Chapter Twenty-One
Spider looked down at his leg. His calf looked so much smaller than it used to be. Not that he had anything to compare to, but he would swear it was smaller.
“It’s normal to lose muscle tone. You’ve not been able to use it for nearly two months,” the orthopedic P.A.
who was overseeing his care said as he picked up the bits of cast liner that had been shed when he cut the cast off, and put them in the trash.
He’d already asked if Spider wanted to keep the cast, but he’d refused.
He didn’t need any more reminders of what he’d gone through for the last two months than the ones he’d never be able to get rid of.
“Okay, so what now?” Spider asked, looking up at the doctor who appeared several years younger than him.
The PA bobbed his head from side to side.
“Normally we would put another cast on, this one smaller, but you’re healing particularly well.
We’re going to go with a brace. That will give you more flexibility and range of motion.
But you need to be careful how much you use that leg.
I get that it will be hard not to put your entire weight on it, everything considered.
I want you on your feet for no more than an hour a day.
Total.” He met Spider’s gaze with a stern look, as if he could tell that Spider was going to be difficult about this.
“If you don’t listen to me, we’ll be able to tell, and I’ll put a cast back on you. ”
Spider sighed and nodded. He wanted to be on his feet but knew it would take time. Though, right now, Spider wasn’t sure he could manage even an hour on crutches. He was still going to PT three times a week and it still totally kicked his ass.
“I’ll listen. No more than an hour a day,” Spider repeated. “How long until I can lose the brace?”
“Depending on how well you follow instructions? Four to eight weeks.”
Spider’s shoulders slumped. He’d hoped to be more mobile, but he’d take what he could get.
Even an hour a day on crutches would be better than every movement needing the wheelchair.
He’d been out of rehab for a couple of weeks, and between that and the time he spent in one before his release, he was sick of it.
When this was all over, he planned to take the fucking thing and add it to the bonfire they had for Fourth of July on the Angels’ compound.
Just the mental image of watching his wheelchair burn was enough to motivate him to follow the doc’s orders. If he could get the brace off, and take a few weeks off PT, he might manage that trip Jordon had been talking about.
“What are the chances I could get this thing off by the first of May, then take a few weeks and do a little traveling?”
“What do you mean?” the PA asked with a frown.
“My girl has been talking up this trip to me, a road trip from here to Alaska. A trailer to sleep in, camping along the way. I’d like to be able to do it.”
The PA scowled. “If you follow instructions, I don’t see why you couldn’t have it off by May, but taking time off PT will set you back. You’ll lose strength and have to recover that ground when you get back.”
Spider shrugged. “I don’t plan on stopping the exercises, just not attend so often. I know it won’t be easy, but she came up with the trip to motivate me. I’d like to be able to take it, and to spend more time with her.”
“Well,” the PA tilted his head and watched Spider for a moment, “then let’s use it that way. Do what you’re told, work your ass off in PT, and we’ll work toward it. I can’t guarantee you’ll be ready by May, but we’ll shoot for that.”
“Thanks, doc. Now. Where’s this brace and how often do I get to take it off, even for a few minutes?”
****
That night, Spider lay in bed wishing he could take off the brace to sleep, but that was against the doctor’s order.
Though it had been heaven to be able to take it off for his shower earlier.
PT on the other hand had been a whole new chapter of hell, but he’d persisted.
It was a milestone on the way to where he was going, he knew that.
While not a sign he was done, it was a good marker that he was on the way.
He reminded himself that every time his spirits started to flag.
It wasn’t that he expected himself to stay upbeat and happy all the time.
He allowed himself to be down or just not feeling it from time to time, but one of the things he’d learned a long time ago was perspective affected the way you dealt with things, and when you chose to look at everything as an attack, you were always on the offensive.
That was how his father had been and Spider had known from the time he was a child that his father was the last person he wanted to emulate.
His mother had been different, but not what he wanted to be either. She’d seen herself as a victim. And in a way, she was—she was a victim of his father’s abuse. Spider had been too, until he’d gotten the hell out of Thermopolis and left his father behind.
Over the years Spider had worked his ass off, not just to leave behind the legacy of abuse of one kind or another.
His father had abused him and his mother.
His mother had abused alcohol. Spider was determined to break that chain, or rather, both of them.
That had led Spider to limiting himself to only the occasional drink and never more than one.
It had also been the driving force behind Spider deciding to change his outlook on life.
He would not be the kind of person his father was.
The kind that thought everyone was out to get him, that the world was against him.
That it didn’t matter what he did to get ahead, something would always come along to knock him down.
The kind of person who only focused on the negative in their life and was so focused on himself that he forgot about everything else.
Instead, he’d focused on the good. He tried to help when he could, especially with the Angels who had become his family, and they were a far more supportive family than his parents had been. Even when the worst happened, he tried to find the silver lining, even if it wasn’t always easy to locate.
He shifted, attempting to find a comfortable position with the new hardware.
He closed his eyes and tried to relax. His mind drifted back to the day Jordon had been trying to get him to lie down, but he hadn’t wanted to miss any time with her.
She’d agreed to lay down with him. They’d fallen asleep side by side, but when he had woken, he’d found her curled up, with him wrapped around her, as if protecting her.
He still didn’t know if she’d rolled into him or if he’d pulled her close, only that he ached to feel her like that again.
To have her trust him when she was at her most vulnerable.
That was something he could get used to.
But he had to go about it carefully. Her father had been nothing but good to him, and the last thing he wanted to do was to disrespect him by disrespecting Jordon.
No. He was coming to care about her far too much for something like that.
The trick would be to figure out how to get what he suspected Jordon wanted as much as he did, without alienating her father or the rest of her family.
He’d met her mother once, but none of her brothers.
He knew that needed to happen sooner rather than later.
An idea blossomed in his head, and a smile curved his lips, despite his being alone and in the dark so no one could see it. He would talk to Dax and get everything in place first thing in the morning.