Chapter 15
Chapter fifteen
Exactly forty-five minutes later, Xander and Essie sat at the corner table in Old Glory, a fire burning in the brick fireplace beside them.
He’d always liked the bar’s vibe, and since it wasn’t open yet, they had the place to themselves.
It seemed like just yesterday he’d sat there with his friends, laughing and drinking whiskey.
At the same time, it felt like forever since he’d been with the men he considered his closest and only friends.
Looking around the scarred wooden table, he realized how much he’d missed the banter.
The way they’d welcomed him into their dysfunctional fold.
Perhaps only because they didn’t know how thoroughly fucked-up he was on the inside.
How hellbent he was on revenge. To the point where it was the only thing he could think about.
It ate him up like acid, and other than finally destroying Barrera, he didn’t know how to deal with it. But when he looked over at Essie, an unsettling thought occurred to him. What if killing Barrera didn’t bring him peace of mind? What if it wasn’t enough to quiet his inner demons?
Across from him, Jayson turned his laptop around as it connected to General Mitch Evans.
On the plane ride home, Xander had heard all about Sabrina—the woman Jayson had met, fallen in love with and married recently.
While Xander had been stuck in his own hell on earth, Jayson exorcized his own demons to claim a bit of heaven for himself.
In fact, all of the men surrounding him seemed to be trading in their bachelor status for husband status. Even father status, he thought, glancing over at Chaz. He and Lottie were expecting a baby very soon, and he’d adopted Reya, Lottie’s little girl from a previous relationship.
Yeah, times were changing. But Xander couldn’t picture himself settling down with a woman.
His gaze slid to Essie who sat beside him, her hands folded so demurely on the dark wooden table.
Don’t even go there, Hawke. She deserves so much more than your twisted darkness.
She smiled at him, and something in his chest lurched. In such a short time, they’d developed such a complicated relationship. It made his head hurt, his heart curious and his dick ache.
“Good morning, gentlemen,” Mitch greeted in his deep, rumbly voice. His attention zeroed in on Essie. “Miss Barrera.”
The way he said her name made Xander shift closer to her. He didn’t like how Mitch looked at her like a pawn he was ready to play.
Nothing escaped the very perceptive man, and his attention moved over to Xander. “Welcome back, Hawke. It’s good to see you still alive and kicking.”
“Thanks,” he responded dryly.
“I hear you’re against me taking Miss Barrera into custody.” Leave it to Mitch to get straight to the point and not dick around.
“I think there’s a wiser course of action,” Xander said carefully.
“Which is?”
“End the Lazaro Cartel. For good.”
“And how exactly do you plan on doing that?” Mitch asked.
“By using Essie to lure out Barrera. Then we cut the head off the snake, kill as many of his soldiers and underlings as possible and send them scattering.”
“I think it might be wise to implement Plan B, too,” Brand suggested. “For good measure.”
“Blow up the bunker and mine?” Xander asked. Now they were talking.
“Hell yeah,” Chaz agreed, pumping a fist in the air.
“Divide and conquer. A couple of us can escort Essie to the meeting with Barrera—”
“I’m going,” Xander interrupted Brandon, voice firm.
Too eager. He cleared his throat, rolled his shoulders back.
Tried to appear more relaxed… and failed miserably.
“I need to go. Essie and Brand know why. Because—” All eyes focused on him and, suddenly, it felt like his throat swelled shut and he couldn’t get the words out. Dammit.
“Because he’s been hunting my brother,” Essie finished for him.
Beneath the table, she pressed her leg against his, and the gesture somehow reassured him.
She was protecting him from having to say the words.
Words that hurt his soul on every level because they shone a bright light on his biggest failure and the gut-wrenching guilt that haunted him.
“Ever since he murdered Xander’s sister. ”
All around the table, the men reacted with low curses, shaking their heads in sadness and disgust. Essie’s hand disappeared beneath the tabletop and reached for Xander’s, her delicate fingers wrapping around his and squeezing.
God, who was this woman? How could she sit there and comfort him—support him—when all he did was threaten to destroy her family?
“That explains a lot. Why you faked your death and went off grid.” Mitch studied Xander. “Revenge doesn’t always solve things, though.”
“Maybe not. But it’ll give me the peace I’ve been seeking.”
“I hope so.” Mitch turned his attention to Essie. And very carefully dropped his bombshell. “Are you aware your younger brother is back in Mexico?”
Her mouth dropped open at Mitch’s words.
Younger brother? Xander turned to Essie, brows furrowed. “I thought you said your other brother died?”
“Miguel did die, but I convinced José to send our youngest brother Tomás to boarding school in Europe.” Essie shook her head, clearly upset, and this time Xander squeezed her hand. “H-he can’t be back.”
“We picked up satellite images of him being driven from the airport to the bunker,” Mitch confirmed.
“This changes things,” Brandon muttered.
Essie tilted her chin up. “I need to get Tomás out of there. With or without your help.”
Xander exchanged looks with his teammates. His friends who were now so happy and in love with their women. Another trip to that bunker could turn into a suicide mission. An absolute clusterfuck. He couldn’t ask them to risk everything.
But he also hated seeing Essie so upset. She’d been through enough. Lost enough. Was about to lose even more.
“I’ll get him out for you.” Her gaze snapped to Xander’s, their hands tightening. His thumb circled the back of hers in a light, promising caress.
“How?” Mitch asked, voice laced in doubt. “I know you guys are good, but how do you plan to rescue Tomás, kill José, stop hundreds of narco soldiers and destroy the bunker? Seems a little ambitious, even for the Motley Crew.”
No one said anything. Then Essie spoke up. “We do what we planned. Except… You’re going to trade me for Tomás.”
“No,” Xander stated, voice flat. Firm. Completely unyielding. “Not happening.”
She let go of his hand, and he felt the loss bone deep.
“Xander, we agreed I’d be bait. You trade me and get Tomás to safety. Then blow it all up,” she added through clenched teeth.
“You left out the part about getting you back,” Xander reminded her. “And if you think we’re blowing anything up with you still there—”
“José will hand me over to the Cardenas brothers. I’ll be with them.”
“Even worse,” he hissed. Yeah, they had agreed she’d be the one to lure José to them. But handing her off to the Cardenas brothers? It didn’t sit right with him. He knew too much about the way they operated. Too much about their unsavory predilections.
“She could wear a tracker,” Lex suggested.
“Shut up, Battle,” Xander growled.
“He has a good point,” Mitch said. “I can use my sources to set up an exchange with Barrera—Essie for Tomás.”
“It’s too risky.” Xander crossed his arms.
“Since when are you averse to a little risk?” Essie asked, also crossing her arms. Facing off with him. “Aren’t you the one who went rogue and allowed himself to get captured?”
Fuck. Now she was spilling his secrets. But, God, she had balls, and he respected the hell out of her. So fearless when it came to the people she loved. So goddamn lovely it made his heart ache. He would’ve done the same for Alyssa—and she knew it. Telling her no would make him a hypocrite.
Still…
The idea of throwing her into the lion’s den made him sick. Yes, that’s what he’d originally wanted to do. But somewhere along the way, things had changed. And protecting Essie became more important than risking her life.
“Xander,” she whispered, reaching out and laying both her hands over his stubbornly crossed arms. In front of everyone. “I need to do this. And I know you understand.”
Everyone waited with bated breath as his silence drew out for at least a solid minute.
“Fine,” he finally relented through gritted teeth. “But you’ll wear a tracker and I’ll be coming for you.”
“I know,” she murmured with a small smile, then squeezed his arm and sat back.
No, she had no idea. No clue that she was turning his entire world upside down. Making him care about something more than his godforsaken revenge.
Making him care about her.
“I’ll set up the trade,” Mitch said.
His team started talking, throwing out different plans, but Xander could only see Essie. The rest faded away. “You’re full of secrets, aren’t you?” he asked in a low voice meant only for her.
“Just like you,” she tossed back.
God, they were two peas in a pod. Each with their own agenda, yet somehow inexorably bound together by the most delicate of threads. And it was a precious strand of gossamer he never wanted to break.
The meeting continued a while longer until they came up with a game plan. One which included them all staying together when it came time to meet Barrera. The time to blow shit up could come later.
Now, the only thing they could do was wait for Mitch’s contact to set up the exchange. It could take hours or several days. All Xander knew was his time with Essie would be over sooner than he wanted.
And that certainty made him… feel things. Feelings he much preferred to ignore, and he probably would have if it weren’t for the ominous clock ticking down in the back of his head.
Xander drove them back to his house, still not one hundred percent certain the plan was what he wanted.
Essie tried to make small talk, but he wasn’t interested.
Couldn’t muster up more than a few nods and grunts.
Knowing their time was short, the only thing on his mind was kissing her again. Okay, and maybe a little more.
He wanted to strip her clothes off and lick her naked body from head to toe.
Go down on her and feast on what he knew would be the sweetest pussy imaginable.
Plunge his aching cock into her tight, wet heat until she fractured beneath him and they were both consumed by passion.
Lose himself completely, both of them shuddering in endless orgasms. Until he could no longer see where he ended and she began.
Anything about their plan could backfire. Nothing was promised. One or both of them could die. He sure as hell didn’t want to die before experiencing some pleasure with the most tempting woman he’d ever met.
By the time he parked his black Lincoln Navigator and they reached the front door, he knew it was now or never.
His hand shook as he tapped the code onto the keypad and pushed the door open, shutting and locking it behind them.
Without warning, he grabbed Essie, hauled her up onto her toes and pushed her back against the nearest wall.
A gasp escaped her lips right before he slammed his mouth against hers.
He expected her to fight him. Tell him to go to hell.
Instead, she yanked him closer and sucked his tongue into her mouth.
And Xander caught on fucking fire.