15. Arlo
15
ARLO
I blinked the tears away while squinting through the windshield. Not wanting to have an accident, I slowed down, allowing cars to pass me, and the ones that couldn’t or wouldn’t honked their horns.
Screw you. I just discovered the love of my life isn’t human. He has an animal inside him, a big scary lion . Hunkering down in the driver’s seat, I gripped the wheel tightly, glad I was in a locked car and not nose to snout with a huge cat. One with long sharp canines that could take my head off with a single bite.
I’d read articles about people in a safari park who’d been ordered not to get out of their vehicles or wind down the windows. Those who disregarded the rules met with a tragic end!
An imaginary snap reverberated in my ears, and I gripped my throat, reassuring myself that my head was still attached.
Shifters! Kalen was a shifter.
I thought back to the mental notes I’d made of his qualities and talents. He could see in the dark, had great reflexes and hearing, was a big meat eater, enjoyed being up high and surveying the landscape before him. Even his hair and beard were lion-like in their coloring.
Our lives were so different, we could never be together. If I was married to an alpha and they said they were going for a run, I’d assume they were going jogging, maybe just for exercise or perhaps training for a marathon, perhaps raising money for charity.
But if Kalen headed out for some exercise, he’d be going somewhere isolated, strip off his clothes, and let his lion do whatever he wanted: running and hunting! I choked as an image of the lion’s head appeared on the hood of the car. Slamming on the brakes resulted in more angry beeping from drivers in the rear.
I pulled over and rested my head on the wheel, sweat dripping from my hairline and tears blinding me. This wasn’t real. I needed to meet Kalen and have him tell me it was all in my imagination. But as I sat in the stationary car, traffic whizzing by, a tawny hair on my pants caught my eye. I picked it up.
It wasn’t my color and had to be Kalen’s, except his hair was much shorter than this one. I gripped my belly when food threatened to erupt but couldn’t keep it down, so I opened the door and stuck my head out.
After emptying my tummy, I slumped in the seat, wishing someone would drive me home. I couldn’t ask Stephen because a) he’d say I told you so and b) I couldn’t reveal the lion shifter information. If I did, he’d book me a therapist appointment. Not that that was a bad thing. I had a lot of old grievances and learned behavior that I wanted to get rid of or change.
Nope, I was on my own. I gingerly pulled into traffic, and when I arrived home, I locked the gate, got Princess from her secluded spot, and brought her inside for the night. I needed company, and she was all I had.
“You’re not going to sprout wings or something, are you?”
She didn’t answer, and I suspected she wasn’t harboring a secret identity.
Standing under the shower, I made the water hotter than was comfortable ‘cause I wanted to feel something other than rage and fear. Kalen being who he was had ruined the vision I’d had of our life. Damn him and the lion who lived inside him.
We’d had sex, shared food and laughter, and he was hiding who he was. Thinking back to his cock, I wondered if the girth was influenced by his animal? Like, did house cat shifters have small cocks? It wasn’t as though I could jump online and find out.
Now I turned off the hot water and stood under a freezing waterfall pounding on my head. “No,” I screeched. This wasn’t my fault. It was his. Why did he agree to fix my roof, why did he answer the stupid call? He and his lion should have been out mauling a deer or something.
I stomped out of the shower, water puddling on the tiles, and flung on a bathrobe. Not caring if I dried myself off, I wrapped a towel around my wet head and collapsed on the mattress, pulling the bedclothes over me. It was safe under there and dark. The doors and windows were locked, Princess was safe in the house for the night, and no lions were allowed in, unless they could unlock a door.
Minutes and hours passed, and I lay awake, thinking Stephen had been right. Not about shifters but that maybe Kalen was conning me. Why was he looking for a human partner when he had his pick of shifters? None of it made sense.
I must have drifted off because nightmares of lions chasing me, hiding and leaping out of unexpected places, filled my head. Screams filled the room when I sat up in bed, bathed in sweat.
When I flipped on the lamp, most of the bedding was twisted around me, while the rest was on the floor. I made myself hot tea and climbed back into bed.
Running through each of my issues, it hit me. Kalen hadn’t lied about who he was. He’d shown me the real Kalen, the human part. He’d kept his secret identity hidden because he wasn’t allowed to show me his lion.
Kalen, the guy who walked on two legs, was kind, generous, funny, and loyal. Even if his lion was an asshole, it didn’t matter. I wasn’t going on dates with his animal or sharing a bed or a meal with him.
I adored Kalen, and when you loved someone, you accepted them, flaws and all—not that his lion was a flaw. Fuck, all those awful thoughts that had flitted though my head since he revealed his other side were nasty, selfish, and self-centered. Maybe even speciesist.
I was an asshat for allowing those ideas to enter my head, and I had to find Kalen and apologize. He might not accept me saying sorry, maybe I’d blown it and we could never be together, but I wanted to let him know I wasn’t that guy.
My phone said it was three AM, but I couldn’t live with the horrible ideas that were in my head, so I scribbled them on a notepad and scrunched up the paper. Even though it was summer, I started a fire in the fireplace, and when it was blazing, I tossed the paper in and watched it sizzle.
Gone. Those thoughts were no more. No matter Kalen’s reaction, I was ridding myself of those ideas.
But I had to tell him and it was now 4 AM. Did lions enjoy hunting in the early hours of the morning? I guessed I’d find out.
When I’d last been in the car, I was upset, thinking my life had been destroyed. But I was the one who’d almost wrecked our relationship. Maybe I already had.
Not bothering with clothes and still wearing my robe, I got in the car but leaped out again and put Princess in the passenger seat.
“You’ve been with me since this began, so you should see it out too.” If this was the end, I needed company.
I sped through the empty streets, screeching to a halt at red lights and cursing when I sat there, the only car on the road. “There’s no one else here.” I shook a fist at the traffic lights.
Kalen’s house was in darkness when I pulled up outside. Not surprising, as it was early and most people were in bed. But he had excellent hearing thanks to being a shifter, so when I rang the doorbell, he’d come running. He might slam the door in my face, swear at me, say he never wanted to see me again because I couldn’t accept him for who he was, and I’d deserve all of it.
“Come on, Princess.” I picked up the small pot.
My heart was almost tripping over itself; it was beating so fast as I placed a finger on the doorbell. But I didn’t press it, instead hesitating, doubts assailing me as I wondered if I should wait until dawn. Nope, I had to omega up.
The doorbell wasn’t a buzz and you’re done type. It was a chiming one that reminded me of church bells. Gods, the neighbors could probably hear it.
Nothing. No light footfalls headed toward me. I tried again. The house was quiet.
“Kalen. It’s me, Arlo. I need to talk to you.”
If he was inside and refusing to come out, I’d have to shout my apology. Maybe I could sneak around to his window and toss pebbles against it. That was sort of romantic. Unless I shattered the glass and he’d have another reason to be pissed at me.
But he either wasn’t home, and that brought up the question of where would he be? Had I driven him into the arms of another omega? Or was he done with me and hoping I’d leave.
Tears spilled onto my robe, and I curled up on the porch, my head on the mat and Princess beside me.
What had I done?