18. Clyde
CLYDE
Stephen and I had been very conscious about making sure that throughout the pregnancy, Posy didn’t feel like the new baby was taking over her spot in the house.
So when Posy had a three-day weekend coming up and asked if, instead of having a Miss Caitlin night, we could all do something together, we jumped at the opportunity.
It was also going to give me the opportunity to talk to them about something that Posy had on my mind for the past few days, which was the legal relationship between her and Stephen. He was her dad through and through, but the courts wouldn’t agree.
Stephen was seven-ish months pregnant at this point, and his belly was large, but not, like, entering the door before he did large.
It was a good time to get away without having to worry about it being baby time.
He was still working and hadn’t started his paternity leave yet, but he was worn out by the end of the day.
His exhaustion wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been in the first trimester, but I could see him taking leave soon.
My first thought when we decided to take the trip was doing something fun, like a water park, to really help Posy feel like this vacation was about her as much as us.
But apparently, every other parent on this planet had the same idea because there was not a single room left.
That worked out for the better, though, because I was able to find a shifter-friendly cabin rental thanks to a friend from work’s recommendation.
It was a small cabin only an hour away from home.
It had enough privacy for me to shift, walking paths, a barbecue—all the things required for a nice, relaxing weekend.
Stephen was no longer shifting. He’d stopped about a month ago. His fox was like, “Nope,” and he agreed. They were very much in sync with this pregnancy, which was great for both of them.
The car was packed full when I headed out to pick up Posy from school and then Stephen from work.
We were leaving the night before the three-day weekend officially started so she wouldn’t miss any school, but also, we’d get full family time.
If we had gone any farther away, it wouldn’t have been possible.
I’d packed everything under the sun including our quilt, extra pillows, snacks, and medicine just in case somebody wasn’t feeling well.
I had this entire pharmacy there despite rarely opening our medicine cabinet at home.
I also brought some games and a cooler full of food for us to cook.
We’d hit up the grocery store when we were there to get anything that was special or caught anybody’s eye, but I didn’t want us to have to go anywhere if we didn’t want to.
Posy was no better than I was. Her original suitcase didn’t have clothes in it at all.
She had all of her teddy bears, her button collection, art supplies, and puzzles.
My first instinct was to have her repack.
Instead, I just gave her a bag for her clothes.
We had the room. There was no reason not to, other than it wasn’t a traditional bag.
When Miss Caitlin heard why we weren’t having Miss Caitlin night, she baked up a storm.
We had a tin of cookies, a pound cake, and homemade rolls.
She had confided in me that at one point, before Posy and I had moved next to her, that she was very lonely and what a difference we’d made in her life. The same was true for us.
I’d never seen Posy run as fast as when I pulled up to get her. She was ready. She buckled in and told me to drive super speed, “but not too super speed because then you’ll get pulled over, and that’ll take longer.” That wasn’t the only reason not to go past the speed limit, but it worked.
Stephen was outside and ready for us. He, too, was excited. He’d only had to go into work for a conference call, and I’d dropped him off after lunch. He hadn’t had an overtaxing day, which was good because driving in the car for an hour was going to be rough on him.
Sure enough, he squirmed at each turn and bump, trying to stay comfortable the entire time, not once complaining.
I offered to stop for both him and Posy, but she promised me she went before school and didn’t need to and then told us everything she had planned for the weekend.
“What do you think, Papa? Does that sound like a good plan?”
“It sounds like a great plan.”
“It’s too bad my sister’s not going to be able to remember this since she’s still living in your tummy.” She could not let go of the sister references no matter how many times we reminded her that we didn’t know.
“We don’t know if you’re having a sister or a brother,” Stephen said.
“I know,” which was her answer every time. I knew she’d love whoever her sibling was, but I didn’t like her setting herself up for disappointment.
“Whoa.” Posy was instantly captivated as I turned down the dirt path toward the cabin. “We’re in fairyland. Do you think there’s gnomes too?”
“I don’t know. But if there are, maybe don’t go with them unless you ask permission first.” She had a book where a gnome takes a little girl on an adventure.
“Daddy, they’re not real.”
“People say that about us too,” Stephen reminded her.
“Fine. I won’t go with any fairies or gnomes or elves or trolls without asking. But if there’s a dragon, no one’s stopping me.”
“Dragons are real, though.” Stephen was the best at these silly conversations.
“My statement stands.”
She wouldn’t really leave with anyone, not even dragons. She’d met dragons before. They were just people who sometimes had wings. She was being silly, but I still couldn’t help but hope there were no dragons despite knowing that.
The cabin looked like it belonged on a postcard.
Posy helped me bring everything in, despite Stephen insisting that he was fine to help.
I believed him. He was fine to help, but that didn’t mean I wanted him to.
He had a job, and that job was to have a peaceful, calm pregnancy.
And if that meant I lugged all of it by myself, I wouldn’t have cared.
“Daddy, you brought a lot of food,” she whined.
I was confused. “Why don’t you sound happy about that?”
“Because it’s all food food.”
“What are the alternatives?”
“Candy.” She was dead serious.
“That’s because I have a surprise.” Stephen stood off to the side, holding his belly the way he did when the baby was moving. “There’s a candy store about fifteen minutes from here.”
That was news to me. I hadn’t packed anything because I thought we could go a few days without, but leave it to Stephen to plan ahead. “So I thought maybe tomorrow, we could go and see what kind of goodies we could find.”
She was all about that.
We grilled burgers for dinner, ate them on the rolls Miss Caitlin made, and then sat outside and enjoyed the view, listening to the rolling river and Posy keeping her eye out for gnomes.
“She’s really something, isn’t she?” Stephen took my hand.
“She is. And I was thinking… I know we’ve been working really hard to have Posy feeling like her family isn’t changing and that you’re part of it, and I’m part of it, and she’s part of it.”
“Do you think we aren’t doing enough?”
“That’s not it. It’s just that it’s always going to remain that on paper, I’m her guardian. What if we ask her if we can have you on paper too?”
Tears were trickling down his cheeks. “That would be the biggest honor, but it’s not up to me or you to decide.”
“I’m asking on behalf of a little gnome hunter.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. She called you her papa at school, and Sally, because it’s always Sally, said that you weren’t because we weren’t married and that you could leave anytime. She said she knew it wasn’t true, but I think the paper would matter to her.”
We talked some more and decided that tonight, after we read Posy’s story, we would ask what she thought.
“So are you saying that I would have my dads who lives with the goddess and also have you and daddy like I do now, but with a fancy paper?”
“Exactly.”
“Does that mean you can never leave me?”
“I was never leaving you anyway.”
What it did mean was that no one could make her leave if something happened to me.
“When we get the fancy paper, will there be cake?”
“Lots and lots of cake, we promise.”