Chapter 21
Zayden
I don’t remember the walk back to my dorm. One second I was pulling away from her, even when every cell in my body screamed at me to kiss her again, and the next, I’m here.
Lying flat on my bed, staring at the ceiling like it might erase everything, but it doesn’t. My lips still burn from how I kissed her like she was my oxygen. The way her body felt against mine, the way she pulled my locs, the sound she made.
Fuck!
That’s always been the problem. My emotions never come in neat, manageable pieces. They crash over me like waves that don’t stop breaking. Anger, guilt, want, fear. They don’t knock politely; they rip through me like they own the place.
This is why I shut everyone out. Why I keep my head down, keep my fists clenched, keep my heart locked away. Because when I feel, I feel like I’m going to drown in it.
And Luna? She’s the goddamn storm I never prepared for.
I press a hand over my chest, feeling the rapid rhythm of my heart. It’s beating too fucking fast because of her. Not in the same way it does after practice, not from adrenaline, not from rage or pressure. This feels different, like she infused it with a little more blood.
Then the memory hits, and I’m twelve again.
I sat in the corner of my room with my knees pulled to my chest. My shoulders were shaking, and my throat ached from trying to hold it in, but the tears came anyway. I fucking hated it.
Another bad practice with my dad. I’d messed up on the ice, and he yelled at me the whole drive home.
“Aldenhursts don’t make mistakes,” he’d said, and if I couldn’t handle pressure, I’d never make it. He called me soft, said I needed to toughen up.
The door creaked open, and someone walked in. I didn’t look up, but I knew it was her. She took a seat beside me.
“You feel that?” my mum finally said after a while, pressing her palm against my chest. My heart was pounding so hard, like it was begging to come out.
“It means you’re still good. Feeling this much is not a weakness, baby.
It’s your gift. Don’t let anyone take this away from you. Not even your dad.”
He wasn’t always like that, but after the accident, when he couldn’t play anymore, he poured every ounce of his rage into me.
I absorbed it all, but it hit ten times heavier than it should have, like his anger multiplied the moment it landed on me.
Sometimes, all I wanted was to disappear, to stop existing, just to escape the weight of it.
“I’ll always be here to remind you,” she said, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.
Then she left.
She fucking lied.
The door swings open, and Jasper steps in. He shuts it behind him. “What the hell was that at practice?”
From the corner of my eye, I can see him leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest as he waits for my answer.
“What happened at your dad’s office?” he asks after a while. “I saw you leaving earlier.”
The memory of our meeting claws its way back before I can shove it down.
He sent me a text to come to his office after I dropped Luna off.
“Close the door,” he said as I walked in. I did.
He tossed a tablet on his desk. The video of Luna and me skating together played on the screen.
“You think this is a joke?” he snapped. “Skating with her at that rink, and letting the video get out?”
“I didn’t know someone was recording us,” I said through gritted teeth.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re in it. You’re a hockey player, not some goddamn ice princess.” He glared at me like I’d ruined everything. Like I’d embarrassed his precious Aldenhurst legacy. “I told you to stay away from that rink, and you brought her there.”
“I didn’t bring her. Someone led her there. Because someone wants the truth out.” I stepped closer to the desk.
His face went pale, something like fear spreading across it. It vanished a second later, but I saw it.
“It wasn’t an accident, was it?” My voice dropped lower, afraid of the answer. “You were there that night. You know what happened.”
Silence.
“You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about,” he muttered. “Stay away from the rink, and that little girl.”
I flinched. “You don’t get to decide—”
“I do when it puts everything we’ve built at risk. She’s a distraction. You want to make it to the national team? Stay the hell away from her.”
“My personal life is not your problem.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. She became a problem the moment she stepped foot in the Shadow Rink. And if you keep pushing, Zayden, she might end up like Ellias.”
“Did you just threaten her?” My fists clenched at my sides.
He turned away, already moving on like that should be the end of it. “The video’s already gone. I made sure of it.”
“If something happens to her…” I growled.
He lifted a brow, daring me to finish.
“I will burn the whole damn school to the ground.”
His eyes darkened.
“I know Ellias didn’t die by accident. And I will find the truth and bring you down with it.”
His face tightened, and fear flickered across it. If I had doubt before, not anymore.
I turned toward the door.
“You think I’m bluffing?” I said without looking back. “Try me, Coach.”
“Z.” A voice cuts through my fog.
I blink hard as the room comes into focus. My fists are still clenched at my sides.
“Where’d you go?”
I don’t answer right away. My heart’s still racing.
“You gonna tell me what the hell happened in your dad’s office?” He’s standing in front of me now.
“He saw the video of me and Luna.”
“Let me guess, he wasn’t too happy about it.” Jasper waits.
“He threatened her.” I barely get the words out, still trying to control my breathing. The anger settles deeper in my chest.
“What?” His whole body goes still. “Because of the video?”
I sit up slowly. My elbows rest on my knees as I stare at the floor. “The video, the Shadow Rink, Ellias, all of it. I think he’s scared.”
“Of what?”
“That someone’s dragging the truth out.”
“What truth?” Jasper takes a seat at my desk.
“You’ve heard of the Midnight Challenge?” I look up at him.
He nods.
“It’s not just rumors. It was real, and people got hurt. Ellias didn’t die skating alone. He died on the ice during one of the challenges.”
“And you know this how?”
The air in my lungs freezes as I think about the conversation I heard a few months before my mum left. “I overheard my parents fighting about it.”
My mum was crying. I’d never heard her cry like that before. Not like she was sad, but furious and heartbroken at the same time.
“A kid is dead, Zayn. Is that what this place does to people? That damn Midnight Challenge should have been shut down years ago,” she snapped.
“Ellias wasn’t supposed to die. We just needed him to lose,” he said, quieter now.
“They need to shut it down, or I will take them down myself.”
“You think you can take them down? Do you even know how deep this goes?”
“Watch me. I’ll burn the whole school to the ground if I have to. I’ll go public, talk to the press, the families, the Federation—everyone. I will tear down every name tied to this school—including yours.” Her fury was shaking the wall.
“You can’t go against them. These people are powerful. You’ll get yourself killed.” Panic and fear crept into his voice.
“Maybe,” she said, softer now. “But I won’t stay quiet. Not when a child is dead.”
“And you think your dad had something to do with Ellias?”
“I think so,” I say. “Or at least he knows what happened. He was there that night.”
“Jesus, Zayden.”
“There’s something else,” I say quietly. “I’ve been getting anonymous messages. Luna, too.”
“Messages?”
“About the Shadow Rink, the Midnight Challenge, Ellias, and they’re the ones who led Luna to the rink. I think they leaked the video, too.”
“You’ve been getting those messages for how long?”
“A few weeks now.”
Jasper pulls away from his seat. His sneakers scuff the floor as he paces back and forth. “Weeks, Zayden? Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I didn’t want to drag you into this.” I look up at him.
He stops pacing now as he stares back at me. The look on his face is not anger, but worry.
“I need your help,” I say. “Can you trace the messages and find out where they came from, who’s sending them?”
“I need my laptop. Be right back.” He heads out.
He comes back a couple minutes later with his laptop.
“Let’s trace who’s been messing with you.” He sets it down at my desk and glances at me. “Still got the texts?”
I hand him my phone, and he connects it with a cable.
“This might take a while.” He cracks his knuckles as he begins typing.
There’s no turning back now. I’ll find the truth, even if it means blowing up everything, my draft spot, the fucking Aldenhurst name.
“Whoever is sending those messages is smart enough to cover their trail. This is gonna take longer than I thought.” He closes the laptop. “I’ll finish later, or we’ll be late for class.” Grabbing his laptop, he heads for the door.
“Keep this between us,” I call after him.
He nods and shuts the door behind him.
I’m left alone again with the silence that I love and crave. Except this time, it’s filled with thoughts of her.
I drag my hands over my face and lean forward.
When did she start mattering so much?
Maybe it was the first time I saw her on the ice, or the night she challenged me at the Shadow Rink.
Maybe it was every second after that, when I couldn’t stop noticing her.
Or maybe it was long before that. Three years ago on a frozen lake when she didn’t even know my name.
She’s always been there, living between my thoughts.
I push up from the edge of the bed and head toward the bathroom. I need a fucking shower.
By the time I’m done and my uniform is on, Jasper is already waiting for me in the living area. Cameron is also there, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.
Jasper gives me a look that says, Don’t screw this up.
“Hey,” I say, clearing my throat. “About earlier…”
Cameron nods before I can finish. “Yeah, same. We’re cool.”
I nod back. “Cool.”
We head out, and Cameron walks ahead, flirting with some girls in the hallway. Jasper walks quietly beside me, no teasing or poking, like he knows I’m barely keeping it together.
Then my body freezes, and of course, it’s her.
Luna is coming out of the library. She squints at the light, rubbing her temple like she’s trying to ease something.
She scans the hallway before her eyes land on me. Everything stills, and we stare at each other for a second. Then she looks away like I’m part of the wall. No fire, not even one of those cold glares she used to throw at me.
I told her to stay away. So, why does it hurt like hell that she’s actually doing it?
“You might need to make it a little less obvious that you’re obsessed with her,” Jasper teases.
I ignore his comment and keep moving, even when my body screams to go after her. I breathe through the pressure in my chest and remind myself to focus on the game this weekend. I’m doing this to protect her.