Chapter 16
While I wouldn’t say that things between Kaynaan and me were strained, they were definitely different.
The vibe that had once been easy and light was decidedly heavier.
And I knew that I made it that way with my skittish behavior and my inability to just talk to him when something was bothering me.
It was so dumb. I didn’t know how to fix things between us.
I didn’t know how to get him to . . . invest in the possibility of us again.
I had burned him twice. If I was him, I wouldn’t trust me either.
He was good about saying that I was his. I wanted him to not just have to say it; I wanted him to feel it. I wanted him to feel that I was his, that I was willing to give myself to him. I wanted him to be my future, but what would make him believe that?
Christmas was less than a month away, and each week seemed busier than the last. We had a doctor’s appointment today, his grandfather’s birthday on Saturday, and the Coyotes had a home game on Sunday. Almost his entire family had come into town for the weekend to celebrate.
Kaynaan invited me to the game. They were going to be in the suite, and he knew how much I enjoyed it. But his grandmother would be there. There was no way I would ever agree to be in the suite while she was there.
Her family owned the suite. She didn’t like me. I was an outsider. I didn’t feel like it was cool for her to have to be uncomfortable in the suite her family owned. So, I declined. I didn’t tell Kaynaan that I was declining because of her, but both of us knew that she was the reason I declined.
I was working diligently on my holiday orders, trying to get them all finished.
I had been knee-deep in glitter, paint, rhinestones, and glue every day this week, but not today.
The studio was already spotless when Kaynaan arrived to pick me up for the appointment.
He’d decided to be late for practice just to go with me, and that made me smile.
“Heads up, my mother’s in the truck. She really wants to go to this appointment with us,” he said as he walked into the studio.
A pit formed in my stomach. “Does she know—”
He cut me off. “She knows she’s getting a new grandbaby to love. You ready?”
The way he could be so confident . . . sometimes I didn’t know what to do with that. “I’m ready.”
“Let’s go.”
I zipped up my coat and took his hand. He took the key from me and locked up my studio.
We made small talk all the way to the doctor’s office.
Dr. Israel’s excitement was palpable. I had to tussle with the urge not to feel guilty.
This baby wasn’t her grandchild. But at the same time, if I was gonna be with Kaynaan, the baby would kind of be her grandchild.
It was too much, and it was messing with joy that came with finding out the baby’s gender, but I pushed it to the back of my mind.
After the appointment, Dr. Israel invited me to lunch.
Kaynaan dropped us off at the restaurant on his way to practice.
He told us that Axel would pick us up when we were ready to leave.
Before I got out of the car, he grabbed me and kissed me thoroughly, causing both my nipples to harden and butterflies to flutter inside my stomach. “Take care of my daughter.”
I couldn’t help grinning. He’d been so sure the baby was a girl, and when the tech confirmed it, I thought he would take off in flight. “I will.”
He kissed me again. “And take care of her mother, too. She’s my future.”
The grin remained plastered to my face. “I will.”
Dr. Israel and I walked into Kindred Soul Kitchen together. We were quickly seated.
“I hope this is all right,” she said, draping her coat and purse across the chair next to her.
“This is fine.” I did the same. “I love this place. They have really good food.”
“They do. Kaynaan brought us here the last time we were in Chicago, and I haven’t stopped thinking about the food.”
I picked up the menu, excited about what I would feed myself and my baby.
“So, I asked you here because I want to get to know you a little better, Wyndi. It was obvious to me at the game and again at Thanksgiving that my son is smitten with you. But today? He was practically levitating with joy about the impending bundle of joy.” She grinned at me over her own menu. “And don’t think that I can’t see why.”
I sighed silently. She liked me because she didn’t know all the baggage I was dragging with me.
“Listen, it’s not my style to beat around the bush.
You know I work with athletes, and sometimes I have to give them information and prognosis that changed the entire course of their lives.
So I’m not gonna sit here and play coy with you.
My mother-in-law came straight to our home on Friday morning, after she left Kaynaan’s place.
She was all upset because Kaynaan was not pleased with her about the way she handled the news of the pregnancy.
” She waved her hand dismissively. “She wanted us to speak to Kaynaan. Georgia Israel never cares about ruffling anybody’s feathers, .
. . except Kaynaan Israel’s. She doesn’t like her grandson having any reason to be mad at her. ”
My hand went to my heart. “Dr. Israel, I felt so badly about that. I never want to be the cause of anybody beefing with their family, but especially not Kaynaan.”
She grinned at me. “Do you love my son?”
I took my time before responding. “Love is a scary proposition for me. I’ve been in love before.
I’ve loved before. It ended so badly. One part of my brain doesn’t think the same thing will happen with Kaynaan, but the other part remembers the .
. . devastation. So, I have fear. And he seems so sure.
Which in theory should make me feel more secure, but it actually does the opposite and makes me more scared. ”
“I’m a bone doctor. I don’t claim to know a lot about the brain, but I can see that.
We have gotten off track. The first thing I wanted to do was congratulate you on the pregnancy.
” She banged her hands together in a silent happy clap.
“Unlike my mother-in-law, who cares about gossip and rumors, all I care about is having a baby to love on and spoil.”
The waiter showed up at that moment and took our orders.
I heaved out a heavy sigh. “Dr. Israel, I need to be completely transparent with you, before we go any further. One of the reasons that Kaynaan’s dedication to me is scary is because”—I took a huge breath—“he’s not this baby’s biological father.
” I rushed out the next word before she could speak.
“The father and I weren’t in a serious situation, and we had just ended things when Kaynaan approached me.
I had no idea I was pregnant when I went to homecoming with Kaynaan.
I liked him a lot and had a really good time with him.
I was open to seeing where something between us could go. Then I found out that I was pregnant.
“I told Kaynaan right away so he wouldn’t spend time investing in a dead situation. But instead of scaring him off, he was okay with it. Which I honestly thought was weird. But Kaynaan’s very—”
“Persuasive?” she questioned with a small smile.
“And likable and kind. I want to be with him, but not at the expense of him having issues with his family. Especially when the baby is not biologically related to any of you.”
She seemed to sit up straighter in her chair as she steepled her fingertips together.
“Since you’ve been so forthcoming and transparent with me, Wyndi, let me do the same with you.
But before I share, you need to know that Kaynaan and I talked.
I told him that I was going to ask you to lunch today.
He told me that he was all right with you knowing everything. ”
“Everything?”
She grinned. “Yes, everything. You think your life is too messy for you to deserve my son’s love.
Here’s the thing about Kaynaan: He doesn’t see your life as messy.
He sees your life as life. Life is messy, chaotic, unpredictable, ugly, and beautiful.
He knows you aren’t your current situation.
And I’m going to tell you how he knows that.
But before I speak, I want to reiterate that Kaynaan knows what we’re about to talk about.
My son is a famous professional athlete.
I never discuss his business with anybody.
And I mean anybody. There are parts of my son’s story that if they fell into the wrong hands could cause unnecessary scrutiny and speculation.
But he trusts you. He says you’ll keep what I’m about to tell you to yourself. ”
“I would never betray Kaynaan.”
“Me, I’ll be honest. I wanted you to sign an NDA.” She shook her head. “He wouldn’t hear it. As far as he’s concerned, you’re his future.”
My heart went pitter-patter.
“My husband was sheltered as a child. He was black, brilliant, and from a wealthy family. My in-laws sent him to all of the best schools, put him in all of the programs, and had high expectations for him. They sent him to college with the instruction that he was there to earn his degree, then come home and begin the process of learning the family business. Well, Jericho, God bless his heart, he went to college and did what most sheltered children do when they get a little freedom. He got buck wild.” She rolled her eyes, and I had to laugh.
“I could tell that Mr. Israel had a wild side to him. There’s always a little twinkle in his eyes like he can’t wait to make mischief,” I joked.
She rolled her eyes again but with no malice.
“That’s my Jericho. He’s nothing like his parents, and he’s paid the price for being his own man.
Anyway, while he was out there being for the streets, he met a young lady.
She was smart and had big hopes and dreams. She was from a poor family, though.
She was at Londynville University on a partial scholarship, along with her hopes and dreams.
“He liked her, but neither of them were looking to get serious. They were just hanging out. They were away at college being young and doing what young people do. Before long, she found herself pregnant. Jericho is an upstanding guy. It was the 1990s, and nobody expected him to marry her, but there was an expectation that he would support her and be a present father for his child. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that Georgia Israel acted a fool when Jericho brought this young lady home to meet her and his father. ”
“So, you and Mr. Israel were in the same predicament as Kaynaan and me?”
“Oh, I wasn’t the young lady in this story.”
My mouth fell open, and my jaw could’ve hit the floor. But before I could say anything, a set of two servers descended on our table with our plates. I tried to be gracious and wait patiently for them to put everything down and make sure that we had all the water, napkins, and condiments we needed.
When they finally moved away from the table, I looked over at her. “Let’s bless the food,” she said.
My exact thought was, fuck this food. But I bowed my head and blessed my food. “What? What do you mean the girl who was pregnant isn’t you?”
“No. Her name was Kenya. Georgia took one look at her and immediately decided that Kenya was a no-go. Behind Jericho’s back, she reached out to Kenya and offered her money to . . . disappear.”
“What?” This conversation was wild as hell.
“Kenya needed money. She was working on a dual degree of Spanish and Mandarin. She had dreams of traveling internationally and being a translator. College was her ticket out of a life of poverty and lack. She wanted to take the money, but she didn’t see how she would be able to raise a baby while she finished school or while she traveled after she got her degrees.
So, Georgia offered to arrange and pay for the abortion. ”
“This is so dramatic,” I commented as I lifted a forkful of food toward my mouth.
“Trust me, Wyndi. Whenever you find a family that’s had money for multiple generations, you best believe that there’s some juicy, crazy, appalling dirt in that story.”
“So, this baby she was carrying, it was Kaynaan, right?” I asked.
“Yes. Kaynaan’s biological mother was Kenya.”
“What happened?”
“When J found out about all of this, he was furious. He begged Kenya to have the baby. He told her that he would raise it and give it the best possible life. He promised her that she could be as involved or uninvolved as she wanted. She had the baby, took Georgia’s money, and left.
A week later, I was sent to the home of Jericho Israel by an exclusive agency to be the nanny of a newborn baby boy. ”
My eyes ballooned. “You were the nanny?”
“Yes. I was in medical school. I needed a job where I could have the necessary study time. While Kaynaan slept, I studied. Newborns sleep a lot.”
“Oh wow. What did Mrs. Israel have to say about Jericho marrying the help?”
She giggled. “Girl, she was not pleased. I’m sure he was the biggest disappointment in her eyes. First, he got the poor girl pregnant, then he married a different poor girl. Because let me tell you, when I was nannying Kaynaan, I didn’t have two nickels to rub together.
“But J and I spent a lot of time together. I felt like it was inevitable that we would fall for each other. I got to see exactly what kind of man and father he was. He got to see who I was. And he noticed how much I adored little Kaynaan. Georgia noticed, too, which is probably why she didn’t fight the relationship too hard.
She fought it, but when J told her to back off, she did.
As much as she didn’t like Kenya, Georgia has been enamored with Kaynaan since he took his first breath.
“She doted on him then, and she still dotes on him today. That’s the reason it hurt her so bad that he was pissed with her. She’s going to accept you, Wyndi. Because she can’t stomach what would happen if she doesn’t. Kaynaan would surely cut her off.
“So, please rest assured that you didn’t cause a break in their relationship. Their relationship can be tenuous, because of Georgia’s first concern always being what something looks like to others. He can’t stand that. He can’t stand her obsession with optics over people’s actual feelings.”
I smiled to myself. My baby was a man with a heart.
She reached across the table, and I put my hand in hers.
“The reason that paternity, circumstance, and all of that isn’t a dealbreaker for him, is because the mother who loves, cherishes, and adores him isn’t the one who birthed him.
He doesn’t care about blood ties, DNA, and stuff like that, Wyndi. Kaynaan cares about love.”