Chapter 11
Quinn
After my argument with Reid and his brothers yesterday, and the shitshow the night before, I’m feeling distinctly claustrophobic in the vastness of Barrett’s mansion and the rambling estate that Ilya has staked as his own.
The Russians have secured the property in the last twenty-four hours, and I need to get away, if only for a short reprieve.
When I’m nodded through the gates by two guards carrying assault rifles, I take my first full breath in what seems like an age.
I put my foot on the gas, and as I head into town, I fight the urge to cry.
I did enough crying after finishing my call with the Griffins.
Hearing Ash describe what Ilya had probably done to Blake had tipped me over the edge.
Every word rang true. A truth I’ve been denying for too long.
I’d told Reid that Blake looked waif-like when I’d last seen her, but a better description would be that she was a ghost of her former self. Whatever depraved acts Ilya had been forcing her to perform, had haunted her. Could she survive a whole year of that? I still can’t face the alternative.
Heading straight to the grocery store, I grab some supplies.
Clara had organized a regular delivery before she left, but it’s junk I’m craving.
I briefly consider picking up a bottle of rosé at the liquor store to settle my nerves, but I don’t want to use alcohol as an emotional crutch.
Substance abuse destroyed our mother, and Blake and I had always promised never to suffer the same fate.
I can remember the look of disgust on my sister’s face whenever she smelled tequila.
She said it reminded her of Mom’s breath.
It reminded me of regular beatings and empty cupboards.
In contrast, chocolate and Pringles resurrect memories of cold winter nights huddled under the covers with my little sister as we devoured the food we’d occasionally bought, but more often stole.
As I load up my Jeep, I’m constantly aware of my surroundings. As much as I fear the Russians, right now I’m more concerned that Reid’s going to kidnap me in broad daylight. That’s why I have his Glock hidden beneath my denim jacket. I feel comforted by its weight.
I’d been unsure if I could ever pull the trigger on someone, but after what happened in the woods, now I know.
I feel no remorse for protecting myself and those I care about.
People like Reid. I killed for him, and I’d do it again.
But that doesn’t mean I won’t pull a gun on him if he gets in my way.
I’m about to get in the car and head back to the estate when I notice a familiar shade of purple hair. Tandy comes out of her mom’s coffee shop and makes a beeline for me.
“What are you doing back here?” I ask, pulling away from her hug and checking out her waitress uniform. This isn’t a social visit.
“It was so boring in Connecticut,” she huffs. “And as lovely as it was to get paid for hanging around doing nothing, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stick it out. I handed in my notice yesterday and Barrett said I could go whenever I liked. So here I am.”
“Did Clara come back too?” I ask, trying not to build up my hopes. Or be selfish. I miss her friendship, but she’s better off away from here.
“No, she’s happy staying where she is,” Tandy says with a shrug. “She’s still convinced we’re in mortal danger from the Griffins. Personally, I think Barrett is just being a wimp. He should try dealing with some of the biker gangs we get passing through.”
“You’re not planning on asking him for your job back at the house, are you?”
Tandy pulls a face. “He took that option off the table before I’d even asked, but to be honest, if it’s just another big, empty house, I’ll give it a miss anyways.
I’d rather keep busy,” she says, scrunching her nose.
“What’s it like there now it’s been furnished?
Are you eating off solid gold plates at a mile-long dining table with crystal chandeliers sparkling overhead? ”
“Not quite, but you’re right about the chandeliers.”
She rolls her eyes. “And now it’s lying empty, pretty much like the house in Connecticut.
Barrett has more money than sense,” she says before casting her gaze back to the coffee shop.
It’s lunchtime and business is picking up.
“I really should get back, but it’s lovely seeing you.
Let’s catch up soon. You can tell me how badly Jason is pining after Clara. ”
“I’d love that,” I say, and I’m surprised how much I mean it. Normal life seems utterly out of reach right now.
A knot of anxiety twists my insides as I leave town and take the road leading back to Barrett’s estate. I tap out a drum beat on the steering wheel. “You’re going to be fine,” I tell myself.
“You will if you do as I say.”
My body jerks in shock and the Jeep careens across the road before I’m able to correct my steering. Luckily the road was clear.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” I yell, brakes screeching as I pull over to the side of the road.
My heart is in my throat, my mind racing, but I’ve prepared for moments like this. My hand goes to the Glock, and my finger curls around the trigger as I twist in my seat and take aim.
“This time, Reid…” I take a gulp of air. “This time, I really am going to fucking kill you. I nearly killed us both for fuck’s sake.”
Reid unfurls himself from behind my seat, shrugs off the blanket he was hiding beneath, and collapses onto the back seat. “I waited until the road was quiet.”
I’m not listening. I don’t care. “Get out.”
“Quinn, I just–”
I’m shaking with fury, but I keep my hand lethally steady. “Get. Out. Now.”
He leans forward, his eyes never leaving mine as he presses his chest to the barrel of the gun. “No.”
My vision wobbles through shimmering tears. They’re just angry tears, I tell myself. “You’re not ruining this for me.”
“I’m not ruining anything, Quinn. You’re the one self-sabotaging.”
“And you’ve just made things ten times worse. What if Ilya’s spies saw you climbing into my car?”
“I made sure no one was around,” he says. He speaks softly, coaxing me so I’ll lower my guard, and the gun. “And Mace disabled all the CCTV cameras in the area.”
I sniff away my tears and let out a huff. My pulse starts to slow. “Your brothers are helping you? I thought they’d want me to stay on the inside so I could feed them information.”
Reid’s normally relaxed features tense in a way I’ve not seen before.
The anger I’d only heard over the phone yesterday is evident.
“Even if your stupidly obscene plan stood a chance of working, they’d never agree to any woman offering herself up as prey.
Ilya doesn’t get to touch you. We’ll find another way. ”
He’s so confident that he reaches for my gun, but I rear back and release the safety.
“When you aimed your gun at me in the woods, Quinn, there wasn’t a moment when I wanted to defend myself. Not if it meant shooting you.”
“Then that’s the difference between us.”
His voice is honey over oats. “You won’t shoot me.”
I tense my trigger finger. “Put me to the test, and I guess we’ll both find out,” I say evenly. “Out of curiosity, where would you advise I aim if I just wanted to incapacitate you?”
His soft mouth pulls into a smile that’s weighed down by the aching sadness in his eyes. “You might as well aim at my heart because I don’t want to live to see that bastard use you the way he uses all women.”
My back is pressed against the steering wheel. “I won’t let it get that far.”
“Neither will I.”
“You can’t stop me.”
“We can talk about that,” he says as we reach a stalemate. “Come back to my cabin. It’s only half an hour away. We can come up with another plan.”
“I don’t trust you.”
Reid leans his forehead against the side of my headrest and closes his eyes. His dark eyelashes flutter. “And so you shouldn’t.” He peels one eye open. There’s a wicked glint. “I have condoms. Lots of condoms.”
The heat of his words melts the ice in my veins.
I hate how he can do that. As part of my year-long prep, I’d stopped seeing myself as a sexual being.
I needed to be ready for the possibility of letting Ilya touch me.
For months, I’ve wrestled with the decision of whether or not I’d sleep with him to get my sister back. I still don’t have an answer.
Just like I don’t know if I would shoot Reid. But I would fuck him. Damn it, I want to fuck him. I need the kind of loving only he can offer before I face the monster that stole my sister. In a way, that makes Reid Griffin even more dangerous than Ilya.
“Do you have them on you?” I ask.
His features soften. “They’re in my pocket.”
I flick the safety back on the Glock, but I keep hold of it as I face front again. I put the Jeep in gear. “That settles it then.”
Leaving a trail of dust in our wake, I continue on my way.
“Don’t you want to know where the cabin is?”
“No. I’m going home,” I say.
Reid’s head appears between the gap in the front seats. His face is inches from mine, but I keep my eye on the road. There’s shock in his voice when he asks, “To the estate?”
“You have condoms. I have a bed and cotton sheets,” I point out. “I think that was everything you listed.”
“You’re fucking crazy,” he whispers close to my ear.
“Scared?”
“Of you? Always.”
“Either you come with me, or I’ll let you out on the side of the road. Those are the only two options.”
Reid’s hand wraps around my neck, but he doesn’t squeeze. His thumb strokes along my jawline. “I choose you every time, Quinn. You shouldn’t even need to ask.”
“Aren’t you worried about the guards on the gate?
They’re Ilya’s men,” I warn because I’m definitely worried on his behalf.
This is a stupid idea and I am crazy for suggesting it.
I might want to shoot Reid myself, but I don’t want him to get hurt.
Both of those things can be true at the same time. In my warped mind at least.
His hand continues to caress my neck and jaw. “Will they search the car?”
“I’ve been promised I can come and go as I please. They’re there to protect me – so they say.”
“Then I don’t see a problem. I go where you go.”
“And you call me crazy?”
“You make me crazy, Viper,” he says, trailing his thumb over my lips.
When I open my mouth, he pushes his thumb between my lips. I explore the taste and texture with the tip of my tongue. Saliva fills my mouth.
“I can’t stop thinking about those lips around my cock,” he says in a gravelly voice. “Could you still taste me when you went to bed? Because I could taste you.”
Reid pulls his thumb from my mouth and leaves a wet trail down my chin and neck before sliding his hand beneath my denim jacket.
I’m wearing a summer dress and he follows the low neckline before slipping his hand beneath the fabric.
He pushes inside my bra, and when he rolls one of my hardened and sensitive nipples between his finger and thumb, the jolt of pleasure makes me gasp.
“Put your foot down,” he orders.
I don’t need asking twice.
When the guards open the gates for me, I give a polite wave but I don’t stop.
Reid is crouched on the floor behind my seat again, and he grumbles as I drive around to the rear entrance, bumping over potholes that I could probably have avoided.
I’m still angry with him. He’s making my life more complicated than it needs to be, and we’re both taking a ridiculous risk just so we can get naked together.
The next pothole hits a spot deep in my core, but I don’t complain like Reid.
“Did you just moan?” he accuses. “Are you feeling needy, Viper?”
“Shush, and don’t move. I need to check where Jason is.”
There’s a garage block at the back of the mansion that connects with the house. Given it’s just the two of us in residence, Jason’s been storing his maintenance vehicles there.
As I wait for the garage doors to open, I spot movement by a row of newly planted shrubs. I lower my window and wave at the gardener.
“Jason’s out working,” I say, not moving my lips.
“Are there cameras inside?”
“No. Barrett’s got it into his head that whatever we install could be accessed from outside forces,” I say. “I don’t know what gave him that idea.”
“Can’t imagine.”
I don’t know how this man can sound so sweet and innocent one minute, and speak like the devil on my shoulder the next. But it’s the devil I’m choosing to listen to for the next few hours.