Chapter 20
Madden
SHE GOES FOR his legs again, shoving down on his shoulder when he leans over from the pretend impact this move would have in a normal situation.
Aero falls to the ground and instructs her how to end him, or anyone who would attack her here.
I’ve seen this a million times in what is starting to feel like a different life and still, every time I hate it when her hands touch him.
My jaw clenches tighter when he moves her body closer or pushes her farther away.
A dark tingling sensation runs down my spine, and my shadows threaten to intervene and stop him from being so close to her.
“I thought you said you could handle this.” Heath drops his voice lower when he comes to stand next to me.
I thought so too. My eyes flick over him, taking in the sweat dripping down his torso.
He already spent forty-eight minutes and ten seconds grappling with her, showing her defensive moves from a prone position.
I only survived that by reminding myself over and over that he’s my brother.
We’re related by blood. I could not kill him.
“I am handling it. That’s why you’re here,” I remind him, my eyes narrowing when Aero turns Skully’s back to his front and his arm wraps around her from behind. I step forward on instinct until my brother laughs under his breath.
“You’re handling it alright,” Heath comments, and I hear him blow out an irritated breath. “Last time this didn’t work because you physically couldn’t bring yourself to hurt her.”
Skully’s body thuds to the ground in the next instant, and I about crush my molars together, holding still instead of punching Aero across the jaw. “She’s being trained. That’s all that matters.”
“Madd, this is just like the last time, whether you want to admit it or not. Eventually, things are going to unravel,” he warns me, low, guarded, just between us.
Heath walks away, back to the fray of helping Aero teach situations that may arise while guarding the Gate.
Still, I force myself to stand off to the side, observing, critiquing, and planning every hit I’ll return on my best friend after he’s done with her.
He knows it too. I can see the way his chin dips at me out of respect before he does something he knows I won’t like, but that is necessary.
Thankfully it isn’t as bad as before. I wonder if Skully even recognizes that she’s moving not out of instinct but out of practiced muscle memory.
Her body remembers how to fight, how to defend herself, even if her mind can’t fill in the blanks.
Another hour passes before Aero and Heath trade places again, this time with my brother working with her on using her magic to check protection shields.
Aero swipes his hair back with a sweatband, the usual curl of his hair now damp.
He eyes me cautiously before grabbing the water bottle at my feet.
“How much pain will I be in after this?”
My brow rises at the question; yet, my gaze never leaves them.
I don’t even know what to tell Aero at this point.
I’ve never understood the pull to Skully that festers under my skin or the need I have to protect her even after everything she’s done.
Last time it was different, simpler. She dropped into my family and I fell for her. She was mine. Until she wasn’t.
My neck cracks as I tip my head side to side. Emotions war within me and I can’t even force myself to look at him right now to answer. “Not more than you can handle.”
Aero scoffs and shakes his head. “You still can’t hurt her. Physically anyway. Madd, that means something. I know you didn’t want to hear about it then but you have to face it this time. You know what it could mean.”
“It means she’s got a hot face and a banging body,” I clip out, feeling everything inside of me turn to stone with those harsh words. “I know what she’s really like, Aero. More than anyone, more than she does. Skully Morgan is poison. I let her get under my skin before and she betrayed me.”
His gaze flicks back and forth between me and her, his forehead lined with confusion.
“Did she though?” I scoff, and he holds up his hands in front of his body.
“I mean it, Madd. Did she? There was a lot happening at that time. But the girl I knew was just as twisted up in you as you were in her. Did she betray you or did you only see what you wanted to? Maybe what someone else wanted you to.”
“I’m doing a patrol,” I announce, backing away from Aero and backing away from the scene in front of me.
He doesn’t know and he doesn’t get it. This is the part of the weight I carry as the leader, as the next to the council.
I let myself be swayed by her before and I paid for it.
I made a decision that would impact us all and I can’t let myself regret that choice.
If I was wrong then all that means was that I was betrayed on another level altogether, one that would be more damning than the hell I already live in.
Everything in me wants Skully, but I’m strong enough not to fall for it again.
She won’t be the reason I lose control of everything we’ve worked hard to build, of the future where we take over permanently.
Eyes are forever watching in River Falls.
Nothing goes unnoticed, and everything is reported back to him, to the council.
Everyone here is lost, confused and being misled by the very people who have sworn to protect them.
I wasn’t angry last night at Skully for bringing up the Nexa.
I was fearful of prying ears hearing her talk about it.
Terrified that she would disappear like everyone else who’s questioned Gavin since the blast. Skully doesn’t know her father.
Not the real him. Not the man who hides behind a mask, lies and betrays for his own gain.
The man who is so power hungry he’s stealing what isn’t his to create an empire that shouldn’t exist. We’re so close to becoming full strength.
Our plan is close to being carried out. The Dark Protector Council will soon have no other choice but to admit defeat and be destroyed.
As reapers, we may be more powerful, but everyone should be treated equally.
That is the process that has kept us living in harmony for years.
It is the golden rule that has previously kept the Gate secured and the Haven safe.
If the Nexa is back, if she exists at all, Gavin will be searching for her.
If he can’t possess her powers, he’ll find a way to manipulate the situation.
Having the Nexa at your side is the equivalent of being the most powerful of all paranormals, of all living beings.
Even the angels and the demons of the Shade are wary of what this could mean if it’s real.
And judging by the activity at the Gate and the holes being punched into the Haven, everyone is willingly testing the boundary to find out the truth.
The blast, the rumored powerful being, are just more layers of complications.
By the time I make it back to the front entrance of the cemetery, Heath, Aero and Skully are all drinking from water bottles.
Even from a distance, I can hear their laughter.
I watch her smile, her eyes lighting up in a way that never happens around me.
Worse, I can see the way Heath takes it in, some of the barriers he’s created fall.
The same with Aero. He’s watching her as if she’s the best friend he remembers.
Like she’s theirs again. Like she belongs with us, the missing piece of a puzzle that makes us whole.
My jaw grinds, my vision starts to edge to blackness.
My chest heaves as I struggle to pull in air, to breath in and out, past the involuntary jab of pain between my ribs.
My hands ache to touch her while my gut recoils, knowing I don’t deserve to with everything between us still.
The shadows of my power leak out, surrounding me, suffocating and punishing the more I keep fighting against the bond that pulls me toward her.
Mate.
My soul mate, and she doesn’t know it.
Then again, she was never mine. She was always his.
My arms cut through the water with practiced precision.
Each glide of my hands pushing further and further until I reach the bottom.
My lungs burn but I power through it. Under the water is the only place I can regain control.
It’s the only time my power reconnects with my body and settles again.
When it stops fighting against me. It’s the only time my world is silent except for my heartbeat in my ears.
The rush of adrenaline is there so close to the brush of my deadly side.
This is the only time I can refocus and push down the demons that rise in my chest after too much time spent with Skully.
I left the Gate. I left my post. Something I’ve never done.
I left her in the hands of the two people I trust most in the world because I needed to get my shit back in line.
Seeing them all together did something to me; it tore a fragment of the image I’ve projected on them and on myself.
This life was never supposed to be this way.
I can’t go back and change what happened.
I need to be stronger and prepare for what’s to come.
I need to be the ruler they’re depending on.
My chest eventually loosens. My limbs get heavy and my thoughts start to get murky.
The shadows settle, humming gently under my skin once again.
My eyes open under the water, feeling the sting of the chlorine, and my mouth opens, silently screaming the rage and tension away while my body slowly floats back up to the surface.
All the brokenness I felt is lost in the buoyancy of the water instead of loudly being expressed in the open air.
I break the surface, taking deep gulps of air, blinking until my eyes clear.