Chapter 13
Haven
“Ican’t believe the massage therapist had to wake me up.” My face falls in my hands. “That’s so embarrassing.”
“It happens all the time.” Clementine giggles, but in the compulsory hushed tone that one does in a spa, even though we have the place to ourselves.
“Once I was with one of my girlfriends on holiday in the South of France, and she snored through the whole thing. I could hear her in the next room. It was like a pneumatic drill.”
“Okay, I wasn’t that bad.”
Our laughter bounces off the tiled walls, evidence in surround sound that I’m relaxed. Happy. Freer even, but I know it has nothing to do with this spa.
“Falling asleep is a compliment.” Holiday yawns, pushing her lavender-soaked eye mask up, as she stretches out her body the full length of the lounger. “It means they’ve done their job in relaxing you.”
Easing up on my elbows, it’s hard not to stare, because this is a woman I’ve only ever seen on the screen, or on billboards and magazines, and she’s every bit as perfect in person.
Long, toned limbs, perfect smooth skin. I’m very conscious of the fact that my wearing a bathing suit is the most naked I’ve been in front of a person since the last time I had sex—and had a baby—and I probably wouldn’t have chosen one of the world’s most beautiful actresses to do it in front of.
Or Clemmie, who’d look good in a trash bag.
Fortunately, I’m too relaxed to care. Even the mom guilt I felt at leaving Everly has reduced itself to around 25 percent. And I can live with 25 percent.
I’ve decided I’m not a mom today, I’m not a slave to a tiny little love terrorist.
I’m just Haven, and I’m enjoying myself.
We’re three hours into our treatments, where we’ve already been scrubbed and massaged to within an inch of our lives, followed by a facial that left me with skin as soft as Everly’s.
And after our massages, we were sent to the pool area—built like an ancient temple—where glasses of cucumber water were laid out for us.
It’s so fricking tranquil it’s no wonder I fell asleep. I can barely keep my eyes open now.
“That’s a very good point, Hol.”
“Thank you.” Holiday’s lips twitch with amusement. “I have been known to make them sometimes.”
My smile stretches wider. I’m going to need my cheeks massaged. Aside from falling asleep on the table, I’ve had a smile on my face since yesterday afternoon, when Alex told me about my surprise, and I got over my initial trepidation about spending time away from Everly.
“How d’you think Alex is coping?” asks Clementine.
The dial on the mom guilt creeps up to 30 percent, because I haven’t thought about them in terms of coping or worrying if they’re getting along okay, but maybe I should have. I’ve only been thinking about Alex and the way he looks at her, the way he’s taken to being a father in two short weeks.
How he’s stepped up to the plate quicker and more adeptly than I ever expected him to.
Better than I did at becoming a mom, that’s for sure.
I knew they’d be okay together. And Alex wouldn’t be coping, he’d be excelling.
I’m the one who copes.
Things that took me weeks to figure out, Alex has managed in mere hours. Like the way to hold Everly so she takes her bottle without throwing it up afterward, or changing her diaper without her screaming the house down, or how to get her into her crib without waking her up.
The ugly truth is that Alex is a better parent in two weeks than I’ve been in two months. But on the flip side, my confidence continues to grow, and that’s because of him. Now that I have him helping, I’m less of a frazzled mess, and my brain fog is lifting.
“Awesome, no doubt. But he said he was going to call your brothers.”
“They’re going to the pub for lunch.” Holiday scooches off her lounger and perches on the edge of the pool closest to us.
There are five in total, all of different temperatures.
I dipped my toe in the smallest one, which happened to be freezing cold, and decided to seek refuge on the cozy lounger. “All the boys, Max and Everly.”
“That’s going to be chaos.”
Clemmie raises her glass of cucumber water. “As long as we don’t have to clean up the mess, they can make as much of it as they want.”
“Amen.”
“This was such a good idea of his.”
I sit up, as abruptly as I’m able in my relaxed state, and shoot her a bemused look. “This was Alex’s idea?”
Clementine nods. “Yes, he asked me to bring you here because, and I quote, ‘she’s a new mum. It’s incredibly stressful.’ Actually begged me is more accurate.”
“Huh.” I lay back on the lounger. “I thought you were inviting me.”
“Nope. All Alex.”
My heart rate accelerates. I’m suddenly hot. Hotter than I already was, wrapped in a thick robe, lying in a steamy pool room. Of course, Alex noticed that I’m tired and stressed out, and he went out of his way to ask his sister to bring me here.
Because he’s kind, and generous and thoughtful.
And it doesn’t help the tugging in my pelvis that seems to be intensifying by the day.
“What’s it been like living with him? He’s not as messy as Miles, I know that much, but he’s never lived with anyone before, so I don’t know how housetrained he is.
” Clemmie’s nose turns up in disgust. “He doesn’t walk around naked or anything, does he?
Though, again, that’s more Miles’s MO I’d imagine. ”
I laugh, though there’s nothing remotely funny about Alex naked.
A couple of times since our first morning, I’ve come down to the kitchen and caught sight of his bare back before he disappears into the laundry room to fetch a sweater.
I have no idea why all his sweaters are downstairs, or what happens to them after he’s taken them off, but I haven’t wanted to ask in case he stops.
The sight of a still sleepy Alex, running fingers through his hair while he stands by the coffee machine, should be on Pornhub. And I’m a glutton for punishment because watching him, even for half a minute, has me wanting to climb him.
Something that’s a bad idea for so many reasons.
Even if I can’t remember what they are.
But I shake my head instead of telling his sister all that, because while I think Clemmie’s cool and all, I’m not about to divulge my sexual fantasies about her brother. “No, we’re good.”
“So you guys aren’t thinking of starting things up again?”
My mouth opens to respond, hoping one of those aforementioned forgotten reasons comes to me, only for her to keep talking.
“Sorry . . . sorry. I’m being nosy—”
“No, it’s okay.” I wave her off while deciding what to tell her without opening a whole can of worms. “We’re keeping things as friends for Everly’s sake.”
Friends.
It’s such a benign word. Like the more you say it, the weirder it sounds because it’s morphed into something else so it’s no longer just friends.
“Probably a good idea.”
I hum, though it sounds unconvincing. “And we’ve got ourselves into a groove, but we leave in two days, and then I’ll have to find a new routine,” I add with a groan.
The excitement on Clemmie’s face drops, and I know how she feels. “But isn’t Alex going with you?”
“Yeah, to help with Everly’s things. He’ll stay for a few days, but we haven’t figured out how things will be on a more permanent basis.”
I know it’s a conversation we’ve both been avoiding.
Me, because I truly don’t know where to start. And, to be honest, I don’t know what I want.
“Well, I guess if you’re both happy being friends, it’s a million times better than Hendricks and Max’s mum. Plus, I have to say it’s nice to see Alex happy this time of year.”
“Because Christmas is coming?”
“Yup. He becomes more and more moody, before disappearing completely and returning at the new year with a fantastic tan. I’ve tried to persuade my mother for us all to go away for the holidays, but she likes to spend it at Burlington.
Plus, there’s too much to do. Everyone has the day off, so we’re usually out with the animals—”
“Alex disappears?”
She nods. “I mean, not like a magician or anything. But he doesn’t like to spend Christmas at Burlington because of our father’s death.”
I knew Alex hated Christmas because of what happened to his dad, but I didn’t know that he wasn’t in Valentine Nook for Christmas.
“Who does he spend it with?”
“Alone.”
Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year, and the thought of Alex purposely alone makes me so sad that before I know it, I’m crying, and it has nothing to do with baby hormones. Clemmie immediately jumps off her lounger onto mine and pulls me into a hug.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t.” I sniff. “And why are you apologizing? Your dad died too.”
“I know. But I was too small to remember him. To be honest, it’s a miracle I haven’t grown up with a daddy complex.”
She’s so flippant that I’m soon laughing through my tears.
“I don’t know how much he’s told you, but no one else blames Alex for his death.
We all lost our dad, but now we lose Alex at a time when we’d really love to have him around.
” She pauses and takes a breath. “Anyway, I guess I’m saying thank you because he’s not been such a miserable twat this year. ”
I chuckle along with her, though my mind is now on Christmas and what I can do for Alex to make it easier.
How I can help over the next month like he’s helped me these past two weeks.
Maybe I can suggest we spend it together, and if he wants to leave Valentine Nook, Everly and I could go with him so he’s not quite so alone this year.
I’m trying to figure it out when Holiday moves from the pool to join us on the lounger. “What are your plans for Thanksgiving?”
“We’ll be back in Aspen. I usually spend all the holidays with my best friend and her family, but they’re going to visit the East Coast this year, so it’ll just be Everly and me.” I wonder if I should ask Alex to stay with us. He’s certainly one of the things I’m thankful for. “What about you?”
“My parents are in Maine. My siblings and I will be home for it, and Lando’s coming too. His first American Thanksgiving.” She laughs, shaking her head. But there’s a twinkle in her eye. “And the first time he’ll be meeting my whole family. I’m expecting to be single by the end of it.”
“No way. If anything, Lando would disown us and move to America just to be with you.” Clemmie scoffs, reaching for her glass.
The pink in Holiday’s cheeks deepens, and she offers a coy shrug, but it belies a confidence in knowing how much Lando loves her.
It’s nice having another American around because since I’ve been in Valentine Nook, I’ve realized that although I speak the same language as everyone I’ve met, we do not speak the same language.
There are so many things I want to ask her about her time here, but I don’t want her to think I’m prying.
In the end, I go with, “How are you finding the long distance between you?” because that’s the one thing I need advice on.
Holiday tucks her legs up and hugs them to her chest. “It’s new.
I took the summer off, and I’ve been here since June.
I only went back to work a few weeks ago, and we’re getting used to the travel right now.
I fly back to LA the day after tomorrow for work, then to Maine, then to Shanghai, then back to London.
We haven’t decided where we’ll be for the holidays, but after New Year’s, I’m moving here permanently, so we just have to cope for a couple of months.
That’s what I keep telling myself anyway,” she adds, with a light laugh.
“Wow.”
I thought I was tired, but listening to Holiday, I don’t know how she’s not permanently in zombie mode from all the time differences.
And maybe I could cope with a couple of months of travel before we settled on one place, but this is different.
Alex and I have lives that cement us on opposite sides of the world.
But instead of worrying about it until my brain hurts, I push it away for another time, because that’s the point when one of the spa staff enters the pool room and walks over to us.
“Ladies, if you’d like to come with me, we’re ready for your hand and feet treatments.”
I turn to Clementine. “We’re doing manis and pedis too?”
“Yes, head to toe. Told you, Alex’s treat.”
Dipping my chin, I hide my smile as the familiar warmth creeps over me, and the three of us ease to standing, like it’s the hardest thing in the world to do.
“Don’t know about you,” Holiday whispers, putting down her empty cucumber water glass. “But after this, I also vote we go and find a proper drink.”
“Definitely,” adds Clemmie in a loud whisper. “Any extension on girl time is good with me.”
I smile and nod to both as we leave the pools for our treatment room. And as lovely as today has been, I’m not thinking about extending girl time. I’m wondering whether I can come up with an excuse to get back to Everly.
And her father.