Chapter 33 #2
I squeeze my thighs together, doing everything I can to deny him access to me. I try to pull away, but his hold forces me to stay beneath him. “You’ll like this, Cat.” His words drip with satisfaction. “You’ll beg for it. Just like you did with him.”
My anger is replaced with fear. I’m almost broken and my mind is teetering on the edge of surrender. My body aches under Fenris’ weight and every part of me screams to give up—to let it happen, to let him have his way. Just get it over with.
But then I feel a subtle shift in the air, a sharp glint of something just beyond my reach. My eyes snap to my side, under the couch—the ram’s horn. There’s an energy filling the room and a voice that doesn’t sound like mine calls to me. Do it. Do it now.
I slowly reach out to grab the ram’s horn, the jagged edge of it pressing into my palm. My fingers wrap around it, the brutal weapon now in my grasp. Fenris doesn’t notice. He’s too focused on breaking me, too dead set on making sure that I’m too weak to fight back.
But I’m not weak. I never was.
In a flash I twist my body, getting the leverage needed. The material of my torn pants bites into my skin as I garner every ounce of power and strength I have left to drive the horn into Fenris’ side. The sickening crunch vibrates through my hand as it tears through his flesh.
He roars, letting out a strangled cry. The surprise of being caught off guard causes his grip to loosen for a moment, and it’s just enough time for me to be able to push him off.
He stumbles back, his eyes widening with shock as I scramble to my feet.
My legs are weak but I won’t let him take me down again.
Him or anyone else. I won’t stop. The curved bone in my hands has become an extension of my rage, my despair; everything that has ever been ripped from me and the girl from the screen. A scream erupts as I stab him again.
And again.
And again.
The sound of the horn slicing through him fills the room. Fenris’ hands reach for me, but I’m already straddling his body. Blood pours from his wounds as my mind begins to fray. “I’m not yours or anyone else’s to use, and I never will be.” I don’t think. I don’t feel. I just move.
My chest is tight with the weight of everything that has led me here, and every stab is like a release. I feel the blood on my hands and arms, staining my skin, but I don’t stop. The edges of my world blurs and everything goes quiet, except for one question.
Was I just a pawn in some twisted game of Zed’s, one he never meant for me to win? Was I anything other than a means to an end?
The music begins to slow, sounding more demonic the slower the needle spins around the record.
Run—stab.
Run—pull out.
Run—stab.
It goes quiet, the crackle from the record player the only sound in the room now.
The body beneath me stills. I lose track of how many times I’ve stabbed him, how much of him I’ve torn apart. The world fades and all I can hear is my own pulse, my own fury, my own emptiness. I release the ram’s horn and fall back. My backside lands in a pool of now-tacky blood.
I use the couch to help pull myself to my feet and scan the room, finding a shiny object on Fenris’ desk.
I walk over knowing I need to have a weapon, small enough to be discreet, if I want any chance of getting out of here alive.
What I thought was a letter opener turns out to be a knife.
It’s cold and solid in my hand as I wrap my fingers around its handle and feel the intricate metal carvings raised, looping patterns press into my palm.
Some edges are worn smooth, others still catch against my skin.
I walk back and step over Fenris, his eyes flutter, but if there’s any life left in him, it’s on its way out. All of a sudden the door bursts open and Harold rushes through. His eyes go wide, pure terror flashing across his face when he runs to Fenris and falls to his knees beside him.
The anger on his face is something I never expected to see. It doesn’t seem directed at me, but nothing makes much sense right now. “Did he hurt you?” His words are measured and calm.
Is he asking to see if it was self-defense? To see if he could maneuver around the truth so he can kill me? Is he wanting to know my story so he can interrogate me on it? Bait me? I’m given a split second to analyze why he’d be worried about me.
I trip over my reply. “Yes.” He looks down at Fenris’ body.
“We need to get you out.”
He comes toward me and I hold my hands up and try to protest. “Ple-please he was r…”
“Quiet,” he says, looking back at the door.
He walks to a closet and pulls out some jeans that look like they’re two sizes too big, but I can’t be picky right now.
He tosses them to me and I put them on. I feel like I’m swimming in them, as expected.
The combination of pure terror and leftover adrenaline cause my body to shake.
“Catarina, I’m not going to hurt you… you have to go. ”
I start crying. “Go? Where will I go? What do you mean? Zedediah—”
He cuts me off. “You don’t have time for any of that. It’s time to go. Now. If you do not do exactly what I say, I cannot guarantee you will make it out safely. Do you understand?”
I nod. Harold walks over to Fenris’ desk, fidgeting with something.
Suddenly a loud alarm begins blaring and I shutter before raising my voice as he makes his way back over to me.
“You could’ve warned me!” He doesn’t pay my outburst any attention, instead he places his hand on my shoulder, causing me to wince at his touch.
He frowns at me, sadness floods his eyes as he removes his hand.
“You will keep your head down, and follow me. I’m going to take you to the barn.
I’ve signaled an emergency lockdown. All of the attention will be on securing the inside of the premises before the men work their way outside.
When you hear the third alarm you’ll have exactly ten minutes to run into the woods. In the woods there’s a graveyard—”
I interrupt his directions. “With the shed.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Zed took me there,” I say. Last night, I don’t add. I just look down at the floor when he shakes his head.
“We have to go now, I need you to follow me.” Can I trust him? No. But what’s the alternative?
“What about Zed?” His name leaves my lips and I think about Fenris’ words. The doubt, the fear.
“This is much bigger than him. Even Zedediah won’t be able to help you, Catarina. You have two choices. Follow me and have the opportunity to be safe, or—”
“Or what? I’ll be killed?” My mouth closes with the sharp sound of my teeth hitting each other when he answers.
“They’ll do much worse than kill you.” And with that he grabs my wrist and pulls me into him. “Please, just follow me.” I inhale a deep breath, look into his stare, and what I see makes my body run cold.
He looks afraid. Of what? I’m not sure. He turns and bolts, pulling me behind him.
As we walk, his arm is out like he’s shielding me.
He turns to look back at me. “Take them off.” I look at him confused and he points to my shoes.
I’ve been so detached I didn’t notice the loud clicks bouncing off the floor.
I take them off, holding them in my hands as he quietly moves through the estate like a snake.
Slithering his neck around corners, hugging tight to the wall.
I shiver when the cold from outside bites my face since I’m not really dressed for this. He picks up speed as we close in on the barn around the final corner.
The door creaks as he ushers me in. The only light shining through is of the moon.
I see the seriousness in his stare and the sadness once again.
He continues his instructions once the door to the barn closes.
“Once you make it to the shed, I need you to stay put. I will alert someone of where you’re waiting.
They’ll be there within an hour once I’ve sent the message. ”
He takes my hand in his, and I don’t feel the urge to pull away until I remember watching him help bring Lucy to the table.
He must see the look in my eyes change. “I’m sorry, Catarina.
I’m sorry for everything.” His voice sounds dry and painful, like he’s holding back tears.
He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Take care of yourself.”
Before he turns around and walks toward the door, he stops to look back at me. “Remember, when you hear the third alarm, you have ten minutes.” Then, Harold disappears into the dark.