29. Wyatt
CHAPTER 29
Wyatt
DESPERADO
I clear my throat. “So…”
Sawyer glances at me over his shoulder and smiles. “So…”
Ordinarily, I’d want to slap that stupid, knowing smile off his face. It’s early—the bright orange ball of the sun is just breaking over the horizon—and so cold that I can see my breath. I wouldn’t say I’m cranky at this time of day, but I sure as hell don’t feel like dealing with my brothers’ bullshit.
But today?
Today, I just smile back, even though my stomach is a knot of nerves. “If y’all wouldn’t mind me takin’ a minute of your time, I have something I’d like to talk to you about. All of you.”
The five of us are on horseback. We’re bringing the herd out to graze in a pasture not far from the New House. I once heard someone give Sawyer parenting advice, saying that you should talk to your kids about tough topics in the car. No one can escape, and you’re also driving, meaning you don’t have to look anyone in the eye as you bring up horrifically uncomfortable shit.
Figure the same applies to being on horseback. I can pretend to be busy keeping an eye on the cows, while telling my brothers the news.
Cash reins in his big black horse, Kix. “Everything all right?”
“Everything is great.”
Duke drapes his forearms over the pommel of his saddle. “You knocked up Sally, didn’t you?”
“Would you hush?” Ryder turns to me. “But I bet it’s twins. We do run in the family.”
I roll my eyes. “Y’all?—”
“Sally and Wyatt, sitting in a tree,” Sawyer singsongs. “First comes friendship, then comes boning, then comes baby in the baby carriage and maybe marriage?”
Even Cash is grinning, which I take to be a good sign.
“What happened to growling at me?” I ask him.
Cash splays his hand. “John B and Patsy ain’t left yet. You’re still showin’ up to work. And, yeah, I see how happy you and Sally are when you’re together.”
I just stare at him.
“I’m allowed to change my mind,” he says with a shrug. “Sometimes, people surprise you.”
I shake my head. “Mollie teach you that?”
“She’s taught me a lot of things, yeah.”
“What’s Sally teachin’ you?” Sawyer asks, a twinkle in his eye.
Taking a deep inhale, I look out across the pasture. The rising sun turns everything it touches to gold—the nearby cliffs; an enormous, ancient oak to our left; the knobby cacti that spike up from the brush along a split-rail fence.
I can smell the earthy scent of the Colorado River above the even earthier odors of the herd. Cows low. My horse nickers, but he otherwise ignores the way Sawyer’s mare flicks him with her tail.
I know this land better than anyone. I was born here, and I always assumed I’d die here too .
Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. Doesn’t really matter anymore though. ’Cause as long as I do right by Sally, I’m gonna die a happy man.
I’ll miss Texas like crazy. I’ll always miss my family. But that’s what planes are for, right?
I clear my throat, squinting against the growing light. “Think y’all could get by around here without me?”
Silence.
My heart drums in my throat as my brothers stare at me, wide-eyed looks on their faces.
“That mean what I think it does?” Cash asks at last.
I dip my head. “I’m moving to New York with Sally. That’s only if she’ll let me, of course?—”
“She’s gonna let you.” Sawyer reaches over and claps a hand on my shoulder. “I’m so fucking happy for you, Wy.”
“But really, is Sally pregnant?” Cash asks.
I laugh. “No, she’s not pregnant. She wants to be, then, yeah, I’m more’n happy to make that happen. But that’s not why we’re moving in together. And moving together. Hopefully moving together. I wanna do things right.” I glance at Cash. “Which is why I wanted to talk to y’all first. Our family, this ranch—you’re my world. I don’t want—” Christ, I’m gonna cry. “I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t have to. But I gotta follow my girl, you know? I gotta help her make her dreams come true because, well, Sally is my dream.”
Sawyer squeezes my shoulder. “Then you gotta follow your girl.”
“We have so much going on here.” I gesture to our left, where a construction site is just visible. That’s Mollie’s new studio going up, along with part of the road that will eventually link the former Luck Ranch with the Rivers Ranch. “I understand that this is a terrible time for me to duck out?—”
“But you do what you have to do.” Cash’s tone is kind, which makes the tears fall faster. “I understand.”
Wiping my eyes, I sniffle. “You mean that? ”
It suddenly seems silly to me that I ever expected this conversation to go any other way. Of course my brothers are going to support me. Even Cash. If anyone has learned about the power and the importance of love, it’s him.
“Yeah, I mean that. I know making this decision couldn’t have been easy for you.”
“It wasn’t.” I straighten in the saddle. “At the same time, it was the easiest decision I’ve ever made. Do I wish Sally and I could be together here in Hartsville? Hell yeah, I do. But that’s not the hand we’ve been dealt, so I gotta play the cards we do have the best I can.”
Sawyer’s lips twitch. “You would make that metaphor.”
“You would fall right the fuck off that horse if I pushed you.”
His eyes glimmer. “I dare you.”
“Sally’ll fix him right up,” Ryder says.
I nod. “She does have a way with a drill.”
“That’s not funny,” Sawyer replies.
Duke guffaws. “It kinda is though.”
“You haven’t told her any of this? Sally?” Cash asks, one eye shut against the sun.
“I haven’t. Kinda want to make it a big thing. Wear an I Love New York shirt or something. Really show her I’m serious about being there for her, that I’m excited to support her. Had to get y’all’s blessing first, though, because I know this is a decision that affects all of us. I know she’s gonna want to see that y’all will get along just fine without me.”
Cash sniffles.
My turn to stare.
“Yeah, I’m gonna miss your ass.” He lifts his shoulder and uses it to wipe his nose. “I’m also happy for you. Really fucking happy, Wy. Mom…you know she’s celebrating up in heaven, right? Just yelling at the top of her lungs, Fucking finally! ”
I’m laughing and I’m crying, and so are all my brothers. Conversations about my parents have always made me feel a gut punch of grief. And the grief is still there. But I also feel…a little more at peace now than I did in the past. Like deep down, I know that while I might miss Mom like crazy, talking about her isn’t going to kill me.
The grief is not going to kill me.
“I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately.” I reach for my rope when a steer starts to stray from the herd. Drop my hand when he gets back in line on his own. “She and Dad had to make a lot of sacrifices. Not just for us, but for each other too. Dad inherited this huge ranch, and I’m not sure Mom ever pictured herself becoming a rancher too. But she did it because she loved him. He made it work because he loved her. And they were happy. At least I think they were happy, from what I remember anyway.”
Cash gets a faraway look in his eyes. “They were happy. Things weren’t perfect, obviously. But I feel like they were okay with the sacrifices they’d made.” He glances at me. “Just like you’re gonna be okay with yours.”
“You’re also not moving to the moon,” Sawyer adds.
Cash nods. “You can still be a part of things here. We’re gonna need a new foreman, but maybe we can come up with a new role for you. Strategic planning or some shit? I don’t know.”
Duke smiles. “Mollie is rubbing off on you. I like it.”
“She’s got a brain for business, that’s for damn sure.” Cash looks at me, his hat casting half his face in shadow. “And she’ll help us think of a way to keep you involved, Wyatt. Because I know you want to honor Mom and Dad’s legacy.”
I’m just shy of bawling. “I do want that, yeah.”
“We all do,” Duke says. “So it’s important we make our dreams for the ranch come true together. You being in New York won’t change that.”
“Do you promise not to call me a Yankee asshole? ”
Duke thinks on this. “That is a promise I don’t feel comfortable making, no. You gotta give us something to work with.”
“And you”—I glance at Sawyer—“will you fly up with Ella to visit us?”
He smiles. “Are you kidding? She’ll get a kick out of getting on an airplane to visit her uncle Wy.”
“I am her favorite.”
“No, you’re not.” Cash makes a face. “I am.”
Ryder points at us. “Wrong and very wrong. I’m the favorite.”
“If by favorite, you mean least favorite, then, yes, you’re correct,” Duke replies.
“Have you thought about what you’re gonna do up there?” Cash asks.
I slip my sunglasses on. “I have. I’ll figure out something. Don’t imagine they have operations like this one in upstate New York, but there’s bound to be work available for a country boy somewhere.”
Sawyer grins. “You could have some babies and raise ’em up. That’s always an option.”
“Y’all are really pushing this baby thing.”
“Ella needs cousins.” Sawyer looks at Cash. “You and Mollie makin’ any progress on that front?”
One side of Cash’s mouth kicks up. “We’re givin’ it a go.”
My heart twists. I’m gonna hate not being here for all of this. I know Sally will too.
But that just means we’ll be visiting Hartsville often. She loves my brothers as much as I do, and I know she’ll make every effort to be here for the big moments and the not-so-big ones too.
There are multiple major airports in Texas with multiple flights a day to and from New York. We’re going to make this work.
We have to .
And who knows? Maybe she and I will eventually end up back in Hartsville down the road. Her parents are here, too, and they’re going to want to have a hand in raising any babies Sally and I do have.
Because of course I want to have babies with Sally. Can’t believe I didn’t realize it was a possibility until now.
More than a possibility. A certainty. Because I am gonna make this work.
I am gonna make Sally my wife.
“I love y’all,” I say. “Thank you. For understanding. And for, well, putting up with me all these years.”
Cash gives me a look. “You definitely owe us. You were fuckin’ unhinged in your twenties.”
“Good thing I’m in my thirties now.” I pass the reins from my right hand to my left. “I got a favor I’d like to ask. Would y’all help me ask Sally?”
“To marry you?” Duke furrows his brow.
“I feel like I should ask her if she’d let me come to New York with her first and show her I have y’all’s blessing to move,” I say with a chuckle. “We’ve only been dating for, like, two and a half seconds.”
Ryder shakes his head. “But you’ve been friends for two and a half lifetimes.”
“Wyatt’s right.” Cash tips his hat in my direction. “Let’s not scare sweet Sally off by rushin’ things. When he bares his heart, it’s supposed to be a big, romantic gesture, not an ambush.”
“Agreed,” Sawyer says.
Cash flashes me a smile. “Lucky for you, Wyatt, I got some ideas.”