Chapter 22
Alexander
“Do you know what today is?”
I wait for Haven to open an eye, but she’s groggy. We both are. Neither of us has caught up since the night Everly was sick because we’re both so paranoid it’s going to happen again.
We also have her sleeping back with us again, just in case, which makes it worse because I flinch at every sound.
On the flip side, lounging in bed and sleeping late isn’t something I’ve done in a while because I like to get up and out. But there’s something to be said for a cup of coffee on the bedside table while you scour the papers or read the book you’ve spent the best part of six months trying to finish.
Add a happy and exceptionally hot girlfriend and my baby daughter into the mix, and I’d be content to stay in bed all day.
As long as I have Everly and Haven, I don’t ever need to leave the house. We exist in a perfect bubble of three. Surprising for someone who used to love his own space and crave the solitude being alone gives you, but there you go. I’m not going to question it.
“Sunday?” she answers eventually.
I stifle a laugh. For someone who used to get up at the crack of dawn to work a million jobs, my girl’s definitely not a morning person. Watching her wake up has become one of my favorite things because no matter how much sleep she’s gotten, it’s akin to seeing a bear come out of hibernation.
All wobbly and adorably confused at what’s going on around them.
She can’t see my smile, but I know she can hear it when I try again. “Yes, what else?”
“I’m too tired to guess.” She groans, one eyelid easing open, and groans again. “Why are you looking so cheery?” Her nostrils flare slightly as she inhales. “And why can I smell cinnamon?”
Twisting around, I pick up the plate of cinnamon buns I ran out for this morning and waft it under her nose. “I went to the bakery.”
This time, her other eye opens, and she lifts her head to examine the plate. “Is that a cinnamon bun?”
Wiping sleep from her eye, I reply, “Might be.”
“You’ve already been out? What time is it?” she asks, pushing her mop of golden hair away from her forehead. “Where’s the baby?”
Snagging the tie off her wrist, she twists everything into one hand and fastens it on top of her head.
Except she didn’t get all of it in, she never does, and the remaining strands frame her face perfectly.
A wide yawn follows it, arms stretched above her head, before she bashes the pillow, props it behind her, and leans back with a deep frown.
It’s a whole process.
She’s also taken to wearing my T-shirts to bed, and I fucking love it, especially because they’re too big, like now with the neck slipping down to expose a stretch of collarbone.
I’m unable to resist the temptation to press my lips to her skin, or the little “mmm” that slips from her lips when I do.
Breathing in the hint of lavender left over from last night, I reply, “Nine thirty. And in answer to your question, yes. Everly and I went together. She’s been fed, and I just put her down for her nap.”
“So are you going to tell me what’s going on, why you’re looking at me like all your Christmases came early?” She pauses and pulls my head back up so she can look at me, eyes wide. “Wait, is it Christmas? Did I sleep for two weeks?”
I shake my head. “Nope. Want to try again?”
I’m still holding the plate with the cinnamon bun. Haven swipes her finger through the sticky glaze on top, puts it in her mouth, and lets out a soft, pensive, “Hmm.”
“Want a hint?”
“Yes, please.”
“I was standing by the jukebox.”
She frowns while she tries to figure it out. “The day we first met?”
“Yes.”
“Wait. That’s today?”
I nod, holding the plate farther out. “Happy anniversary, baby.”
Haven’s face screws up, and her head tilts. I can tell she’s really trying to hold in her amusement. It’s when her lips curl in and she’s rubbing them together that I know she can’t hide it much longer.
A loud laugh explodes from her as she grabs my face and pulls me in for a kiss. I take enormous pleasure in the way her fingers scratch through my beard. There’s a belonging to it. A familiarity that rings true. That I’m hers.
And we’re a we.
“You are the most adorable man I’ve ever met,” she mumbles against my lips. “Happy anniversary, Alex. What a year.”
“What a year.”
“Thank you for this.” Her teeth sink into the still warm dough. “Mmm. I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything.”
I watch her enjoying each mouthful, licking the sugar off her fingers after every bite, then pass her the coffee I made to wash it all down.
And when she’s done, I open the bedside drawer, pick up the brown manila envelope, and lay it on her lap.
Her eyes drop. “What’s that?”
My fingers drum while I ride the wave of adrenaline pushing up from my belly.
It arrived yesterday. I had planned to wait until Christmas to give it to her, but as confident as I was feeling in our relationship, if she said no to what I was offering, I didn’t want something else associated with the day, given that I already have a complicated relationship with it.
I didn’t want this to feel equally shitty. I needed it separate. I needed a new beginning and a happy ending.
“It’s something I want to talk to you about.”
Sticky fingers are forgotten, and Haven pushes to sit a little straighter. “Okay.”
“I don’t know if I ever told you, but I’ve always wanted to become a father.
I guess because I lost mine so young. But I never had any idea when that would happen.
It was abstract, something for a point in the future.
” Picking up her hand, I sandwich it between mine.
“This year, when you were gone . . . it was . . . well, I wasn’t sure I’d ever see you again.
But you came back with Everly, and my future became my present.
You’ve given me a happiness I never knew existed. ”
Haven’s entire body softens. “Alex.”
“There’s no other way of saying it, but I love you.
I’m in love with you. I’m in love with our daughter.
And the thought of being apart . . . I’m not doing it again.
I know I never got over you, which is why this year’s been so miserable for me.
” I take a breath, swallowing down the lump in my throat, and gesture to the envelope.
Easing her thumb under the metal tab, she pries it open and tugs out the document inside. I don’t breathe as her eyes scan the words, her brows knitting together with each line she reads because every few seconds, they flick up to mine.
“Alex, what is this?”
“I know you don’t want to sell the ranch because you want to keep it for Everly.
But I also know that you’re worried about going back to Aspen and working again.
” She opens her mouth to protest but doesn’t get far when I hold a finger to her lips.
“I see it, Haven. In your face, I see you worrying every time we talk about going to Aspen, or the ranch, your store . . . and this”—I tap the paper—“is a solution for you to think about.”
Her eyes drop to the page again.
“This is an offer I’ve had drawn up, with the asking price for Wylder Ranch, which I will buy.
But . . . it goes into a trust for Everly.
All of it. I don’t have any ownership rights, and I added a clause about development.
So whether we stay together or not, you get the money and the ranch, you get to secure your future, and in turn secure Everly’s. ”
Her eyes shoot up to mine, blazing in concern.
“You don’t think we’re going to stay together?” she spits out, and it’s all I can do not to laugh in her face. My lips twitch because of all the things I thought she’d focus on, us staying together wasn’t it.
As far as I’m concerned, that’s not even an option. Haven, Everly, they’re my future. My endgame. I’m done.
“I’m serious. You don’t think we’re going to stay together,” she repeats, her jaw flexing. I can see she’s getting more annoyed, especially when I can’t stop laughing.
I lean forward, my mouth finding hers so I can kiss the irritation away. It’s like I haven’t just told her I love her. “Yes, I think we’re going to stay together. I want to stay together, and that’s something else we need to talk about.”
Her eyes narrow, and she waits.
“How would you feel about me moving to Aspen? We’re living on the ranch together—”
“You want to move to Aspen? Your home is here.”
I shake my head because, along with falling hopelessly in love with her, there’s something else I’ve realized. “My home is where you and Everly are.”
“But how would it work with your office?”
“I spoke to Lando. We’ve been wanting a North American base for a while. We think Colorado would be a good place to start.”
“But what about your mom? Clemmie and the twins, the dogs, Blackberry? Churchill?”
“I’m sure they’ll manage without me. Churchill will steal someone else’s apples.”
She slumps back, and panic rises in her face. It makes me wonder if I have this all wrong. I’ve read it all wrong.
“Hey, it’s just an idea,” I blurt. “I’m trying to find solutions for us to be together because long distance isn’t going to work for me. I don’t want to be apart from you.”
“Can you pass me my phone, please?”
Twisting around, I tug it free of the charger and hand it over. She swipes it open, and I wait while she scrolls down to whatever it is she’s looking for.
I’m not entirely certain what I’m reading when she hands it over, but it’s an official government email with the words “Application for Name Change.”
Now it’s my turn to be confused. “You’re changing Everly’s name?”
Haven shakes her head. “No, I’m adding yours. It’s the birth certificate, so you’re officially her father.”
Beyond the conversation we had the first day they moved in, Haven and I haven’t discussed Everly’s name at all.
I haven’t felt the need to. My mind’s been too occupied trying to put together a plan for buying the ranch, so knowing that Haven’s been doing this anyway hits me like a high-speed train.
The rush of emotion is so overwhelming that before I know what’s happening, Haven’s wiping my tears away.
“I love you too, Alex. Our daughter’s obsessed with you. Of course, I want her to have your name.”
“Really?”
Her hand finds my face, and her eyes soften. “Yes, really.”
“And what about the ranch?”
“Alex, I don’t need one hundred million dollars.” She rolls her eyes and bursts out laughing. “I mean, I don’t . . . what would I even do with that much money?”
The first person I’ve ever met who’d turn down one hundred million dollars. Man, do I love this woman.
“Invest it. I can show you.”
“One hundred million, though. What about fifty?”
“You’re a terrible businesswoman.” I shake my head, but I’m smiling.
Scooching into her, I tuck her knees between mine, looping us together.
“You don’t have to decide now, but I want you to know it’s an option for you.
And I also want to reassure you that in no universe do I not see us together.
That can be in Aspen or anywhere you want. ”
“Okay.” She tilts her chin up, angling for a kiss, and I’m only too happy to oblige. “I’ll think about it.”
My hands inch under her tee, skate over her smooth belly up to where I can feel her heart beat under my palm. “That’s all I ask.”