Chapter 35 Ash
Ash
Piper has moved to the furthest corner amongst the dust bunnies under the bed. Her legs are tucked beneath her and she keeps her arms stretched in front. She’s ready to crawl in the opposite direction to wherever I move as I flatten myself on the floor. She’s terrified. So am I.
We’re alone. I’ve closed the door and the only sounds above our matched rapid breaths are the scrapes and shuffles of bodies being removed from the corridor. I don’t want Piper to see what I did.
“Hey, Piper. It’s OK. I’m… My name’s Ash. You’re safe now, honey. No one’s going to hurt you. Not ever again,” I swear. Good luck to the assholes who try to steal her heart when she’s older.
Her features scrunch up, but she doesn’t respond.
“You saw me the other day when you were at the gates with Tandy,” I say. I have to stop to clear my throat. “You waved at me. Your mom said I was important.”
“Are you?” she challenges.
“I think I could be.” I want so damn much to be important to her.
“Your mom’s waiting for you at my house. She’s been so worried about you, and I can’t wait to get you back to her,” I say, reaching out a hand.
“Is she OK? I saw…” Her eyes turn glassy. “She fell.”
“She banged her head, but she’s getting better,” I tell her softly. “Do you think you could come out of there so we can go and see her?”
“Are the bad men gone?”
“We’re chasing the last of them away. Including Barrett.”
“He’s been so mean to me and Marina,” she grumbles. “Where is she?”
I fight to school my expression. There’s nothing I can do for the woman who saved my daughter’s life, but if she leaves behind a family, they’ll want for nothing. “She had to go someplace else,” I say. “It’s just you we need to get out of here now. Please, honey. Let me take you home.”
Piper thinks on it a while. “I need to see your ID.”
That I wasn’t expecting. “Ah, right,” I say, patting down my bullet-proof vest as if I’ll conveniently find my wallet tucked into it. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any ID. But I can prove I know your mom.”
“How?”
The simplest thing would be to phone Belle, and I will once Piper is out from under the bed, but what kind of dad would I be if I had to phone for backup at the very first obstacle. “Belle’s favorite drink is whiskey, and she never buys a dress that doesn’t have pockets.”
Piper considers my answers. “Her favorite drink is coffee.”
“Yeah, with whiskey in it.”
She smiles. “My grandpa made whiskey.”
I reach my hand towards her. “He sure did. And so did your mom. I watched her make it,” I say as Piper starts shuffling closer. “And I’d like to see her make it again.”
My daughter inches towards me. “I could help.”
I exaggerate a frown. “You don’t know how to make whiskey.”
“I do too,” she says proudly. “I can draw you a picture of a still if you’d like.”
“I’d like that a lot,” I say as Piper comes within touching distance.
Not wanting to overwhelm her, I keep my outstretched hand on the floor, leaving it to Piper to decide the moment when our fingertips touch. My heart fucking melts when it happens.
It takes everything I have to shuffle back and give her space. Piper emerges from her hiding place, then climbs onto the bed. She perches on the edge, hands in her lap, eyes scrutinizing me. “You sure you’re a good guy?”
The question almost crushes me. Am I a good guy?
I’ve been wrestling with that question for too many years, and it’s one I should probably revisit after what happened in the corridor.
I should regret killing Barrett, on some level at least, but I don’t.
He was always going to pose a danger to Belle and Piper.
I’d kill for them. And I had Belle’s permission.
If she meant what she said. At some point I’ll find out.
“We could always ask your mom if I’m a good guy,” I say, tapping my earpiece. “Mace, I need you to patch me through to Belle.”
“Ash?” Belle says, a second later.
“I’ve got her. She’s safe.”
Belle releases a howl that’s loud enough for Piper to hear. Our little girl’s brow furrows, as if she’s having second thoughts about trusting me.
“She’s just happy, honey,” I say. “Do you want to speak to her?”
When I offer the earpiece to Piper, she wraps her hand around my fingers as she presses it against her ear. With the sound of Belle’s sobs still echoing down the radio waves, there’s a good chance Piper’s the only one who’s going to be holding it together for much longer.
“Mommy? Why are you crying?” she asks. I don’t hear Belle’s reply but I can guess by Piper’s answer. “Well, you don’t sound happy.”
The conversation is short, but it’s enough to reel Belle back from hysteria and convince Piper that I’m worthy of her trust.
“We’ll be there as soon as we can,” I promise Belle once I have my earpiece back. “We’re still at the place Barrett was holding her, so we need to go.”
“Come back to me.”
“Nothing on this earth is going to stop me,” I promise.
Belle sniffs back tears. “I love you.”
I’m aware of Piper’s inquisitive gaze absorbing every detail of my face when I mumble, “I love you too.” I swear I blush.
When the line clears, I check in with my brothers. “Is it clear out there?”
“Short of mopping up the blood, we’re good to go,” Hunter replies. “Killian’s busy making sure there are no remaining threats, but I’d rather leave now than give what’s left of Oleg’s forces time to regroup.”
“Agreed. Give me two minutes.”
With the memory of what happened to Marina still fresh in my mind, I loosen the straps on my vest. If I try putting it on Piper, it’s going to slip right off her, but I’m not leaving her unprotected.
“Piper, there’s still some bad men out there, so I need to carry you while you hide beneath this vest. It’s made of special material to stop anything hard hitting you.”
“I know what a Kevlar vest is. I’m not a baby.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to see that,” I say with a rueful smile. I knew I’d have to speed through the formative years of fatherhood, but it’s going to take a while to catch up with my smart-ass daughter.
With a little bit of wriggling, Piper squeezes into the tight space between my chest and the loosened vest. She clings onto me like a baby sloth holding onto a tree branch, and I keep one arm beneath her as a perch as I carry my daughter out of the room.
She’s as light as can be, but the weight of the responsibility I carry has my heart hammering against my ribcage.
Reid’s standing guard just outside the door. “Can you fix the straps as tight as you can?” I ask, my voice deeper than usual as I pretend not to be a bumbling mess of emotion.
“Sure,” he says, and as he sets to work, Piper tilts her head up to watch him. “Hey there, Piper. I’m Reid. It might be a bit noisy out there, so I have these earplugs for you.”
The father-to-be doesn’t deserve my scowl, but he gets it anyway. I should have thought of that.
Piper lets Reid fix the earplugs in place and then we’re ready to set off. Katarina and Killian have disappeared to god knows where, but Hunter and Mace are at opposite ends of the corridor. Once we’re on the move, my three brothers fall into tight formation to cover our precious cargo.
Although Piper lifts her gaze now and again, the vest shields her from the worst of the carnage around us, and once we hit fresh air and darkness, she settles her head against my chest. I unholster a handgun and Hunter pulls a set of night vision goggles over my eyes as we pick our way back through the forest. Pops of automatic fire break the silence now and again, but mostly it’s just snapping twigs and PG rated curses when someone gets smacked by a low hanging branch.
“We’re almost there,” says Hunter. “How’s she doing?”
Piper hadn’t stopped wriggling for a while, but in the last few minutes her grip has loosened and her head has been sinking lower. “I think she’s asleep.”
“No, I’m not,” comes her muffled reply. She tips her head back to look at me.
I frown at her. “You’re supposed to be wearing earplugs. What happened?”
She quirks her lips in answer, then says, “Are you wearing night vision goggles?”
“Yes.”
“Cool.”
“Hi, there, Piper. I’m Hunter,” says my brother. “Are you sure you’re only five?”
“I’m actually five and one quarter.”
There’s rustling behind us, and Mace appears on my other side, eager to get in on the action. “I’m your Unc–”
I shoot Mace a warning glare. We haven’t got to the formal introductions yet.
“I’m Mace,” he says. “And you’re going to like me the best because I have all the cool shi– All the cool stuff.”
Headlights come to life ahead of us, lighting the way to our waiting cars. A silhouette moves through the beams, and from the way he’s hobbling, there’s only one person it can be.
“I knew you’d get her,” Jake sniffs, not holding back on the depth of emotion we’re all feeling.
Piper starts to wriggle furiously. “Is that you, Uncle Jake?”
“What the fuck?” exclaims Mace. “Why does he get to be called uncle?”
“Language,” I growl.
“He has a point,” Hunter mutters as we reach the first car. “Hey, Piper. You can call us your uncles too.”
“OK,” she says hesitantly. She arches an eyebrow at me, checking to see if I’ve noticed the new level of crazy from my brothers.
“Everyone except Ash,” Reid points out as he starts to undo the straps of my vest so we can get her in the car.
Someone pulls my vest and goggles off me while I continue to hold tight to my daughter. “What do I call you, then?” she asks.
Everyone goes quiet.
“That’s going to be for you to decide,” I tell her. “When you’re ready.”