23. Wyatt
CHAPTER 23
Wyatt
BIG FEELINGS
I talk.
It comes pouring out of me in a steady stream—the stories, the memories, the regrets. The things I wish Mom could’ve seen—Duke and Ryder graduating high school, Ella being born, Cash falling in love with Mollie—and the things I’m glad she didn’t, like our ranch falling into disrepair.
Sally listens, her body tucked against mine. Every so often, she’ll reach for her wine and we’ll each take a sip. But otherwise, she’s quiet. Not in an absent or bored way—there’s warmth in her silence, a sense of understanding. I can’t really describe it. All I know is, I feel heard. Seen.
Safe.
There’s still part of me that expects her to bolt at any minute. Because that’s immediately where my brain goes—whenever you get close to someone, you end up hurt.
Of course Mom didn’t hurt or leave me on purpose. Rationally, I know this. But her death rewired a part of my monkey brain, and somehow, I’ve ended up with the misbelief that love inevitably equals pain. It equals losing years to the darkness of grief .
Love and darkness—they’ve been a package deal for as long as I can remember.
But Sally? She’s not leaving.
She stays in my lap, and she listens. By the time I’m finished talking, she’s running her fingers through my hair, and then she’s drawing soft circles with her fingertip on my chest.
Little reminders that she’s still here.
“You should run,” I murmur into her hair. “That was…a lot.”
“I’d rather stay.”
“If you insist.”
She laughs, a pretty, feminine sound I feel inside my rib cage. Then she sits up and does that thing where she looks me in the eye, her expression soft, gaze softer. “I admire the hell out of you, you know that?”
My heart dips. “Say more.”
Another laugh. “How do you feel? After getting all that out?”
I suck in a lungful of air, tinged with the smell of the dying fire. “Lighter? Empty, but in a good way?”
“And how did you feel before?”
Swallowing, I think on that for a minute. “Too…full.”
“You were scared to let it out. You’ve been scared for a while, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“But tonight, you decided you were going to let it out anyway. I think that’s one hell of an accomplishment.”
“Me crying is an accomplishment?” I smile though as I say the words.
“Totally. Cowboys cry, too, especially when they talk about their feelings.”
I scoff. “I feel like we’re always talking to Ella about how it’s okay to have big feelings. Sometimes, I think adults aren’t much better at handling that shit than kids are. ”
A flicker moves across Sally’s eyes. The energy between us shifts. Takes on an edge of heat.
“What?” I run my hand up the side of her thigh.
“Self-awareness. It just might be the sexiest thing about you, Wy.”
I glance at the table. “Are we done with dinner?”
Sally digs her teeth into her bottom lip. “We’re done with dinner.”
“C’mon then.” Slipping an arm underneath her knees, I slide my other arm down her back and cradle her against me. “How you’re still attracted to me after I babbled on like that, I don’t know, but?—”
“Are you kidding?” Sally’s turn to scoff. “Take off my pants and see just how attractive I find your courage. Your honesty. Your way with mashed potatoes.”
I’m always laughing with this woman. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Arms around my neck. I’m taking you to bed, Sunshine.”
Because she’s trying to kill me, Sally nuzzles her face against my throat and kisses me there as I carry her to my room. Electricity bolts through my skin, blood rushing to my dick, and I’m already hard by the time I set Sally down just inside the door.
I turn on the bedside lamp. Turn down the covers. I make quick work of lighting a fire in the fireplace. One of the benefits of having a house as old as this one is the multiple chimneys that kept the rooms warm before central heating was a thing.
Once the flames get high, I turn off the lamp. The fire fills the room with low, soft light and the sound of crackling wood.
Sally waits by the door. Her eyes have this funny look in them as she watches me approach.
“You okay?” I ask.
The fire snaps .
She swallows. “This is so perfect. Everything about this night has been perfect, Wyatt, and it’s…overwhelming. In the best, most beautiful way.”
I slip my hands inside her shirt, her belly caving at my touch. Her skin is impossibly soft. I lean in and kiss her mouth.
You’re the one overwhelming me .
Sally rises onto her tiptoes to kiss me back. Her hands find the hair at the nape of my neck as my tongue finds the seam of her lips. I open her, my heart thundering at the needy little moan that sounds in the back of her throat.
My dick feels heavy. My skin is tight. I slide my hands up, my thumbs finding the swell of her breasts. She moans again when I feather my thumbs over her nipples, drawing them to sweet little peaks against the lace of her bra, which I unhook with one hand.
“Arms up, Sunshine. That’s a good girl. Look how well you listen.”
I guide her shirt over her head and slip the straps of her bra off her shoulders. Looking down, I take her tits in my hands and marvel at her naked beauty. The fire paints her skin in shades of red, auburn, gold. I gently press a finger to the dark freckle just above her left nipple.
When I meet her eyes, I see that they’re heavy-lidded. Alive with desire.
“Beautiful.” It’s all I can manage. A single word.
Her lips curl into a hazy smile. “That’s how you make me feel, Wyatt.” She cups my cheek in her hand. “Beautiful.”
My briefs dampen. I’m leaking.
I’m in love.
Then I’m kissing her, and she’s unbuttoning my shirt while I unbutton her jeans. I use the bulk of my body to start backing her toward the bed, my thoughts ringing with disbelief that this is actually happening.
Sally is about to be in my bed .
I get to have her all night. All morning.
I get to love her the way I’ve always wanted to love her.
I’m rock hard between my legs, but there’s this achy tenderness in my chest as I help Sally out of her jeans and panties. The contrast is a mindfuck.
It makes me feel wild, a little shaky even.
Ordinarily, I’d shut this shit down. Bury these feelings and fuck this girl like the mindless animal I am.
Only with Sally, I’m able to be a whole human being. I can be the flirt, the good friend, and an even better boyfriend, but I can also be the man who’s grieving. Who’s hurt. The man who wants to do the right thing, but doesn’t know how.
It’s liberating. I don’t have to hold back or hide because I know Sally isn’t going anywhere.
She’s staying. For tonight at least.
In the light of the fire she looks like a goddess, all curves and flawless skin.
I curse when I see that she’s shaved her pussy again. She looks so small there, so vulnerable.
I can already taste her on my lips.
Shouldering out of my shirt, I nod at the bed. “Lie down.”
Sally does as I told her. I catch a tantalizing glimpse of her slit as she climbs into bed, settling herself against the pillows.
“This is really comfortable, Wyatt. Wow.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
I don’t tell her I paid a fortune to have a new mattress, bed frame, and bedding rush-delivered this week. She’ll find out eventually.
She’ll know I’m crazy in love with her and I would do anything to keep her safe and happy and comfortable eventually. Only the best for my girl.
I shuck off my jeans and briefs, and Sally’s eyes dart to my cock.
“You’re huge.” Her voice is hoarse. “I mean, I thought you were huge before, but now that I’m picturing it inside me… ”
“You worried? I have lube if you think we need it.”
Her eyes move up to meet mine. Then she slowly— slowly —lets her legs fall apart on the mattress, rumpling the covers underneath her thighs. “You tell me.”
Fu- uck .
This confidence. This dare . It has me taking my dick in my hand and giving myself a hard, almost angry pull as I devour her pussy with my gaze.
She’s spread wide, allowing me to devour every inch of her from her swollen clit to the dark pucker of her ass. My blood jumps when I see how she fucking glistens with arousal.
“Show me,” I grunt, giving myself another tug. “I want you to touch yourself and show me how wet you are for me.”
Her eyes flicker. I watch, pulse going haywire, as she reaches between her legs. She hisses when she runs her first two fingers over her clit, her tits pushing out on a sharp inhale as she circles her fingers.
“Jesus, I can hear how wet you are.”
Sally’s mouth falls open. “I am. For you. I want you here, Wyatt.”
I’m three seconds from coming in my hand. Takes every ounce of self-control not to pump myself again. “Move your fingers lower. Show me exactly where you want me.”
Oh Christ, she’s doing it. Those fingers head lower. One dips inside her, and she rolls her hips, hungry for more.
“Here.” Her teeth come down on her bottom lip.
She thrusts her finger easily in and out. She’s slippery, so wet and hot and soft I really can hear it.
My God, I did turn her on.
Who knew the truth was such an aphrodisiac?
I have to grit my teeth as I watch Sally fuck herself with her finger. One of her hands finds her breast, and she plays with her nipple and rides her hand. In my bed. Eyes on my cock.
Eyes on my eyes .
I step forward so my thighs meet with the mattress. “Anything I gotta know?”
She pulls her brows together. “About?—”
“I want you to take that”—I nod at her arousal before squeezing my leaking tip—“and put it here. Unless you think that’s a bad idea.”
“Oh.” She blinks as she realizes what I’m asking, a small smile breaking out on her face. “Oh, wow, okay. I had my annual appointment recently. I’m good.”
“I’m good too. As luck would have it, I got tested two weeks back.” My balls are screaming. “You on birth control?”
“I have an IUD, yes.”
“You gonna let me do what I want, then?”
A softness comes over her expression. “What do you want?”
“Everything.”
She runs her tongue along the inside of her top lip. “I want that too.”
“I got condoms. You wanna use ’em?—”
“I trust you.”
Bless .
I somehow manage to bite out the words, “Get your fingers wet. Really wet, Sunshine. Yes, just like that.” I hold out my dick. “Now get me wet too.”
I have to close my eyes when Sally lifts her fingers and leans in, all eagerness and excitement. My hips punch forward when she touches me, gently spreading her slickness over my head with her fingertips, mingling it with my pre-cum.
My eyes fly open when she licks me, her tongue lingering in the sensitive furrow on the underside of my head.
Her eyes lock on mine, and she slowly toys with me, swirling her tongue along my shaft before sucking my crown into her mouth .
My heart ricochets inside my chest, its rhythm uneven, the breaths I take unsteady.
Sally is savoring me.
She likes tasting me. Pleasing me. Having fun with me.
I bared everything to her today, and she still fucking wants me this way.
I lean down, my cock falling out of her mouth, and I take her face in hands that shake. I kiss her, taste the salt on her lips, and she whimpers, her hands finding my hips and pulling me to her.
My body throbs with the need to be inside her.
“On your back, Sunshine,” I whisper.