Chapter 13
DAMON
A shiver runs up my spine as I push the door to the library open and step out into the cool night. Glancing around the dark quad, I hurry down the steps and try to ignore the prickle of unease that’s been my constant companion for the past week.
Of course, there’s no one around me, but that’s not surprising considering it’s almost ten on a Friday and the library is in a part of campus that’s surrounded by academic buildings and not much else.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up when I reach the main path, and another shiver dances up my spine as the feeling of being watched intensifies.
I have no clue where this new paranoia came from, or why, but it’s fucking annoying, and I can’t seem to shake it no matter how many times I tell myself I’m being an idiot.
Logically, I know there’s no one watching me. Or at least there’s no one watching me from the shadows. I’m used to being stared at and whispered about behind my back, but this feels different.
It’s hard to explain, but it’s more focused, like someone is actually out there and watching me, and it’s not just the usual gossip and covert looks I get when I’m around other students.
And it’s constant. The only time I don’t feel it is when I’m in Romeo House. Every time I step outside my dorm, it’s there. It doesn’t matter if I’m in class or walking around or at one of the many communal areas of campus; that feeling is there.
It’s stupid. I know it’s stupid. There’s no reason anyone would be following me around and watching me, and I’ve never seen so much as an inkling that there actually is someone out there when I give in and look around.
There’s zero evidence that anything is going on, but that doesn’t stop my suddenly paranoid brain from believing there is.
Shaking off another prickle of unease, I quicken my steps and hustle toward Romeo House with my head down and my hands shoved deep in my pockets.
I’m nearly at the gate when my phone vibrates in my pocket, and I dig it out to check my notifications. A smile curls the corners of my lips when I see I have a text from Eden.
We haven’t seen each other since she saved my ass a month ago, but we’ve been texting on the regular, and she’s becoming a good friend.
Mostly her texts are about whatever gossip she’s overheard or her complaining about her living situation and the girls in her dorm. And lots of bitching about her stepbrother and the other two leaders of the Rebels.
It’s like when I text with Sophia and Isabella, my two oldest sisters. They, like Eden, don’t want advice or for me to fix anything for them; they just need someone to vent to so they feel like they’re being heard.
And as someone who has one friend, and that friend is now so busy being a good fiancé that he doesn’t have much time for me, I get it.
Eden: I hate valentines day
Being mindful of where I’m stepping so I don’t face-plant like a dumbass, I type out a response.
Damon: same. It’s the worst
Eden: at least your house doesn’t turn into a goddamn flower nursery for two weeks every feb
Eden: do you have any idea how much it sucks to be allergic to pollen and have your entire dorm filled to the brim with the ridiculous flower arrangements everyone sends your housemates and they just leave them around to show off how many admirers they have?
Damon: can’t say I do
Eden: well count your lucky stars because it sucks donkey balls
Eden: at least there’s lots of chocolate and other goodies around.
Eden: and since most of the girls here don’t eat chocolate or anything yummy, no one notices when I help myself to the many treats their admirers keep sending along with all the damn flowers
Damon: at least there’s an upside to the madness
Eden: do you think anyone would notice if I put salt in all of the vases while everyone is out tonight and took care of my allergy issue?
I pause at the main gate and tap my ID to log my entry.
Damon: I’d say that all of the flowers dying at once would definitely be sus
Eden: true. And you know they’d blame me. they always blame me
Damon: are you hanging out with Felix tonight?
Eden: yeah
Eden: I’m just waiting for him to unglue himself from killian and text me
Damon: it’s so weird that they’re together
I pause again to unlock the main entrance with my ID, then pull the heavy door open.
Felix and Killian have been dating for a few months now, and it’s not the fact that they’re stepbrothers that’s weird, it’s how they were mortal enemies for years and everyone on campus, even people like me who don’t follow gossip or give a shit about what goes on in the other frats, knew how much they hated each other.
At least they did until Thanksgiving, when things obviously changed between them, and they got together.
Eden: your telling me!
Eden: imagine listening to your bestie complain about his stepbro for *years* and watching them fight every time they’re in the same room together for literal *years*
Eden: then you find out over thanksgiving break that they don’t hate each other and they’re in love and the most adorable couple ever and can’t keep their hands off each other for more than a few minutes
Damon: that would be weird as hell
Eden: so weird
Eden: where are you?
Damon: just got back to the house. I was at the library
Eden: since when are you a nerd who studies on Friday nights?
Damon: since never. I wasn’t studying, I was escaping the house for a bit
Eden: why?
Damon: there was a pledge challenge tonight and I’m not in the mood to deal with that crap
Eden: was it one of the normal challenges like the scavenger hunts or task gathering things you guys like to do? Or was it one of those weird ones that you can’t tell me about because your frat is as freaky as the others?
Damon: well, it was normal by our standards
Eden: lol that means it was a freaky one
Eden: are you still going to the AV party tonight?
Damon: yup. Heading out after I change
I have to pause texting to open the door to the stairwell, and my phone vibrates in my hand while I take the steps two and a time.
When I’m on my floor, I unlock my phone and check my texts.
Eden: is it weird?
Damon: is what weird?
Eden: going to a party like that
Damon: depends on what you mean by weird
Digging my key out of my pocket, I unlock my room and go inside while she’s answering.
Eden: I mean it’s a party where the whole point is to get fucked up and get your freak on
Eden: and not even in private, but in front of other people if you want
I don’t tell her that it’s not any weirder than the other parties I’ve gone to where getting fucked up and fucking around is the goal for the evening.
Eden might be twenty, but she’s still incredibly naive when it comes to sex and relationships, and if the rumors are true, she’s also still a virgin. I have no clue what experience she has with men, but from our conversations, it doesn’t seem like a lot.
And she lives in Belmont House, a dorm that’s known for its purity culture, armed guards, and insane rules for keeping the girls who live there away from men and the temptations of sex. A hedonistic party would be weird for her.
Damon: yeah it’s weird
Eden: fucking finally
Damon: I take it Felix texted?
Eden: yup
Eden: have fun at your weird party
Damon: I’ll try
Damon: have fun with felix
She sends a kissy face emoji, which for her is just a friendly way of saying goodbye, and I wait to see if she sends another text.
When she doesn’t and my screen goes dark, I toss my phone on my bed and let out a heavy sigh.
I’m not in the mood to go to a party tonight, but it’s either go or spend the night alone in my room, and that’s an even less appealing option.
Normally I’d convince West to skip the party with me and do something else, but just like every weekend since his engagement, he’s off campus with McKenna.
I don’t know why, but I haven’t felt like myself since the semester started. I’m not depressed or anxious or anything like that, but things just don’t hit the same as they used to. Everything is just meh lately.
Peopleing is even more of a chore now, and I leave parties and events feeling drained and on edge. And I have even less patience for the everyday shit that goes on in the frat than usual.
And it’s not just social stuff that’s getting harder to deal with. I’ve always been able to get decent grades without studying or even trying, but I’ve been struggling to stay focused and keep on top of my workload, and my professors and TAs are starting to notice.
Even my usual vices aren’t doing it for me anymore, and I’ve had zero interest in hooking up with anyone, even though I’m never short on offers when I do venture out.
Maybe whatever is going on is because school is almost over and I only have a few months of freedom left before I have to be an adult and start working for my father.
Grimacing, I go into my closet and flip through a rack of my clothes to pick out something to wear. I don’t want to think about my father or my future right now, or ever, really. But definitely not now.
To say my father and I have a strained relationship would be the understatement of the century, and even though he’s given me opportunities and connections that people will literally kill for, it doesn’t erase the fact that he knocked up my mom when she was a teenager and he was a grown ass adult, or that he ignored me for the first eleven years of my life.
The only reason I’m even here and taking over the family business like a good heir is because of my sisters. I don’t give a flying fuck about any of this shit, but I love them, and I’ll do whatever it takes to stay in their lives.
They’re the only family I have left.
Pushing those thoughts out of my head, I flip through the small cluster of hangers on the rack.