7. Jagger
Jagger
Luca bumped my shoulder as we walked toward the restaurant entrance behind our wives.
“You’re going to lose a tooth if you keep clenching your jaw that hard, bro,” he advised, concern in his voice. “You’ve been quiet all evening. Everything okay?”
“I’m fine,” I gritted out, thrusting my hands into my slacks pockets to hide how tightly I was curling my fingers into fists. I was not fine. I was fucking losing my mind.
All because of a tiny little blonde with purple eyes.
I’d been patient. Kept my hands to myself.
For years. So many fucking years. For the first time in my life, I’d completely denied myself something I craved.
Because I didn’t want to push her too far, too fast. Didn’t want her to have regrets.
When Vi finally realized how much she meant to me, I needed her to fully understand every aspect that would change for us all.
Being patient was a virtue, but I was no godsdamn saint.
Vi had yet to give me so much as a hint that she wanted to move forward with me.
Shaw? She had taken their experimenting to new heights, and I loved watching them together.
Being a witness to their private relationship was a gift.
Watching their bond strengthen was beautiful.
Seeing how happy they both were filled a part of my soul I hadn’t realized had been empty.
But I was left adrift, wondering how Vi felt about me.
She hadn’t given me a single sign since this thing had begun with her and Shaw.
Which was fine. I had remained patient, even though it was slowly killing me.
She simply needed more time. When she finally decided the moment was right for us to explore our own connection, we would.
And maybe I could have continued being patient if she hadn’t started icing me out.
For the last few weeks, she had been giving me the cold shoulder.
My texts got monosyllabic answers—when she actually answered.
Half the time, my texts went unread. If we were in the same room, she would completely ignore me.
This was not how it was supposed to be between us.
Ever. Even when Shaw and I were struggling to figure out our relationship, I’d always known Vi’s place in my life.
She’d been my best friend when I’d needed one the most. When it was hard to get out of bed in the mornings while Shaw refused to speak to me, Vi became my reason.
She got me through the worst years of my life.
And now, she wouldn’t even look at me.
It pissed me the fuck off.
Hurts. Hurts so bad, I can barely breathe.
Shaking away the thought, I focused on how Shaw had her pinkie entwined with Vi’s as they entered the restaurant. Their heads were close together as Shaw whispered something to her bestie that had Vi giggling.
Luca grabbed my elbow, stopping me from following the girls.
His eyes rapidly shifted from one shade of brown to another as they drilled into me.
“Stop lying to me, Jagger. I want to know what the fuck is going on with you. Look, I know I’ve been busy lately.
I’m sorry I haven’t been around, but you know you can tell me anything.
There’s nothing you can’t talk to me about. ”
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I blew out a breath. “She won’t even talk to me.”
A lump filled my throat, the hurt I didn’t want to think about twisting inside me until it was a struggle to keep standing upright.
Confusion pulled his brows together. “Who?”
“Violet. You haven’t noticed how cool she is to me lately? I mean, when she actually acknowledges my presence.”
“I noticed she didn’t answer you a few times on the drive. But up until tonight, I hadn’t noticed anything off with her. Honestly, I thought it was because you looked grumpy as fuck when we picked you and Shaw up.”
I laughed dryly. “No, man. She’s been avoiding me like the plague.
Rarely answers my texts, and when she does, they are simple yes or no responses ninety-eight percent of the time.
She won’t even look at me. I don’t know what I did to piss her off, but she’s big mad.
And the one time I dared to ask her what was wrong, she told me to look in the mirror.
That was the last time she answered my messages. Four motherfucking days ago.”
Understanding finally crossed his face, and he smirked. “Ah.”
His response pissed me off. “Ah? That’s all you’re going to say about it? Fucking ah? What does that even mean? Don’t offer to listen and then give me bullshit in return.”
Luca sighed, shaking his head at me. “You’re obviously hurting right now, Jags. And I get it. Vi’s attention is addictive. Once you have it, it’s impossible to give up. I feel for you, brother. But there’s nothing I can do to help fix this for you.”
I jerked my arm out of his hold. “Thanks a fucking lot.”
“Shaw and I already talked about this. We’re not going to hold your hands while you two figure out your relationship.
That’s between you and Vi.” He clapped me on the shoulder.
“But here’s a hint. Vi is more stubborn than you realize.
If she has it in her mind about something, you have to prove to her it’s not what she’s made herself think it is.
You two obviously are not on the same page.
Talk to her. Or not. Talking is overrated sometimes. Actions speak a lot louder than words.”
“Actions,” I repeated with a disgusted grunt. “I refuse to act until she gives me the green light.”
“Shaw was right. You are brain-dead sometimes.” He slapped me on the back of the head, hard. “Open your eyes, dumbass. Her light has been green for a long damn time.”
“Hey, are you two coming?” Shaw called from inside the restaurant. “Our table is ready.”
Muttering a curse under his breath, Luca shoved my shoulder. “Get your head on straight before you come in. I’m not dealing with your stupidity tonight.”
“You have a lot of room to talk,” I snarled.
“See? So stupid you can’t even throw me a good comeback. I pulled my head out of my ass a long time ago, Jagger. Vi’s happiness is the only thing that matters to me. And guess what? She’s not happy right now. Because of you. Man up. Own how you feel, and fix this.”
All I could do was stand there. Hurt poured off me, turning the pain to anger until I was vibrating.
I was alone outside the restaurant, the establishment too selective for a stream of diners to be coming and going.
It was why we so often picked this place, given that it offered the privacy we wouldn’t get anywhere else.
Grabbing the back of my neck with both hands, I squeezed, glaring up at the starless night sky. Luca hadn’t said much more than what Shaw had voiced about my relationship with Vi, but it was enough to give me pause despite the anger and hurt ripping through me.
Vi was sweet to Shaw’s spicy. I didn’t think there were many people who could be more stubborn than my wife, but many times, Vi had proven that she was the queen of stubbornness.
But why would she be stubborn about me?
She held all the power, and she knew it. I wanted her to choose when or even if we had something of our own. Didn’t she know how much I wanted her? How much I cared?
Had we talked about it, though? When had I ever told her I loved her?
A week ago.
I remembered the text. It had been a random thought that had gone through my head, and I’d sent the text. Wanting her to know I was thinking of her, desperate to talk to her, hoping she would give me something other than frost, I sent three simple words.
Love you, Vi.
And I’d gotten an ILY2 in reply. It had cut me deep.
But again, Luca was right. When Vi saw something one way, and she convinced herself that was the truth, it took a hell of a lot to prove to her it was something completely different.
What I should have said instead was, I’m in love with you, Vi. Maybe I would have gotten an entirely different response.
“Fucking hell,” I muttered. “Stop being a pussy.”
When it came down to it, though, that was the real problem. I was scared. If she didn’t feel the same, it would kill a part of my soul. But as long as I didn’t act on how I felt, I could pretend she loved me on the same level I loved her.
Owning that realization, I opened the door, only to find Shaw and Vi coming outside. Shaw arched a brow as she walked past.
Luca walked behind them, carrying a single to-go box. “Got you a cheeseburger and fries,” he said, pushing the plastic container into my hands.
“You didn’t eat?” I grumbled, following them.
“We’ve been inside for nearly an hour. The girls even had dessert.” He pulled his keys out of his pocket. “Figured you weren’t hungry. I’m familiar with how stupidity kills an appetite.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Tell me I’m wrong,” he dared, slowing his pace to walk with me. My silence made him snort out a laugh. “That’s what I thought.”
Luca hit the unlock button on his key fob and opened the back door for Vi. I moved to do the same for Shaw, but she was already climbing into the front passenger seat. “Shotgun!”
“You’re evil, dimples,” I grumbled.
“It’s weird that we have been married this long and you didn’t already know that.
Huh. You’re even more intellectually challenged than I gave you credit for.
I am so relieved our girls didn’t get their brains from you, babe.
” She gave me an indulgent smile before pulling the seat belt across her shoulder. “I love you, dumbass.”
Taking the back passenger seat, I waited for Vi’s nearness to hit me. As soon as Luca closed her door, trapping me with her scent, her heat, I dropped the takeout container with zero consideration for the mess it might make and grabbed Vi.
She squealed, but I swallowed the sound, crashing my mouth down on hers. She smacked at my arms, but I didn’t release her. I couldn’t, even if my life depended on it. Not when she tasted even better than I’d ever imagined she would. Twisting her hair around my fingers, I deepened the kiss.
With a hum, she melted against me.