Chapter 21
Weslyn
It's hard to hide my nerves, I'll admit. And his little text message stunt at the pizza place actually did work to help me calm them. It's easy being around him, and I just have to remember that he is the same person I'd been texting these past three weeks. Only now we're in person.
Kyran is kind, and funny, and so attractive. Being here with him feels unreal, but also like I've known him my whole life, though I love that there's still this sense of mystery to him and I love knowing that there’s more of him to get to know.
He's every bit charming, sexy, sweet, and he knows just what to say to take me out of my head, which is where I seem to have found myself more in the past few hours than the last few months.
He opens the door of his car for me once more before leading me to an elevator at the back of his building parking lot. After a somewhat talkative lunch and car ride, we both enter in silence.
This is it.
I'm going to his house.
But what does that mean? Does it have to mean anything?
He said that we should just expect each other and while I appreciate the simplicity of it, it still causes me to wonder what that means for me.
For us. And what are we, really? At this point, I could call Kyran one of my best friends.
But technically, we’ve already been on a few dates.
And those FaceTime dates lasted hours into the early morning.
And I already feel like I want to be more than friends with him; especially when he says my name and looks at me the way he does.
"I can hear your thoughts from here, Weslyn," he says to me as he turns his head forward. The elevator still climbing the building.
"Can I ask you something?" I wonder, deciding to continue to be as open as I've been and hoping that he's going to be okay with me being blunt and straightforward with him.
It's not like we haven't been ourselves in front of each other before, but there was a screen between us.
Now, he gets to see my expressions as I wonder things and he gets to hear my voice as I ask them.
"Of course you can." He turns to look at me and gently flashes me the sincerest smile I've ever seen.
"I know you said that we should expect each other from this, and maybe I'm just over thinking it, but what does that mean for you?" I focus my eyes on his, feeling slightly worried that he'll find my question annoying.
But his confidence is heartening.
"Honestly," he starts. "I'm not too sure how to answer that question.
All I know is that whatever does come of this, I want that.
Unless it ends with us never talking again.
I don't think I could manage that very well.
But I know that I want to get to know you more.
" His honesty is refreshing, not that I expected him to not be honest.
I just wish he could be clearer. Like, I want to fuck you.
Or, I just needed a friend this week. Maybe even, I am actually the world's most wanted internet killer and you are my next victim.
Part of me wonders if he's treading lightly with his words because he's scared I won't accept his real wants, or maybe he's afraid he'll be too forward.
Maybe he doesn't even know what he wants.
I decide to just chalk it up to both of us not really knowing what we want but are nervous about what the other wants, and decide to approach with a slight quip.
"Getting attached to a stranger already?" I ask him teasingly, nudging him in the arm with my shoulder but he doesn't budge.
"It's hard not to get attached to a stranger when that stranger is you." The elevator stops and so does my heart.
I look up at him to see the way he's looking down at me, neither of us breaking the stare as the doors slide open slowly. His words thread into my heart and I feel so much more than surface level emotion coursing through me.
But then he reaches a hand down to caress the small of back as he gently urges me to exit the elevator cab after he whispers against my cheek, "And you're not a stranger, Weslyn."
I'm stunned as he leads me into the hallway and down to his door on the left.
His way with words ignites me, sending a rush of heat all over my body.
Or maybe it's the way his hand touches me at my back, a sense of security accompanying his touch.
But it's the fleeting moment of sin that flits between us, knowing that I can feel that way my body reacts to him and I'm not sure he even realizes he's doing this to me.
But I can't deny it and I think it's something I've always felt.
It's just different now that we are this close in person.
He opens the door to his condo and steps aside for me to walk through. "Welcome to my home," he says as we both step inside.
He comes up from behind me and sets my bag down on the ground. Suddenly, the space now seems a bit too warm and intimate as I hear the click of the door closing behind us, even though it’s all bright light and open concept.
I don't let that thought sink in, the one where I realize that we're now alone.
Instead, I busy myself by looking around a bit more.
I don't know what I expected when I thought of his home or where he lived.
You think of someone who is nearly rich enough to be a billionaire and immediately imagine gigantic houses in the mountains.
Granted, I knew he didn't have one of those.
But the realization of just how different our lives are is something that bounces in my brain a few times and it's hard to not feel somewhat out of place.
I turn to him with a shy smile only to see that his eyes are glued on me.
My cheeks burn. I love when his eyes are on me.
It's one thing when we look at each other through the screen of our phones, but in person with him just a few feet away, it makes me feel dizzy with anticipation and utterly consumed with wondering what he thinks or feels when he looks at me.
But I have to shake off this feeling, because it's starting to feel like too much too fast, and the last thing I want to do is overthink the intentions of his eye contact.
Instead, I walk right up to him, reaching for the front pocket of his jeans where I can see the outline of his phone.
I pull it out and hand it to him. He pinches his brows inward as he takes it with confusion in his expression and I simply giggle before I say, "Take a picture. It will last longer."