24. Levi
The moment of truth.
It was still dark when I woke up in between two bodies. The events of last night came back to me, dinner, the club and then the best part of the evening. Violeta moaning in bed with us, fucking her into two orgasms. It was so surreal; I was sharing a woman with my best friends.
I thought I would hate it, but it was quite the opposite. The moment I knew we had all slept with her, I wondered if it was possible to all be with the same girl. Matteo or Ru hadn’t said it, but their time with her had left a lasting impression on them.
Vi was a beautiful woman, curves for days, and she was more than just a tourist. She was funny, sweet, sassy and she had brought Matteo and I closer together.
If she hadn’t helped us, I don't know if we would've moved on at all. We hadn’t talked about what we had done together or what it had meant. I didn’t have the guts to pop our blissful bubble, too afraid that things would change for the worse.
Not talking about it was only making this more disastrous when we actually came around to having the dreaded conversation.
I needed to get some fresh air, and to stop thinking about the worst possible scenario.
Anxiety clawed its way up my chest, sitting heavily.
If I didn’t snap out of it, I would begin to spiral.
Violeta sighed, her hand over my heart attempting to grab onto me.
I kissed her hand, jumping over Matteo to get out.
Looking back, they all looked so peaceful in bed together.
Oh my god, we were perfect together.
After using the bathroom, I headed out to the main deck.
The sun was just peeking over the horizon as I sat down on the sectional outside.
It was a bit chilly, but I wanted to see the sunrise.
They were always the most beautiful on the boat with an endless sea surrounding us.
I regretted not bringing my phone to add to the hundreds of photos I already had of sunrises and sunsets.
“You're going to catch a cold,” Matteo said, throwing a blanket at me.
“I was going to go inside as soon as the sun rose,” I grumbled, grateful for the blanket.
Matteo rounded the section in sweats and a t-shirt. He still looked sleepy, his hair sticking up everywhere and had a peaceful demeanor I never thought I’d see emanating from him.
“You and your sunrise,” he said, sitting next to me and putting the blanket over us.
“They are gorgeous,” I said, as he laid his head on my shoulder.
“With you they are,” he said softly.
I took a deep breath, knowing the conversation was coming.
“We need to talk,” he said, taking my hand.
“I know,” I said, threading my hands through his.
“What is this going to be?” he whispered, as if he were afraid to ask. “What are we doing?”
I didn’t know what to say, torn between telling him my truth and too afraid to do it because I would die a little if it ruined us.
“Lee,” he said, sitting up to look at me. “You can tell me anything. I think it's been a long time coming, we need to be very honest with each other.”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair.
“I’ve loved you for years,” I said, looking away from him, too afraid to see a reaction on his face that would break my heart. “It was killing me that you didn’t know and yes, I know it was my own fault. I even know that rule number one of being queer is don’t fall for the straight guy.”
“Lee,” he said, his voice gruff.
“At first, I thought I would get over it but each year, I loved you more and more,” I said, taking a deep breath to continue. “This last year I knew I had to stop, get over you and move on. I was only hurting myself. There was no way you could have—”
Matteo cupped my face, turned me around and captured me in a kiss. It wasn’t a kiss we had had before and it was our first kiss alone. It was soft, languid and it made my heart beat faster.
“I’m an such idiot that I never realized it,” he said against my lips.
“I didn’t even realize how much I needed you until you started looking for a life on your own.
It pissed me off you were not always home or that your attention wasn’t solely on me.
I might not have realized it sooner, but my love isn’t just friendly or even platonic. ”
I gasped, looking into his eyes searching for the truth. Was he really saying what I thought he was saying?
“Matteo… Don’t play with me.” I sat up, my heart pounding fast.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, cupping my face. “We’ve wasted all these years.”
“Because you have always been my straight best friend, who had a different woman in his bed every night,” I scoffed. “I thought if I told you, it would be—”
I didn’t know what to say because every bad thought I thought of had Matteo being offended or even grossed out. I loved him more than a friend.
“Did you really think I would react badly?” he scowled.
“You’re my best friend. I might have been shocked at first, but I wouldn’t have turned my back on you.
You’ve been my friend for years. Even if I didn’t feel the same, I would have preferred the awkward conversation, so I wouldn’t lose my best friend. ”
“Fuck,” I said, covering my face with my hands. “I’m an idiot.”
“Yes, but you are my idiot,” he said, pulling me towards him, hugging me against his chest.
He leaned back, getting us comfortable as the sun rose, contributing beautiful colors and a new day.
“What does that mean for us?” I asked, feeling peaceful.
“I want to explore whatever this is with you,” he said, squeezing me. “I feel like I have a lot of things to experience and everything we’ve done so far has felt right.”
“Yeah, it has,” I said, sitting up and kissing him.
He groaned into our kiss before taking control. We kissed like it was the first time, exploring each other.
“Want to explore more?” I asked in between kisses.
“Fuck yeah,” he said.
I straddled his hips, feeling him hard underneath me. I wondered what he would feel like fucking into me in this position. The blanket fell off my shoulders, the cool air making me break into goosebumps. We kissed like this until I had him riled up enough from grinding on him.
“Take your cock out,” I groaned, pulling out my cock.
He quickly pulled himself out, a bead of precum on the tip of his cock calling out for me to lick it up. I swiped with my finger, tasting him, moaning and sucking my finger like I would his cock.
“Tease,” Matteo grunted, as I took our cocks in my hand.
I spit in my hand, coating us, making it easier to stroke our cocks. Matteo moaned loudly, his head tilting back, exposing the tendons in his neck.
“Fuck, why does that feel so good?” He tightened his grip on my hips as I fucked us slow with my hand.
“I don’t know, but fuck, seeing us together in my hand is a fucking dream,” I groaned, thrusting into my hand.
“Did you jerk off with thoughts of us?” he grunted, thrusting his hips up into my fist.
“More than I’d like to admit,” I gasped, when Matteo grasped our cocks at the tip.
We stroked together in sync and he twisted his hand every time we thrust up. It was more than I could handle and I came first, coming all over Matteo’s shirt. He didn’t last much longer, spilling all over his hand, his shirt and some on his chin.
“Damn, it’s like you hadn’t come in weeks,” I said, admiring our handiwork, licking the cum off his chin.
Matteo chuckled. “Group sex and sex with you is more intense than anything I’ve ever experienced.”
“Good,” I said, pecking his lip, sliding off him. “Let’s keep it that way.”
Matteo looked down his shirt, shaking his head before taking it off and cleaning his hand.
“So, are we still doing this with Vi or are we—”
“I like what we have now, don’t you?” I asked, realizing I wasn’t just scared for us, but what that meant for the group.
He nodded. “I like it too. Last night was intense, but we worked well together.”
“Yeah we did, I was surprised Ru let us join. I thought he was going to take her away and do their own thing.” I looked out at the sun getting higher, still a little worried that might happen.
“I think he likes her a lot more than he’s letting on,” Matteo said, throwing his shirt on the floor. “She’s good for him. Maybe she’s good for all of us.”
I heard chatter behind us to see Ru and Vi coming out. He had his hand around her as they talked about something. She was sleep rumpled, but still looked gorgeous and nothing made me happier than seeing my best friend elated with her.
Whatever this was, it was effortless and I thought maybe it could possibly be more. Matteo proved I wasn’t the only one feeling this. We were always together; it made sense we liked the same girl and I hoped Vi could become our girl.
“Oh my god, this is gorgeous,” Vi said, holding my hand as we walked through Chora, a city on Mykonos. “It seems unreal.”
The white building and the maze of shops we were walking through was always so beautiful and never ceased to amaze me. We had been to this town a few times and we all agreed Vi needed to experience it.
“I think I took a million pictures the first time I came here,” I said, looking over my shoulder to see Ru and Matteo talking.
Matteo smirked at me, making my cheeks heat up, reliving our time together this morning.
Ru looked between us, giving me a smile and a nod like he approved of what was going on.
Another reason I didn’t want to tell Matteo I loved him was because I didn’t want us to lose our friendship with Ru.
Would things be different? Would he hate that we were together?
Should I have more faith in the strength of our friendship?
“Oh, let’s go in here!” Vi dragged me into a small boutique.
She looked at the women’s clothes while I looked around the store.
I wasn’t a big shopper, but Ru and Matteo loved it.
They were in the men’s section looking through different shirts, holding up the ones they liked.
Vi had a few pieces in her arms and already walking to the guys.
She showed them what she had picked out, asking for their opinion and I was glad she didn't include me. I was hopeless, happy to stick to jeans and tees, but that wasn’t acceptable to Ru or Matteo.
Ru grabbed the clothing items and took them to the register while Vi tried to grab them back from him. I walked over to her, wrapping an arm around her waist.
“You’re wasting your breath,” I said. “Ru does whatever he wants and he loves to spoil people.”
“You don’t have to,” she grumbled. “I can buy my own things.”
“Let him, Reina,” I said, kissing her cheek.
She stayed quiet as Ru paid, also throwing in a shirt Matteo wanted.
The lady checked us out, glancing at all of us, curiously. Ru thanked her, grabbed the bag and gave it to Matteo. He opened his mouth to say something as he shook his head.
“Just say thank you, Gongjunim,” he smirked.
“I wouldn’t have to say thank you if you just let me pay for it,” she pouted.
I laughed as Ru rolled his eyes.
“Come on, there is much more shopping to do.” Ru led Vi out of the store.
Matteo and I followed them, our shoulders brushing occasionally and all I really wanted to do was hold his hand or hold him close.
I held back, not sure if Matteo was ready for PDA or for anyone to know.
Here on the island, we would be anonymous, with no worries of anyone catching us.
I was out and proud, but I couldn’t ask Matteo to come out for me, even if we were somewhere he could safely be himself.
Ru and Vi were laughing about something when Matteo threaded our hands together. I looked up in surprise, stopping in the middle of the street, yanking him back.
“Was this not the right thing to do?” he asked, his brows furrowed.
“No, this is perfect,” I said, getting a little choked up.
“Hey, look, you don’t have to—”
“No, I want you to, you big lug,” I said, squeezing his hand. “I was just having an existential crisis wanting to show you affection, but I didn’t know where the line was and in my head I made a big thing out of nothing.”
“Ask, Cuore Mio, that’s all you have to do,” he said, kissing my forehead.
My stomach fluttered with butterflies as he called me sweetheart in Italian.
“Ok. I’ll ask next time,” I said, my cheeks feeling hot.
“Come on, let's go spend some more money; you need new shoes,” he said, kissing my hand, leading me to where Ru and Vi were looking at some purses a vendor had out on the street.
Vi looked over at us and I smiled to ease her worry. She smiled, relief making her shoulders drop.
“Everything ok?” Ru asked as Vi kept perusing.
“Never better,” I said, showing our hands.
“Thank god, now you can stop making googly eyes at each other from across the table,” he smirked, as Vi laughed.
“We do not,” Matteo scowled.
“Sure, keep telling yourselves that.” Ru patted Matteo on his back.
“Shut it,” Matteo murmured.
Ru laughed loudly, and things felt like old times as we teased each other.
“Come on, Gongjunim.” Ru grabbed Vi’s hand. “Let’s get you a real purse.”
“Oh, yes!” Matteo said. “I need a new wallet and I saw a travel bag I wanted.”
He said it like he knew exactly where we were going.
We spent the rest of the day shopping, spoiling Vi who wasn’t easy to convince to let us do it, especially when Ru wanted to buy her a Louis Vuitton purse.
This day was one of the best ones I had had in a long time.
It finally felt like I could breathe without the weight of my problems on my shoulders.
Now I just needed to figure out how to make this permanent.