Chapter 19
Nicolas
There were no lights on in the apartment, but early morning sunlight snuck around the curtains on either side of his bed, giving Nicolas just enough illumination to see as Ashmedai’s clever fingers slowly worked the buttons of his shirt open.
Inch after inch of ink-black skin was revealed, and Nicolas longed to reach out and touch.
But not yet. Ashmedai wanted to show himself, and Nicolas would let him go at the speed he wanted.
The boots went next, kicked off easily enough due to the elastic on the side. He wore no socks underneath, and Nicolas’s eyes caught on his toes. They were mostly human looking, with five on each foot, but the nails were black and pointed.
His chest was bare now, and Nicolas’s eyes greedily drank in the sight.
He had no nipples or belly button. His stomach was covered in segmented, black ridges that reminded Nicolas of big scales in the shape of abdominal muscles.
But there were more of them, going up his chest and expanding across his sides and ribs.
When he pushed his black jeans down, he revealed more down the outside of his hips and thighs.
They were smaller there, each segment about the size of a thumbprint.
He wondered if they were tougher than his regular skin, like natural armor.
The seam between his legs was barely visible. Nicolas wanted to touch the velvety skin, see how quickly he could coax his length out. He swallowed hard and tore his gaze away. There would be time for that later.
He lifted his gaze and found Ashmedai watching him look his fill. His face was still hidden, and his chest rose and fell quickly, his fists clenching and loosening by his sides. He was nervous.
Nicolas inched closer, giving in to the urge to lay his hands on the dark expanse of Ashmedai’s smooth chest. He trailed his fingers across his abdominal segments, and yes, they felt as hard as they looked.
Like blackened bone. He let his fingers wander down, stopping just shy of his seam and wandering back up, over his sides, and then up, into the dark recesses of his hood to cradle his face.
“Can I?” he asked, touching the hood.
Ashmedai inhaled slowly, and then tilted his head down. Nicolas reverently pushed the fabric back, gliding his fingers down Ashmedai’s neck to push the coat and shirt from his shoulders.
And then he was fully bare for the very first time.
Nicolas’s mouth was dry with nerves as glowing marigold eyes met his.
Ashmedai’s thin black lips were slightly parted, revealing pale, pointed teeth.
He had mostly no nose, just two little slits in the center of his face and two small ridges of cartilage above each, reminding him of a snake.
His ears were small and pointed, and his eyes…
They were extraordinary. The orange, circular irises were the only spots of color.
Where a human had white sclera, Ashmedai’s was solid black, like his pupil.
His cheeks were hollowed, his head bald.
His stomach turned at the vulnerability he saw there, and he was struck with such a powerful urge to protect that it took his breath away. He leaned in, cradling Ashmedai’s exposed face, and whispered, “My God, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
Ashmedai’s spine straightened, and long fingers wrapped around Nicolas’s wrist. “What?”
“Yeah,” Nicolas whispered. No one could compare. There was literally no one on Earth like Ashmedai. He could scarcely believe that he trusted Nicolas enough to be this vulnerable around him, but he wouldn’t take it for granted.
Everything he’d felt, all the worries about whether he could have a future with a sin eater and if they had anything in common besides sex, they all fell away.
He couldn’t doubt Ashmedai’s feelings for him when he was baring himself for Nicolas like this.
Yes, their relationship would be more complicated than some, but very few things worth doing were easy.
Ashmedai was taking a leap for him, and his heart swelled to twice its normal size in response.
It felt as though his whole body was rearranging itself to make room for Ashmedai in his heart.
Wrapping his arms around Ashmedai’s neck, he kissed him as their bodies lined up from chest to knee.
The sensation of that hot skin against his own sent a shudder of anticipation down Nicolas’s spine.
Ashmedai’s rangy arms curled around him, squeezing him tight, and Nicolas let his hands explore.
One palm smoothed down Ashmedai’s spine, where he found more of those armored segments, bigger and thicker.
Ashmedai’s body was like a furnace, hot enough that Nicolas would call him feverish if he were human.
He tore his mouth away, wanting to speak before he got lost in the desire building between them. “Thank you for letting me see you, Ash. I’m so glad you trust me this much.”
“I shouldn’t have worried,” Ashmedai said.
“I feel like it’s my fault,” Nicolas said. “I was worried about everything in the beginning. I made things harder than they needed to be—”
“Ours was always going to be an unusual union,” Ashmedai interrupted softly. “Human and demon.”
“The others have made it work just fine,” Nicolas argued.
Ashmedai shook his head. “Those demons pass for human. They can go out in public. They can be seen with their humans.”
“That doesn’t matter.” He was surprised by the venom in his own voice, because it wasn’t so long ago that he had similar thoughts. He hadn’t been able to see past their differences at first. He couldn’t pinpoint when his feelings had changed.
“Doesn’t it?” Ashmedai tilted his head, studying him.
Nicolas cradled his face. It was becoming his new favorite thing to do. He liked the way his fingers looked on Ashmedai’s cheeks and jaw, the contrast between his deep black skin and Nicolas’s warm brown.
“Maybe at first,” he allowed. “Maybe when we first met, I cared about being able to go out on public dates or take a trip to IKEA together. But you know what? My parents could do those things, and their relationship was a sham. He walked all over her. She let him, because the church teaches a woman to stand behind her man. It’s all bullshit.
They never looked forward to seeing each other the way I look forward to the sun going down so I can see you.
They never wanted to talk about their day with each other, never fell asleep in each other’s arms, never made plans for the future.
You’re all I can think about, Ash. You’re all I can see in my future.
So what if we can’t go out in public together?
Everybody who matters already knows you’re mine.
Daniel, Julian, the rest of the Sentinels.
I don’t have to keep you a secret from anyone who matters to me.
And just you wait until Halloween. I’ll take you walking down the boardwalk.
You’ll have the coolest costume in the city. ”
Ashmedai chuffed out a laugh, his eyes crinkling. His mouth stretched so wide it almost touched his ears, setting his rows of sharp teeth on display.
“We can have whatever future we want,” Nicolas said. “And—apparently—it could be quite a long one.” Because if he drank Ashmedai’s blood, he could be immortal.
Claws tickled the side of his face, Ashmedai’s gaze soft and earnest. “Would you want that? It would mean outliving Daniel.”
A distant pain lurched through him at the notion. “I-I don’t know. I like the idea of living forever with you. But I don’t like thinking about existing without my brother—or him going on without me. That’s why I asked you to watch out for him if something happens to me.”
Ashmedai nodded in understanding.
“Watching him grow old might not be so bad. Especially if he got to live a long, full life. He deserves that. God, what if he had kids? And grandkids? I could just keep going, watch his family line go on. That wouldn’t be so bad.
” His distant gaze refocused on Ashmedai, and he smiled.
“And I’d get to be with you, of course.”
“There’s no need for a decision yet,” Ashmedai said, bodily turning them and backing Nicolas toward the bed. “I can wait.”
He spun Nicolas around and shoved him face-first onto the bed. His moan got trapped in his throat when Ashmedai gripped the fabric of his underwear and ripped. He gasped, twisting around to look behind him.
“Did you just rip a hole in my boxers?” The question was unnecessary. He could feel air on his exposed ass. It wasn’t a big rip, really, just strategically placed.
Ashmedai loomed over him like a predator about to pounce, hands planted on either side of him and his wide, grinning mouth full of dark promise.
“Yes. For this.” Claws pricked his bottom as Ashmedai pried his cheeks apart and leaned in, licking a stripe up Nicolas’s crack.
He shuddered, hands twisting in the blanket.
Claws scraped up and down his back as Ashmedai ate him, sucking and licking and kneading until he could press that long tongue inside.
By the time it was moving in and out of him, he was panting, the blanket shoved in his mouth so his neighbors wouldn’t hear him beg.
Ashmedai knew his body better than he knew it himself, knew how to stroke his insides to make sparks explode under his skin and how to hold him down until he gave up all hope of control.
He was nothing but sensation, carried away by gentle claws and mind-numbing pleasures.
He barely moved when Ashmedai finally released him. Hovering on the brink of orgasm, he gulped down greedy lungfuls of air as Ashmedai climbed over him.
And flipped him. One minute he was staring at the wall, and then he was looking straight up at Ashmedai. Awareness returned to him as he gazed into those burning orange eyes. His legs settled comfortably around Ashmedai’s waist, ankles linking together at the small of his back.