Chapter 1 #4
Logan swallowed hard, acutely aware of the invitation layered in her words.
No, he didn’t want to go in; he wanted to run, not from her, but from the life he had returned to.
His heart ached for the world he had left behind, the one filled with sunlit beaches and an exhilarating freedom that now felt like a distant dream.
“No,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “Tonight was just for catching up.”
Sandy nodded, a blush creeping into her cheeks, and for a moment, he thought he had said the right thing.
“I’ll call you,” he promised as she stepped out of the car. He drove away, the weight of his decision pressing down on him, like water filling a sinking ship.
Five days home, and each had dragged him further beneath the surface, until he moved through the hours as though underwater, unable to break back into the air.
Pulling over to the side of the road, he reached for his phone, fighting against the urge that had haunted him since his return. He opened the Facebook app, scanning through posts that felt irrelevant, only searching for one name.
Typing it out, he hesitated, anger rising as he deleted the letters again and again. The frustration boiled over; he slammed his fist against the steering wheel, letting out a roar that echoed in the stillness of the car.
“Damn it!” he yelled, despair flooding his heart.
He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the memories wash over him. When he opened them again, he faced the man everyone expected him to be, but he knew it was a lie. He could never be the same.
He tossed the phone aside and shifted the car into gear, driving away from the memories that haunted him. The city blurred around him, lights and cars and people going about, unaware of the misery he felt.
As he pulled into his parents’ driveway, Logan inhaled deeply, steeling himself for what lay ahead.
The front door creaked open, and he was enveloped by the comforting aroma of baked goods wafting through the air.
His mother’s warm smile greeted him, a beacon of familiarity in the chaos of his thoughts.
Yet, despite the warmth of the moment, a sense of unease lingered in his chest. His current mood felt anything but hospitable.
The relentless buzz of their concern gnawed at him, amplifying his need for space.
He reminded himself that finding an apartment should be his priority now; solitude was a luxury he craved, far removed from the prying eyes of those who only wanted to help.
“Well?” she prompted; her eyes bright with anticipation, before backing away to the large kitchen.
“I think it went well,” Logan replied, closing the door behind him as he approached her in the kitchen.
“That’s good to hear. I like Sandy,” she said, and he hugged her, planting a kiss on her cheek.
“Logan, is everything alright?” she asked, setting down a bowl of fruit she had been preparing for a cake.
“Yeah, why?”
“You seem a bit off… probably just jet lag,” she reassured him or herself, brushing her hand gently across his cheek. “I like your haircut, it suits you.”
“Yeah?”
“My boy, you’re handsome no matter what,” she said, returning to her task. “By the way, you have a surprise in your room.”
“What?” His heart leaped.
“I’m not allowed to say—”
Before she could finish, he dashed up the stairs, a thrill pulsing through him with each hurried step. A small, reckless part of him dared to hope—foolishly, hopelessly hoping—that maybe, just maybe…
“Logan,” he heard, but disappointment hit him like a wave.
Never mind that Adrian had no idea where he lived, or that they were worlds apart, or that he’d severed every last thread connecting them—still, somewhere deep down, he clung to the foolish, fragile hope that Adrian might be waiting there, against all reason.
“It’s just you,” he muttered, his voice deflated as he faced his older sister, Jane.
“Wow… you’re not happy to see me,” she pouted, feigning offense.
“No, no! Of course I’m happy to see you! It’s just… Mom told me I had a surprise,” he replied, forcing a smile. “Heard you’re pregnant.”
“Yeah,” she beamed. “I wanted to surprise you, but Mom told me you went out with… what’s her name? Sally?”
“Her name is Sandy,” he corrected, “and you know it.”
“Yeah, whatever. I don’t like her,” Jane declared, plopping onto his bed. “I wanted to hear how your trip was.”
“That explains why Mom is making a cake in the middle of the night,” he quipped, kicking off his shoes. “My trip was fine. Boy or girl?” he asked, glancing at her belly.
“Don’t know yet,” she replied, smiling. “I want to hear stories.”
Logan rummaged through his closet, shedding his tie and shirt as he spoke. “Nothing to tell.”
“I’m not buying it,” she insisted, appearing at the entrance of his closet.
“Privacy, sis!”
“That’s some good tanning you’ve got there,” she teased, looking him over. “Oh, and someone’s been working on their hot body.”
“Shut up,” he laughed, tossing his shirt at her.
Jane let out a laugh, flopping back onto his bed. “So, you didn’t meet any nice girls out there… maybe someone who isn’t slutty?”
“What’s your problem with Sandy?” he sighed, now dressed down in sweatpants and a worn T-shirt.
Jane softened. “I’m sorry,” she said, sounding more serious. “I shouldn’t have called her that. It’s just… I don’t think she’s with you for the right reasons.”
The irony bit at him; Jane had it all wrong. He wasn’t with Sandy for the right reasons. He was the one using her—a pawn in his carefully crafted image, just a role in the play he hated most. It was laughable that Sandy got pegged as the gold-digger when her family was plenty well off.
“She’s just… not for you,” Jane said, gentler this time, patting the spot beside her.
Logan joined her, heart heavy.
“Logan…” she said, her voice softening. He met her gaze, and she continued, “You look like shit.”
“I’m just tired,” he replied, shaking his head and looking away. How many times had he used this excuse already?
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jane asked, studying him with that big-sister gaze he could never quite dodge.
“You graduated, packed a bag, and handed the rest of your stuff to Mom and Dad at graduation like it was nothing. Then you left without a word and disappeared off the map. And now… you’re back just as suddenly. I’m just worried about you.”
“I’m fine, Jane. Just tired. I cut my trip short because I felt like it. Nothing more.” He lied, so easily now. He had studied this role his whole life after all.
“Okay. But please talk to me if you need to,” she urged, hugging him tightly.
Logan nodded, biting his tongue to keep from spilling the truth.
“Now, let’s go eat that cake,” she teased, pulling him up with a grin.
“I won’t have you looking all hot while I’m over here, blowing up like a balloon.
” She linked her arm through his, leading him toward the door.
“And you better eat at least three pieces, so you can tell me where you’ve been and keep up with me for once. ”
“Mostly Hawaii.”
“I want more info… I’m spending the night here, and I will drive you crazy until you tell me,” She said with a grin, and for the first time that evening, he felt a flicker of warmth amidst the confusion.