Chapter 6 #14
“We got down from the ship,” Adrian continued, his voice quieter now.
“Into the water. Weapons in hand, moving silently, the way we always did. They call us the people of silence, you know? It’s a name you earn.
But that day…” His voice faltered, and Logan saw it—the moment Adrian’s walls cracked, the pain bleeding through.
“What happened?” Logan asked gently, his own voice barely above a whisper.
Adrian flinched, the words clearly dragging themselves out of him.
“I had a negligent discharge.” The words were fragile, spoken like they might shatter him.
“The bullet… it hit one of my soldiers.” His voice broke completely, and his hands covered his face.
“He died that second. A nineteen-year-old. I killed a nineteen-year-old kid.”
Logan’s heart clenched, his instinct to reach out battling the sense that Adrian needed space to unravel at his own pace. “Adrian—” he started, but Adrian shook his head sharply, Logan felt his tears on his chest, so he just hugged him harder.
“They took my ranks. A few months before my service was supposed to end, they stripped everything. I spent seven months in military prison.” Adrian’s breath hitched, his voice a mix of anger and sorrow.
“I deserved more, Logan. So much more. And Dean—” He choked on the name, his body trembling.
“Dean was there. He testified for me, fought for me, and helped me with the lawyer. I didn’t have anything left, and he never gave up.
He visited me, kept me sane. He was more than a brother to me.
I never realized how strong that bond was until everything else was gone. ”
Hot tears streamed down Adrian’s face. Logan could only watch, his chest aching at the sight of Adrian unraveling, every word peeling back a layer of the man he thought he knew. Adrian wiped his face roughly with the back of his hand, his breath unsteady.
“When I got out, I knew I had to leave for a while... Dean, Tom, and the others were planning this trip. They set the dates to match my release, and assumed I’d come.
They wanted to bring me back into their lives, their world.
But I… I couldn’t. I wanted to be alone. I needed to get away from everything.”
He shook his head, his voice quivering with emotion. “I worked for months, saved everything I could. Took what I had from the army, my savings, and just… left. No explanations, no goodbyes. I had to.”
Logan nodded, though his throat was tight, his words stuck somewhere between his heart and mouth. He wanted to comfort Adrian, to tell him he was still here, but it felt like anything he said would pale against the weight of Adrian’s story.
Adrian turned his head slightly, his eyes shining with unshed tears.
“That day I saw you drowning, Lo… I felt like I was back there. Back in that moment. I didn’t go into the ocean because I’m some kind of hero.
” His voice cracked, his words rough as if they’d scraped against him on their way out.
“I did it because I’m selfish. Because I couldn’t bear another… ”
He broke off, inhaling sharply, as though the very thought threatened to consume him.
After a moment, he continued, softer now, his voice barely more than a breath.
“I took a life, Logan. But I saved another. Because… if it weren’t for everything that had happened, I would not have been there in Hawaii that day, I would have still been serving probably. ”
The silence that followed was heavy, filled only with the sound of their breathing.
Logan, his heart aching, cupped Adrian’s face, his thumb brushing away the new tears that Adrian didn’t seem to notice.
“Adrian, you did not take a life!” he insisted, his voice firm but gentle.
“You carry so much, and I can’t pretend to know what that feels like. But it was an accident.”
“No… It’s not true. That kid was under my responsibility.” Adrian said, leaning toward Logan’s touch. “I was his commander. I needed to keep him safe, guide him, to die myself before letting something happen to him. Not kill him.”
Logan shook his head slowly, his thumb brushing away the tears from Adrian’s eyes, catching them before they could fall, as if refusing to let them touch the ground. Adrian’s voice, broken and quiet, rose between them like the whisper of the sea on a still night.
“I was so lost, Logan… so sad,” Adrian began, his voice trembling.
“After it happened… after I pulled the trigger by mistake and one of my men never came home, I carried that death inside me. It pressed against my chest like a stone, heavy, immovable. I couldn’t breathe under it.
Things I used to love, like playing music or even surfing, seemed pointless all of a sudden.
I thought of ending it more times than I can admit.
His face never left me; I haven’t closed my eyes once without meeting him again.
” His hand rose to Logan’s cheek, rough thumb trembling as it brushed away tears neither of them had noticed.
“You think I saved you. But the truth is, you’re the only reason I’m still here. ”
Logan’s breath broke, a sound more fragile than words.“No…” he whispered, his voice frayed, chest caving as fresh tears blurred his eyes.
“When I pulled you out of the waves, it felt like the sea had handed me back a reason to live. Like I was allowed to exist only because I had saved someone,” Adrian went on, truths he never intended to reveal spilling out from his lips.
“And then there was you. Not just someone. You became the center of it all—my compass, my breath, my best… everything. Pulling you from the waves didn’t just give me purpose.
It gave me you. And you… you set fire to the places in me I thought were already ash. ”
Logan couldn’t hold back anymore. He pulled Adrian further into his arms; their embrace was an inferno, two fires fusing until neither could be told apart.
He held him tightly, his hands firm against Adrian’s back, offering comfort that words couldn’t carry.
Adrian’s tears soaked into the crook of Logan’s neck, and Logan tightened his grip as though holding him could keep him from falling apart.
His own tears spilled over, staining Adrian’s skin as he buried his face into his shoulder.
“You may not believe this, Adrian, but it’s not your fault,” Logan murmured, his voice steady despite the storm inside him. “Accidents happen. You’re human. You couldn’t have prevented it.”
Adrian’s body trembled at Logan’s words, and for a moment, neither spoke; the silence was filled only by the sound of their breath and the soft rustle of the blanket as they clung to each other.
Logan pulled back just enough to look at him, his hands moving instinctively to Adrian’s face.
His thumbs wiped away the tracks of hot tears left behind, his touch as gentle as the first kiss of sunlight on the horizon.
“We’re each other’s lifesavers,” he whispered, his gray eyes locking with Adrian’s, their depths holding everything Adrian needed to hear.
Adrian’s heart ached at the words, his chest tightening with emotions he never knew his heart can contain.
Logan was still here, still holding him, still with him.
He reached out, cupping Logan’s face as though he might vanish if he let go, and wiped the tears from his cheeks.
Somehow, even crying, Logan was breathtaking.
The vulnerability made him even more beautiful, his every feature illuminated by the rawness of the moment.
Adrian pressed against Logan, chest to chest, his arms wrapped tightly around him, trying to fuse them together.
Logan’s hand slid over Adrian’s head, their faces so close that Adrian could feel the light scruff on Logan’s jaw against his skin.
His breath hitched as Logan let out a soft, contented sigh, his hand roaming Adrian’s back, tracing the hard muscles beneath soft skin.
Their legs tangled beneath the blanket, a hidden intimacy that felt so natural.
Adrian’s breath tickled Logan’s neck, and Logan found himself waiting for each one, reveling in the warm air washing over him. He felt the steady rhythm of Adrian’s heartbeat against his own, a grounding cadence that calmed the chaos within him.
“You said something about playing music?” Logan asked softly, breaking the silence with a quiet curiosity, wanting to keep that moment alive. He fought the urge to press a kiss to Adrian’s cheek, the proximity and the intimacy of the moment overwhelming him.
“Hmm, yeah,” Adrian replied, his voice barely above a whisper, reluctant to move from the comfort of Logan’s arms. “Just guitar. Not much.”
“Really?” Logan murmured, his admiration evident. “Surfing, playing music… Is there anything you can’t do?”
Adrian chuckled softly, the vibration brushing against Logan’s neck. “No, no wow,” he said modestly. “I’m just an amateur, really. I like to try new things, so I picked up playing here and there, but surfing’s my first love, really. Music is just… something else I enjoy. But I’m not great at it.”
“I didn’t see you bring a guitar,” Logan remarked, his voice still gentle, his fingers tracing soft patterns on Adrian’s back.
“Easier to travel without it,” Adrian replied, his hand still resting on Logan’s back, the contact grounding them both.
Logan let the moment stretch between them, the quiet weight of their closeness speaking louder than words ever could. They were a storm and the calm that followed, tangled together in the stillness of the morning, each finding solace in the other’s presence.
“You know, Adrian,” Logan whispered into the silence after a while, his voice hesitant. “It seemed like I had the perfect life. Even during college, everybody always said it, how easy it was for me. But it wasn’t.” He stopped for a moment, his words faltering.