.” He watched as she looked away and her face turned pink.
“Thank you, but I’m not seeing anyone.”
Spider found that hard to believe. This woman was knock ‘em dead hot and she walked with the confidence of someone who knew what she was worth. That alone would have made him stop and talk to her ... well, if he wasn’t looking at such a long recovery.
But this wasn’t the time to start something.
He wouldn’t have time to devote to finding out everything about her, much less to give her the time she deserved, not when he planned to spend as much time as he could getting back on his feet, literally.
Clint shifted in his seat, bringing Spider’s attention back to him.
“I want to support you in any way I can. You need to talk? About anything. Call me. I’ll be there. I’ll listen. If you need someone to come down and cheer you on through PT, I can do that. If you need someone to sit there and try to shame you into pushing harder than you want, I can do that, too.”
Spider couldn’t help but chuckle, even though it hurt and he had to tighten his arm against his ribs.
“I think my brothers will have it handled if I need hecklers, but I appreciate the offer. I’m sure I’ll reach out, though, because I have no doubt I will have questions or just need someone to talk to who has an idea where I’m coming from. ”
“I can do that.” Clint said, pushing himself to his feet. “But we woke you, and I know you have to be tired.” He turned to Jordon who had already stood and was standing quietly, waiting. “I’ll plan to come earlier next time. Have they told you when you’ll start physical therapy?”
“I started this morning.”
Clint’s eyes went wide.
“That was fast.”
“I insisted. It’s upper body only for now, but I already spent almost a week unconscious. I don’t want to lose any more muscle mass than I already have.”
Clint nodded. “Just don’t push too hard. That will set you back more than it will help. Trust me.” He glanced toward his daughter, then headed for the door. “Feel free to call or text any time,” he said as they left.
Spider watched them go, then let his head fall back against the bed. Clint hadn’t been wrong about him being tired. He glanced at his phone, thinking he should let Fletch know they were gone. But he was tired. He would do it in a minute. Then he fell asleep.