Chapter 9
Nicolas
Before Nicolas could put his plan in motion, he needed to talk to Daniel, so he drove over to his brother’s apartment. Bracing himself, he knocked on the door and waited for him to open it.
Clad in plaid pajama pants and a white T-shirt, Daniel waved him inside.
The studio apartment smelled like fresh coffee, and he wordlessly poured Nicolas a mug before leading him to sit on the sofa.
Was it still morning? It had already been a long day, and he had a feeling it was only going to get longer.
The ache in his chest hadn’t subsided since he sent Ashmedai away.
The phantom sound of his anguished scream sent a little shiver rolling down Nicolas’s body.
He didn’t mean to hurt Ashmedai, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around ‘divine intervention.’ Nicolas was fated to be with a demon?
And not just any demon, but a sin eater.
The Sentinels, they were all with demons who could pass for human.
Nothing about Ashmedai was remotely human.
And he’d demanded that Nicolas not return to the guild.
He didn’t give a thought to the kids Sloan was holding hostage.
Wouldn’t Nicolas’s real soulmate understand why he felt compelled to help them?
So what if the sex was incredible? There was more to a relationship than good sex. He needed someone who understood and supported him. He wasn’t so sure that could be Ashmedai—even if the thought of being with anyone else felt like swallowing a razorblade.
“You look like shit,” Daniel said, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy at the first sip of coffee.
“You have a pillow crease on your face,” Nicolas shot back.
“Still look better than you. What’s up?”
Nicolas sighed. He pulled a burner phone from his pocket and handed it over. “Take this.”
Daniel peered down at it, tapping the screen to wake it up. “What is this?”
“Passcode is Mom’s birthday,” Nicolas said. He waited for Daniel to put it in, then said, “Go to the contacts.”
When he did, his eyes widened. “Holy shit. Where did you get this? Why are their names in here?”
“I got it from them. Julian called me this morning and asked to meet.” He gave Daniel a quick rundown of the conversation at the Rink about the missing kids and Sloan’s terms for their release.
“He’s kidnapped kids,” Daniel said, shell-shocked. His coffee was forgotten in his hand. “He’s holding them hostage. He really has gone off the deep end.”
“Yeah. And they’ve asked me to see if I can find out where he’s keeping them.”
“How are you planning to do that? He wouldn’t trust you with his pencil sharpener after what happened the other night.”
Nicolas winced. “I know. I’m gonna have to make him believe I’ve been converted, see if I can get close to him that way.”
Daniel gaped at him. “No way. Hell no. That’s too dangerous. What if he figures out what you’re doing?”
“He won’t. He’s egotistical. If I grovel to him, he’ll eat it up. I don’t expect him to tell me about the Alvarez kids right away, but I hope I can at least prove myself trustworthy. Maybe other people will start to talk once they see Sloan giving me a chance.”
Daniel’s brow furrowed. “But… You’ll have to be different while you’re there. You’ll have to act like them. You’ll have to be an asshole.”
This was the part Daniel wouldn’t like. “I know. That’s why… I want you to leave. Take that phone and go to the Sentinels. They’ll take you in, keep you safe.”
Daniel exploded. “No way, you’re crazy! There’s no way I’m—”
“Danny, please. I don’t want to risk them testing my loyalty by doing something to you or forcing me to.”
He wilted. “I can’t just leave you there alone.”
“I’m asking you to,” Nicolas insisted. “Seriously. If you want me to be able to do this, I need you as far from them as possible.”
Daniel huffed, leaning forward to brace his hands on his knees. His heels bounced anxiously. “I don’t want you to do this. There has to be another way.”
“There’s not. The Sentinels tried using magic to find the kids, but Sloan is using some kind of ward.”
“He’s using magic?” Daniel looked scandalized.
“Yes.”
“That’s forbidden.”
“I know.”
Daniel carded his fingers through his unruly curls. “Well, shit. Have the Sentinels tried to use magic to bypass it?”
“Yeah. They told me one of the demons tried a tracking spell, but it didn’t work.
That’s why we’ve got to try and track them down the old-fashioned way.
” Nicolas took his brother’s hand, squeezing tight, and met his eyes.
“Please, brother. Disappear. Go to the Sentinels. They’ll take care of you until I can join you. ”
Daniel’s chin jutted out, his brow dropping with stubbornness, and Nicolas didn’t have it in him to argue anymore.
Sagging forward, he pressed his forehead to the back of Daniel’s hand. “Please, Danny. Please, I can’t fight anyone else about this. Just do as I ask, I’m begging you. I need to know you’re safe, and I trust them to have your back.”
Above him, Daniel sighed heavily, fingers curling into Nicolas’s hair and massaging his scalp with more force than strictly necessary.
“I’ll need you to call me every single day and tell me you’re okay,” he said. “And what do you mean, you can’t argue with anyone else? Who did you argue with? Not the Sentinels, surely? They’re the ones who asked you to do this.”
Nicolas sat up sharply, jerking his hand away. “Um.”
Daniel’s expression sharpened. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”
He couldn’t lie to his brother. Turning sideways to press his head against the cushion on the back of the sofa, he told Daniel everything.
About Ashmedai showing up in his room last night, the incredible sex they shared, the strange connection that pulled them together.
And how Ashmedai had railed against Nicolas’s plan, so he’d sent him away.
“Oh, you’re a dumbass,” Daniel said, flapping a hand at him. “That’s not why you sent him away, and you know it.”
“What?” Nicolas squeaked.
“It was getting too real too fast. You’re thirty-two years old and you’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than six months.
Suddenly you’re told that your soulmate, basically, is this demon, and what did you immediately do?
Use his—admittedly caveman-like—behavior as an excuse to push him away. ”
Nicolas gaped. “Danny!”
“It’s true and you know it.”
“It’s not…” He scowled. “You should’ve seen him. It was like he went mad.”
“Kind of like I did?” Daniel shot back. “Nobody who cares about you wants you to go back into HQ and cozy up to Sloan and his cronies.”
“You can’t seriously be taking the sin eater’s side.”
“Why not? It sounds like he cares as much about you as I do.” Daniel folded his arms across his chest.
“He’s a demon.”
“A good demon, yes?”
“I-I don’t know. I barely know him, really.”
“You’ve had sex with him—actually who am I kidding, that’s on-brand for you.”
“Hey!” Nicolas made to stand, but Daniel snagged his wrist and dragged him back down.
“You’re scared.”
“You’re damn right I’m scared!” How did they even start talking about this?
This was the last thing he wanted to talk about.
The fight with Ashmedai was still too raw.
He couldn’t sort out his feelings about the demon right now.
He was a monster, but he made Nicolas feel things. Incredible things. Dangerous things.
“Okay, I get it,” Daniel relented magnanimously. “You need to be stupid about it for a while.”
Nicolas groaned, flopping back against the cushion. “I’m not being stupid. He’s a demon, okay? Like a real, black-skinned, hooded, glowing eyes demon. He’s not like the halflings. And I’m supposed to believe he and I are fated to be together?”
“But you like him,” Daniel said.
Nicolas sagged. Yeah, he did. That was maybe the scariest thing of all.
Instinctively, from the moment they’d met, a part of Nicolas had trusted him.
Even after watching Ashmedai slaughter his entire squad, he didn’t run or fight.
He hadn’t felt the urge to. He’d known he should, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to. He couldn’t explain it.
“Is it really so bad that he’s… I don’t know, more demonic than the other demons?”
Yes. But only because Nicolas couldn’t admit how thrilling that made it.
“It doesn’t matter. I need to focus on the job I’m about to be doing. How can I pretend to hate demons in front of Sloan and the others if I’m—screwing one when I leave HQ?” He flushed at the words, but it was true.
“It’s called acting,” Daniel drawled. “Lying, one might say.”
Nicolas rolled his eyes. “I hate you.”
“You love me.”
“I do, but damn.” Daniel gave him no quarter when he thought he was being stupid, and somehow he always said the things Nicolas needed to hear the most—and hated to hear the most. He didn’t know how he did it, but it wasn’t fair. There was some kind of cheating involved, he was sure.
“Just—” Daniel patted his arm. “Don’t shut him down just because you’re scared of how fast things are moving. It sounds like this demon doesn’t understand humans very well, so he’s definitely not going to understand your commitment issues.”
“I don’t have commitment—” At Daniel’s flat look, he stopped.
Nicolas sighed. They didn’t have the best home life growing up.
Dad steamrolled over everything Mom wanted for them, training them to be soldiers despite her wishes that they would go into a softer field serving the Lord.
He remembered a lot of yelling growing up, a lot of hissed arguments happening over his and Daniel’s heads when they were in the same room.
Maybe it messed with his perception of relationships a little bit.
His knee-jerk reaction to Ashmedai telling him what to do had been to rebel.
He’d sworn a long time ago that he’d never let anyone treat him the way Dad treated Mom.
Danny was right; Ashmedai wouldn’t understand that.