Chapter 32 Xeni #2
Ego leans against the counter, popping her gum with a grin.
“We’re all in there, boys. Sakane and Bash are still mugshot-free for now, but the descriptions are spot-on.
Give it till sunset, and they’ll have sketches to add to the collection.
” She purses her lips and taps her chin.
“I wonder if I signed a few of these if I could sell them.”
“Fucking fantastic,” Cato growls, shoving the paper back at Bash.
“Well, we can’t go home now,” Bash says.
Cato throws his hands up. “Can’t go anywhere in this damned city.”
“Hey, Bash?” I mutter, chewing on my lip. “Can I talk to you in private?”
Everyone else watches us, but he focuses solely on me.
“Of course,” he says.
He jogs the papers to straighten them before handing the stack to Ego. “Make sure Sakane isn’t getting into any trouble, would you? It makes me nervous when I can’t keep tabs on him. And Cato, help Nelly clean the kitchen.”
Cato scoffs and rests his hands on his hips. “You’re seriously telling me to clean up after you and your boyfriend while you go make kissy faces at each other?”
“Sure am,” Bash says as he flashes him a wide, sarcastic smile.
Bash reaches back, taking my hand as we walk towards the bedroom we’re sharing. The sheets are rumpled in evidence of our morning activities, and it already smells like us in here.
I release Bash’s hand and wander over to the window, peeking out of a tiny crack in the curtains as my heart pounds.
He approaches slowly, tracing his fingertips along the side of my torso. “Xen?”
“I want to be selfish,” I whisper. “Does that make me awful?”
He tugs on my shirt in a silent request to face him, and a question waits in his expression.
I bite my lip, glancing again at the deceptively cheery sunshine beyond the window. “My father’s wrath is aimed right at us, the alarms are blaring outside, and our faces are plastered on every corner of the city. That’s what I should be worried about, but it isn’t.”
I take his hands, finding the bravery to face him. “The world is falling apart, and all I can think about is that it gives me an excuse to ask you again.”
“Ask me what?”
“To come with me, even though you aren’t safe with me—”
“I am only safe with you,” he argues. “Only with you. Right here, holed up in this apartment, with the entire fucking military on our heels? I feel safer now than I ever did in the years I didn’t have you by my side.”
“If you knew what was good for yourself, you’d say no. You’d run away, hide in the wilderness, and never tell me where you are. He will never stop hunting me.”
“I know that,” he counters, voice steady.
“I want you to say yes,” I admit, contradicting myself as the words spilling out against my better judgment. “And come with me.”
He wraps his arms around my neck and tugs me closer. “My place has always been with you.”
“I’d lead you into the middle of a fight that doesn’t belong to you,” I say in one final, pitiful attempt to sway him.
Bash doesn’t flinch as considers this, his fingers tickling along the nape of my neck. “This fight has belonged to us for a long time, Xen. Ever since that mark showed up on our hips. Before that, even. We saw what they were doing. We took part in it.”
I nod as I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I wanted to help them… but I wanted you more. Does that make me awful?”
He shakes his head. “If it does, it makes me awful, too. I think it’s time we fought back.”
“Will you come with me?” I breathe, my heart racing in my chest. “If we can find a way out of the city, will you come?”
“Yes,” he whispers.
Relief almost takes me to my knees. “Will you be mine again?”
The tip of his nose brushes over mine as his lips part in a soft breath. “I was always yours.”
“Can you truly love me again with everything I’ve done?
The mistakes, the terrible choices, the…
the leaving? The regrets? All the pain I’ve caused others that I could never atone for?
” I tug him closer, hands shaking as I force myself not to look away.
“These rotten parts inside me? Can you love them, too?”
His thumb swipes over my nape as he presses our lips together in the softest kiss. “The only regret I ever had was not fighting harder to find your truth. There isn’t a single part of me that doesn’t love every part of you.”
Any more words he might try to speak are swallowed by my kiss as I pull his mouth to mine. Fingers squeeze on my neck and in my hair, and Bash pulls my bottom lip between his as he eases my mouth open. Our tongues meet, but his hands are firm as I try to wrap myself around him.
The message is clear—this isn’t the time for more.
That doesn’t stop me from whining quietly into his mouth. He soothes me with a soft hum that vibrates between our lips, though he smiles into our kiss as I band my arms around his middle and grab his ass.
The world is on fire, but we burn hotter.
I hold on for another minute and relish the familiar feel of his mouth on mine and the flex of his body underneath me. A realization hits me, and I pull away at the pinch of mourning in my heart.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Just me being selfish again.” I place my hand on his chest, staring at the vacant space on my finger. “My ring. We can’t go back to get it, I know that, but…”
Bash places his hand over mine, dragging his fingertips across my knuckles and through the dips between my fingers. “What if I told you I have it?”
“What?” I whisper.
His eyes lift to mine as he reaches into his pocket. “Ever since I found it in your bag, I haven’t gone anywhere without it.”
My mouth opens and closes a few times as I stare at the silver band pinched between his fingers.
It’s imperfect, but that makes it special.
It’s been through hell—forged from scraps and polished until it was turned into something meaningful.
Something strong, that’s beautiful even with its hammered edges and uneven sheen.
It’s us, or what we used to be.
What we might be again.
“Can I have it back?” I whisper, reaching for the ring.
He pulls it away, shaking his head and tucking it into his pocket. Not on my finger where it belongs, but safe with him.
“You’ve always been so impatient,” he says with an affectionate, teasing smile. “We haven’t even had our second first date.”
“That wasn’t a no,” I point out.
Bash’s smile spreads the rest of the way, blossoming from cheek to cheek. “It wasn’t a no,” he agrees. “It was a not yet.”
“I’ll earn it,” I whisper as my fingertips drag along his thigh, tracing the shape of the ring beneath the denim of his pants.
Something devastating crosses his face. “You don’t have to earn it, Xen, and I don’t want you to feel like you don’t deserve this. You just have to be patient, okay?”
“I’ve never been good at that.”
He breathes a laugh at my admission. “Yeah, princess. I know.”
He kisses me once more before he pushes us off the wall, stitching our fingers together even though we’re only walking down the hallway.
“Come on,” he says. “We have some planning to do.”