Chapter 32
Belle
The approach of footsteps gives me enough warning to hobble away from the window. I swallow a groan as I settle onto the bed and shuffle back against the mound of pillows. I’m feigning sleep when Ash enters the room.
And I know it’s Ash before he sits down next to me because I know his scent. It reminds me of grain stores and oak barrels, and there’s also the faintest hint of Simmons whiskey on his breath. Our whiskey.
He sweeps a strand of hair from my face, careful not to touch the dressing on the side of my head. “Nice try,” he whispers.
I smile as I peel open my eyes. “What gave it away?”
He kisses my forehead. “I know you.” His lips remain on my skin. “We know where she is.”
I use the one arm that isn’t in a sling to push against Ash’s chest. I need to read his expression before I’ll believe it’s true. My heart skips a beat. There’s a determination in his eyes that leaves no room for doubt. I’m getting my baby back.
“You’re going to get her?” My voice cracks, but not my resolve to hold back my tears. I won’t cry until this nightmare is over.
“We’ll be heading out within the hour,” he says. “She’s in Georgia, so you’re going to have a long wait ahead of you.”
“I want to come with you.”
“Belle, taking you would be a logistical nightmare. We won’t be able to land the plane near Barrett’s hideout, which means I’d have to leave guards with you, which means we’d have less men to launch the assault, and…”
My body sags, and he knows he’s already won the argument.
“Trust me, Belle. I’m not coming back without our daughter. I promise.”
I could interpret that promise one of two ways, and one of them isn’t good. “I need you to stay safe, Ash. For me and for Piper. I need you. I’m done living this life without you. We need all three of us to make us whole.”
His lips skate over mine, and it’s not enough.
I thread my fingers through his hair and keep his mouth on mine.
I taste the whiskey on his lips as I lick the seam of his mouth, and when he opens up for me, his tongue finds mine.
It’s our first kiss since he found me on that landing strip.
I swallow his groan just before he pulls away.
“There are so many reasons why I can’t fuck you right now, and I’m liable to forget every single one if you keep kissing me like that,” he whispers.
My physical condition is the most obvious barrier, but the main reason we’ve denied ourselves is guilt.
We can’t seek pleasure from each other while our daughter is suffering at the hands of the man who fooled me into thinking he was our protector.
This is all my fault. I don’t deserve pleasure. I don’t deserve rest.
“I can wait,” I tell him. Waiting is exactly what I have to do until this nightmare is over. “But do I get my phone back now?”
I hadn’t been trusted alone with my phone, and with good reason.
I’ve put all my faith in the Griffin brothers’ ability to track and recover my daughter, but it doesn’t mean that faith hasn’t been tested, especially in the quiet hours before dawn this morning.
What was Barrett’s original plan when he tried to abduct us both?
What deal would he try to broker now? He can’t force me to love him, and he’ll never claim me except by force, but I’m less confident that he couldn’t win by coercion.
“Do you want it back?” Ash asks, knowing what thoughts are running through my head. We’d been up most of the night theorizing about Barrett’s warped plans.
“Maybe not,” I concede. “I know any contact with him will be playing into his hands, but I do need a phone. How will we keep in touch?”
“I’ll get Mace to set something up.” He strokes my hair.
“Is it too much to hope that you’ll get some sleep while I’m gone?
” he asks, to which I scoff. “Fine, then I don’t want you being on your own.
Rory’s coming over. I’ve already told him he can’t get mixed up in what I intend to do to Barrett, but he’s desperate to do something to help. ”
“I don’t expect I’ll be good company.”
“You don’t have to be. Rory’s a good storyteller, and he’s promised to keep everyone entertained while we’re away. Maddie turned one of our rooms into a little reading nook, and they’re all going to wait it out in there. Unless you want Quinn to sit with you in here? She has offered.”
I rest my head against his chest. “All I want to do is sit in a corner and hold my breath.”
“I know, sweetheart, but I’d feel better if I knew you were being looked after,” he says. “Don’t make me worry about you.”
“Fine, but don’t expect me not to worry about you. I won’t rest until you’re both back in my arms.” I grip his t-shirt in my fist. “And I want to see you holding Piper in yours. You’ve waited too long for this. Damn you for not hating me.”
“The only way I’ll be damned is if I let Barrett get away with this. He’s the one who deserves my hate.”
I tilt my head up to look at him. “Will you kill him?”
Ash searches my face, looking for signs of an old fear when he asks, “Will you still love me if I do?”
“Ash, I’d love you more.”