Chapter 7 Haven #2
I excuse myself to the bathroom—to pee, brush my hair, and take a full breath without the weight of a baby strapped to my chest. Lifting my hands over my head, I stretch tall and wait for my spine to crack back into position, then bend at the waist to touch my toes, though it’s a struggle.
My whole body has been stiff for too long.
When I slip back into my seat, I don’t think Alex has moved. Neither has Everly.
So I finish up the croissant I started eating before I left and watch them, observing how perfectly they fit together.
Since I discovered I was pregnant and made the decision to find Alex, I wondered what this moment would be like. Notwithstanding the initial meeting by the fountain, this is how I pictured it.
Only better.
And a tiny piece inside me heals from having spent the past few months alone. It’s worth it.
I’m content to watch them bond. Every so often, Alex looks at me and smiles, and I remember exactly how I ended up with Everly in the first place.
“How’s your store?” Alex breaks the silence, his voice low enough to be a whisper.
“It’s good. It’s closed right now.”
“Because you’re here?”
I shake my head and swallow a mouthful of hot chocolate.
“No, I’m here because it’s closed. I kept it open during the summer, but the last month I was pregnant, it was too hard.
I was super tired, and Everly wasn’t easy to carry.
Fall’s always quieter anyway, but I decided I wasn’t going to do any of the tree harvesting this year.
Therefore, no trees to sell at Christmas. ”
It was a tough decision.
I spent every day of the past five years busting my ass to pay off my parents’ debts, and I’d just become debt-free.
But the Christmas season is demanding, and it requires work all hours of the day.
I couldn’t have done that with Everly, and I wasn’t willing to compromise our time together.
So I used what little savings I had to get us by, along with a couple of shifts in the Old Saloon before she was born, and a credit card.
But on the nights when she’d keep me awake moving in my belly, and I was too hot to sleep or get any way comfortable, I’d panic. Then panic some more.
Because I had no clue how we were going to survive.
It was after one of those nights that I contacted the broker about selling my parents’ place and land. But I couldn’t do it. Even for one hundred million dollars.
It’s a sum so inconceivable to me that not having it was easier than having it. There’s a responsibility that comes with money that size, and it was too terrifying to consider seriously.
“It was a hard pregnancy?”
“Yeah. And a hard birth. I was in labor for forty hours. I needed all the drugs.” I laugh, something I can do now. Sort of. Sometimes.
“Were you alone?”
I shake my head. “No, Saylor was my birthing partner. Joe and Martha were in the waiting room.”
Alex’s deep blue eyes meet mine, the sorrow behind them obvious. “Haven, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I didn’t help.”
There’s an underlying tone to his words. He’s sad he missed it all, that I excluded him, and truthfully, I am too. I took an experience from him because of my own stubbornness in admitting I couldn’t do everything by myself.
And I’m quiet when I respond, “Yeah, me too.”
I wonder if he’s going to say any more when he groans suddenly. “Oh God.”
“What? Did she poop?” I hold my hands out to take her back.
“No. It’s my mother and Clementine. I apologize in advance. My mother can be a little intense.” He grimaces. “I didn’t think they’d do this today, at least not quite so obviously. I’m sorry, Haven.”
“She’s your mom, Alex. She’s looking out for you.”
“Well, if you think that, then you might get on better with her than most people, although she took quite quickly to Holiday. Maybe it’s Americans she likes.”
I totally forget what we’re talking about because I still can’t believe his brother is dating Holiday Simpson. I watched her latest movie on the flight over. Tried to, anyway.
“She came into my store once, in Aspen. And now she’s here too. It’s so cool,” I say like the true fan girl I am, not that Alex is listening. He’s too distracted by his mother’s arrival.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll meet her soon too. But one thing at a time,” he mumbles as the bell above the door jingles.
Even if Alex hadn’t mentioned his mom was coming into the coffee shop, I’d have still been able to pick her out of a lineup because she looks exactly like Clementine will in forty years. I can see so much of her in Alex too—same cheekbones, full lips, and strong, determined brow.
Even though she’s dressed in slacks and a cozy sweater, aside from a huge diamond on her ring finger, she’s relatively understated, which makes her appear even more distinguished.
I’m halfway raised out of my seat before I drop back down, unsure about what to do. What’s the etiquette? How do I greet her? And as Alex is still holding Everly, I can’t even use her as the barrier between us.
In the end, Clementine saves me by squeezing in next to me and pulling me in for a one-shoulder hug.
Alex’s mom doesn’t speak immediately. Her eyes travel over Alex and down to Everly, where they stop. She studies my unusually quiet daughter in her son’s arms, and then says, “Gosh, she looks just like you did as a baby.”
“Told you,” mutters Clementine.
I didn’t even know I was that tense, but the relief I feel at her statement has my body loosening. When she turns to me, sending the full force of a smile my way—one which doesn’t quite reach the eyes—I know I’m going to have my work cut out for me in winning her over.
“Hello, you must be Haven. I’ve heard a lot about you from my sons.
I’m Victoria Burlington.” Her tone is crisp and brusque, and for the first time, I’m thankful for the experience of dealing with hundreds of snooty customers in my store, the bakery, and especially the Old Saloon when I’m helping out Joe.
The temptation to get up and curtsy is strong, but I manage to stay seated and smile instead. A genuine one. “I am. Yes. It’s good to meet you.”
A thick brow raises. “Even if the circumstances are less than ideal.”
“Mum.” Alex’s voice is low with warning.
I shake my head. “It’s okay. I get it. You’re right, they are less than ideal. Nothing about this is ideal.”
Alex and Clementine are silent while their mother holds my stare, and I deliver the lines I’ve been practicing since before I arrived. Though I did think I’d be saying them to Alex, not his mom. But, whatever. He’s here too.
“I understand that you’d be protective. I’m happy to have Everly take a paternity test for you, and I’m not asking for anything from Alex. I’m not here for me, I’m here for my daughter. I lost my parents when I was a teenager, and I don’t want her to miss out on the opportunity to have two.”
Victoria’s lips roll and purse, but she seems satisfied with my answer. Especially when she says, “Then if you’re happy to come now, we’ve arranged for our family doctor to meet us at Alex’s house.”
“Mother,” Alex hisses. “Absolutely not, this can wait.”
I shake my head, holding my hand up to stop any more objections. “No, it’s okay, let’s go. I prefer to get it over with.”
Alex tuts loudly and glares at his mother, but stands anyway.
I’m expecting to put Everly back in her harness, but he insists on carrying her, so I wrap her up in a blanket and tuck her in.
I have no idea what a paternity test entails, but I hope it’s quick, and we can get through it without a meltdown, because she’s still wide awake, and I know she’s going to want to eat soon.
The route we walk along Valentine High Street takes us past the bar where I first bumped into Alex and down to the fountain. Instead of turning left toward Miles’s cottage, we go right, and a little way up the road, we come to another charming house.
Pale brick, with large black-framed windows and a thatched roof with two chimneys at either end.
The rose bushes I’ve been seeing everywhere are once again in abundance.
Around the edges of the large front yard run a row of fruit trees, with no fruit on them, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping a goat from stripping the branches of what little is left.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Alex grumbles before yelling, “Churchill, will you fuck off.”
The goat lifts his head, regards him for a moment, then carries on munching away like nothing ever happened.
Alex’s mom tuts loudly and mumbles something I don’t catch while Clemmie giggles.
“Whose goat is that?” I ask.
“Mrs. Winston’s. It’s always out. He’s the most sociable but greedy resident of Valentine Nook. The trees around here are more heavily guarded than the Tower of London once they start blooming. Otherwise, Churchill will eat everything in sight.”
I suck the inside of my cheek, pulling in a smile at how annoyed he is, and follow him along the paved path, stopping at a black front door. A huge silver knocker in the shape of a fox sits in the middle.
“Is this your place?” I ask Alex.
He nods, stepping aside to let me in first. “Yes, welcome.”
I expect it to be like Miles’s—organized chaos, but it’s, well, organized. Thick, dark-stained floorboards stretch the length of the hallway, covered with a pale, striped runner, and a wide staircase is off to the left. The faint scent of oak and leather lingers in the air.
I follow Clemmie and her mom until we reach a large kitchen at the back, where a man is setting up a tray with rubber gloves, Q-tips, and cotton balls.
“Jesus, Mother,” Alex grumbles from behind me and tips his chin to the man. “Hi, Oliver.”
“Alex.” He nods. “How’re you doing?”
“Fine. Let’s get this over with, shall we?” Alex snaps and sits down, his eyes finding mine, again with an apology. “Haven, this is Oliver Evans, our family doctor.”
Dr. Evans gives me little more than a basic acknowledgement, and I do my best to smile back from where I’m standing next to Alex as his mom and Clementine move to the opposite side of the kitchen.
I know this has to happen. I know they’re just protecting Alex, but something about the cavalier way they’re going about it makes my skin prickle.
“Wait.” Panic rises like bile in my throat when Dr. Evans snaps on a pair of latex gloves. “You’re not drawing blood from her, are you?”
He shakes his head. “No, just a simple cheek swab will suffice, and we’ll do the same for Alex. The results will be back in forty-eight hours.”
Everly is still wide awake in Alex’s arms and barely throws out a small squeak of objection when the doctor gently pushes in a Q-tip to wipe against the inside of her mouth.
“You next,” he says to Alex, securely fastening Everly’s swab inside a forensic bag, but before I let him repeat the process, I block his path. My anxiety is getting the better of me.
“I’m going to take her now. She needs to be fed.”
Carefully, Alex hands her over. “You can go in the snug. Down the hall on the left where the television is.”
I hurry off, not wanting to stick around and wait for Alex to be done. Or listen to them discussing what happens next, talking about me behind my back.
Finding the room, I settle down onto the couch and maneuver myself into position for her to latch on. My sweater is big enough that I can pull it over the top of her to cover us both and still see her if I look down.
“You were so brave,” I whisper even though she barely noticed what happened. “I’m so sorry we had to do that.”
Everly glances up at me, her big blue eyes wide as if to say, “No worries, Mama.” She flutters her lashes a couple of times until they close for good, and I find my own growing too heavy to keep open.
When she finishes on one side and I switch her over, Alex is leaning against the doorframe, all long legs and Ralph Lauren ad vibes. It’s the exact thought I had the first time I saw him standing at the jukebox in the Old Saloon. Along with that guy is so hot.
And now we have a baby together.
He startles as our eyes lock together, like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“You didn’t.”
He steps forward slowly and perches on the end of the couch. As he stares at her feet sticking out from my sweater, I can tell he’s got something to say, so I wait.
“Don’t go back to Aspen tomorrow. Stay here a little longer. Stay here with me, and we can work out a plan.”
Well, it sure as shit wasn’t that.
Moving in with Alex was not on my bingo card for coming to England. And for reasons I should probably figure out, the first thing that pops into my head is Alex seeing me naked.
I am not ready for that.
He notices me hesitate, and I pray to God he can’t read my mind.
“You and Everly will have your own room. This house is big enough for all of us.” He waves his arm around. “But she’s my daughter too, and I want a chance to get to know her. And I want to support you.”
My daughter.
I glance down at her, gulping away. “You don’t want to wait for the paternity test to come through first?”
He shakes his head, resigned. “No, I don’t need to hear the results to know what it’ll say. C’mon, give me two weeks, Haven, and I’ll take you back to Aspen myself. Please. Let me help. We can’t figure everything out in twenty-four hours.”
Help. It’s that one word again that pricks my ears. And I suppose he does need to get to know his daughter. And he’s correct—we can’t do everything we need to do in twenty-four hours.
Which is why I find myself saying yes, along with thinking that paternity test or not, for the first time since I discovered I was pregnant, I wonder if there might be a slim chance everything will turn out okay.