Chapter 18 #2
“That’s what I’m thinking, too,” Sofia chimes in. She lifts her face up from her phone, then briefly glances at Aashiq before turning back to me. “So, how’s your writing going?”
My finger freezes on the screen. “What?”
“I mean, have you been doing any writing lately?” She pours herself a cup of water. “You seemed kind of embarrassed when we first talked about it, but it really is so impressive.”
“Oh, uh…” I run my tongue along the back of my teeth. “I haven’t written anything in a while. But I did join a pottery class recently. That’s been fun.”
“I love pottery!” Stella gushes. She tilts her head to the side. “Well, I’m not very good at it, but I keep going back, because how else am I going to get better?”
“True,” I say. “Actually, I was thinking of—”
“Enough with the chitchat,” Faye cuts in, fluttering her hands as if waving the words out of the air. She rests her arms on the table and leans in. “So, what’s going on with you and Aashiq?”
This time, my phone slips from my hands and onto the table.
“What?!” I hiss, and I sneak a peek over at Aashiq, who thankfully seems to be locked in a conversation with Eugene and Colin about a client they’ve been having a hard time with.
His brow is creased, but for the first time, I can’t tell why.
Usually, I’m able to read his expressions extremely well—partly because he can’t hide anything, but I think it also has to do with the whole “he’s a part of me” thing.
I return my attention to Faye, and now Stella and Sofia are also staring at me expectantly.
My cheeks warm. “Nothing’s going on with us. ”
“He’s like, always by your side,” Stella states.
“Because he’s shadowing me,” I retort. “You know, so he can see if being a legal secretary is something he wants to do.”
“No offense to him, but even if it’s something he wants to do, he’s probably not going to be very successful at it,” Sofia points out. “He’s been taught to use the printer more than once, and he still can’t get it right.”
“He still tries , though,” I defend. “He may not be getting the hang of it, but that hasn’t stopped him from going for it.”
“Fair,” Faye says. “But none of this explains the way he’s always staring at you, especially when you’re not paying attention.”
If my face felt like a warm ember before, now it feels like a blazing inferno. “Wait—how does he look at me?”
“Like…” Stella taps her chin. “Like you’ve got the stars in your eyes and he can’t believe he’s lucky enough to get to see them so clearly.”
My jaw slackens. “Wow, that’s…” I swallow the lump growing in the back of my throat “…a really good description,” I settle on instead.
Stella brightens. “Hey, that’s great praise from the writer!” She lifts a shoulder. “Maybe I’ll get into writing, too.”
I don’t know how to tell her that trying to publish is like getting your lungs crushed, so instead I laugh weakly. “Yeah, definitely. It’s a lot of fun.” At least that part is…mostly true.
“But seriously…” Faye brings the conversation back around. “How do you feel about him? Is there—” she wiggles her fingers at me “—anything there?”
I turn back toward Aashiq. He’s watching Colin intently, but there’s something off about him.
It’s like he’s not entirely paying attention to what Colin’s saying, but he’s clearly still watching him.
Colin suddenly shifts, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. Aashiq moves, too, awkwardly maneuvering his arms to copy Colin’s pose.
Even from this side of the table, I can tell Aashiq hasn’t been speaking much.
I wonder if he feels like he doesn’t have anything to contribute to the conversation.
It’s odd. A silent Aashiq is a weird one.
“He’s…a really good person,” I start. “He’s done a lot to help me at work, even if he’s not actually helping me.
Having him there as a support, or even just trying to support, is a gift.
Whether he’s taking on smaller tasks, or encouraging me, or even just reminding me to take a break to eat—” the corner of my lips perk up “—he’s…
he’s been a great addition to the office. ”
“That much we can agree on,” Sofia says.
“He’s brightened the place up in a way I can’t explain.
It felt kind of dull before. Don’t get me wrong, I love my work, but it’s…
work. Sometimes it just feels like a thing I do because I need money.
But to see him so passionate about what he does, even if it’s just greeting clients and making sure they have all their needs attended to, it makes me think I should have more of an appreciation for my job.
” She shakes her head. “Like, it makes me stop and think how I love what I do. And I’m so lucky to be doing a job I love, where I feel fulfilled and where I can help people.
And that’s a privilege not everyone gets. ”
Sofia has a point. Aashiq helped me realize I don’t want to give up on writing, and his passion about helping me makes me excited to get back to it, too.
I don’t know necessarily how it’s going to happen yet, because I haven’t been writing, but the mini exercises and other venues of art have really been helping.
And on top of that, I also have a job I love.
Sure, there’s more I want to achieve—I still want to explore becoming a lawyer, but I do love the office.
I love sitting behind the desk and fielding information.
I love that my job means I work in all areas of the firm, not just one section.
It’s like I have one toe dipped in each department, and that’s more fun than just being proficient in one area.
Plus, Aashiq has helped me open up to my coworkers in a way I didn’t think was possible. He’s cracked open my shell, and I’m crawling my way out, eager to see the sun.