Chapter 22 #3
“Depends on what you’re talking about.” His voice is smooth, but I can hear an underlying uncertainty in his words that pierce my heart.
I hold up our conjoined hands. “This. And the fact that you’ve kissed me twice now after everything that’s happened this year. I want to know what you actually want from me.”
“I know you feel it, Skully. You may have been gone for two years, you may not remember me or us, but I can tell your body feels something,” he answers, his intense stare overwhelms me.
I have to look away in order to give my heart a chance to calm down from thrashing in my chest. “Maybe. I might feel something.”
Madden shifts so he’s standing in front of me again, his hands automatically winding around my waist and pulling my body into his.
I hate how natural it feels, how responsive my body is to a single touch and the possessive way his eyes darken when he looks down at me.
His gaze is penetrating, fighting to break down the wall I’ve built over the time we’ve been apart.
One of his hands comes up to wrap around the side of my neck, forcing my head to tilt back, relaxing into his hold.
My eyes close when he leans forward, dragging his lips gently over the sensitive skin on my neck before pressing his lips to where my pulse beats wildly.
He groans as if the feeling excites him before sliding his mouth across my jaw.
My hands come up, one tangling in his messy hair, and the other gripping the top of his shoulder.
Madden practically growls, pulling back from me and grasping my face in both of his hands.
“If you thought you could run from me, then you haven’t been paying attention, Angel,” he rasps out, gathering me as close to him as physically possible. “This goes beyond just a feeling.”
His words should cause panic or at the very least a sense of foreboding, considering we’ve been at each other since the moment of our run-in on campus. In all honesty, since the moment he was next to me when I woke up in the hospital.
“I thought I was just a spoiled, hot-headed, ugly, desperate bitch,” I remind him, my tongue running along my lips. “Not anymore? Now that you think you can just kiss me again. I suddenly don’t, what did you say, lie and cause destruction?”
Scoffing, I push out of Madden’s arms, walking away before I cause any more damage to myself. He may be right, I do have feelings around him, my magic craves being near him, but I can’t unhear what he said to me. The very low opinion he had of me.
I don’t get far before Madden is next to me, scooping me up and carrying me over to the lone willow tree in the cemetery.
“You want me to lie to you? I won’t. You were all those things, especially to me.
I can talk until I’m blue in the face about why, but you don’t remember.
Now, though, this version of you. I’m addicted to her.
I’ve always been possessive of you, Skully, to the point that I was driving myself mad back then. ”
“Well, good thing we broke up then,” I huff, shoving away from him again, my arms folding in front of my chest.
Madden shakes his head, his ink black hair falling into his eyes. “We never broke up, Angel. Not officially. You just don’t remember.”
“Then why would you say that?” I gasp, feelings of hurt and longing rise up in my chest and squeeze around my heart.
His hands grip my arms, and he pulls my body into his. I struggle, but he holds on, letting me feel every hard plane of his chest and torso. Madden grabs my hand and places it over his chest right where his heart beat is thrashing under my palm. “To push you away. To make you feel how I felt.”
Tears burn my eyes, threatening to spill over and onto my cheeks. I refuse to cry in front of him, not again. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I can’t push you away anymore, Angel. Memories or not, I can’t stay away from you.
I was never able to, and I don’t give a fuck about trying to or not.
You chose me.” His fingers grip my chin, bringing my face toward his.
Our gazes collide, and for the first time I see the rush of his emotions staring back at me. “You chose me this time.”
The moment is ruined by a shrill vibration, his phone buzzing in his pocket. Madden exhales loudly, his forehead dropping to mine. His hand falls from my chin, and I feel as he reaches for his phone.
“What?”
“Head over to the far east side. Things are quiet tonight.” Heath’s voice says over the line.
Madden’s eyes meet mine, asking for permission, approval, or checking to see how I feel about leaving things this way. In all honesty, I need a break. I need space to think over the truths he dropped on me today. I nod my head back.
“We’ll head over.”
Madden hangs up and repockets his phone.
Once he steps back from me, I gulp in a breath of the frigid fall air and let it burn my lungs.
Without speaking, since we both seem to be emotionally wrung out, Madden takes my hand in his, and we start walking.
The rest of the night falls into the same pattern.
Madden and I barely speak, but move as one constantly.
After meeting up with Aero and Heath, we all head home.
I volunteer to use my reaper shimmer, but Madden insists on taking me back.
The drive is just like before, except this time my insides are quiet.
My heart beats normal, comfortable, basking in Madden’s presence.
When he drops me off, he opens my door and presses a light kiss on my forehead.
Again, no words, no promises or declarations.
There’s nothing else we can say right now.
I need time, and he seems to process that without me having to say it.
Right as I step inside the front door and lock it behind me, my phone vibrates twice.
Pulling it out of my pocket, I notice two new messages.
My eyes widen, and my fingers grip the phone until they turn white.
UNKNOWN: We’re heading out of town for a meet tomorrow, Angel. I won’t be around so don’t worry about going to the Gate.
UNKNOWN: You made the wrong choice.