Chapter 14 #3
I hesitated. “My sister’s been living with me,” I confessed.
“Since her divorce. The reason she broke up with her husband…it was because of me.” I waited for Phantom’s reaction—maybe a wince or a frown.
There was none; he just remained quiet, allowing me the space to explain.
“He came onto me. I told him no, and…eventually, he listened.” Phantom’s mouth twitched.
I could tell he didn’t like the word eventually.
“I told Aleena. Immediately. That was it. She took the kids, left him, never looked back.”
“It sounds to me like you did everything right.”
“I know. But there are times I still…I don’t know. Blame myself, I guess.”
“Is he still around?”
“No. He wouldn’t dare.”
“It sounds like she’s better off without him.”
“Yeah. She is. Anyway. Sorry.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you sorry?”
“That’s just not…something you want to hear about. I don’t talk about that. Ever.”
“I want to hear it. I want to know everything about you.” He said it plainly, and I believed him.
Phantom laced his fingers thoughtfully. He started, “I was raised by a single mother. She worked on Wall Street. Finance. Whatever image that conjures up for you…that’s correct.
She was a hard worker. Very strong. Very stubborn. ”
“Sounds like someone I know.”
A smile quirked the edge of his mouth.
“I saw a picture in your library. Two people at the beach. You and your mom?” He nodded. “You were an awkward as hell kid. Thank the gods you grew up hot.”
He exhaled a surprised laugh and looked at the coffee in his hands. “You say things like that to knock me off balance.”
“No. I say things like that because they’re true.”
He squinted at me. Then he leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. His hand rubbed over his bicep—a slow, thoughtless motion—as he dipped back into memory. “I was an inconvenience in her otherwise well-ordered life, but she managed to be a good mother all the same.”
“Was?”
“When I was a teenager, she worked herself right into a stroke.” He paused briefly, like he was debating what to tell me next.
“I remember the ride to the hospital. They had me sit up front in the ambulance. The EMT blasted AC/DC like it was a party bus. My mother was dying. I was numb, panicked, but in that moment, he gave me permission to feel safe. So I try to do that for other people.”
He had my trauma—now I had his. We’re even.
I tilted my head. “Is that why you like kink? Because it’s…safe?”
“Friday nights at the club are sacred to me. If I don’t have that…” he sucked in a breath, like the thought alone was debilitating. “I look forward to it. Every week. It’s my one place where I can be unapologetically, selfishly myself.”
“What does that look like? A selfish Phantom.”
“I like being in control. I enjoy taking care of people. I like turning off the parts of your brain that are anxious and stressed. I like knowing that all you can think about are my fingers in your hair.” When his eyes met mine again, this time, they were electric.
“When you make yourself vulnerable with me, Ophelia, it lights me up.”
My heart fluttered.
“I know this must sound like a lot of roleplay,” he said, “but it’s serious to me.”
“Men have always wanted me. But sex and pleasure…it’s never been something I’ve been allowed to want. Does that make sense?”
“It does.”
“But with you, I feel like I have…I don’t know…”
“Permission to want?” he guessed.
“Yes. Exactly.”
“So, what do you want, Ophelia?”
“Everything I have coming to me. I don’t want to stop. I don’t want you to take it easy on me. I can take it. I want to keep learning. What comes after Drop?”
He motioned. “Give me your words.”
“Mercy. Drop. Give. Eyes. Pray.” I thought about it. “We’ve done all of them except Give. I’m still not clear on that one.”
“It’s your pleasure trigger,” he said.
The coffee bean grinder went off and momentarily drowned us out. There were people all around us, but Phantom didn’t seem to care. He openly talked about S&M and kink like it was the most natural thing in the world. I liked that about him. When the grinder stopped, I said, “Go on.”
“From now on, I don’t want you to cum without my permission. You’ll learn to cum on command, and only then.”
The thought of him controlling my orgasms sent a thrill through me. “What if I want to cum tonight?”
“Ask me.”
“Can I cum tonight?”
A grin slid over his mouth. “Not now. Ask me when you get home. After you’ve been riding your vibrator, and your legs are shaking, and your thighs are soaked. Then, you may call me up and ask for permission.”
I swallowed. Hard. “I’m not good at hearing no.”
He didn’t flinch. “You will be.”
Fuck. That promise made my thighs clench under the table.
“The code is 2077,” he said.
“The code…?”
“For the door. This Friday. Seven pm. I’ll see you then.”
“What if I want to see you before then?”
His smile faded. He looked tired, suddenly. He explained, “Phantom and Ophelia…they’re creatures of the club. They can’t exist outside of it.”
“Why not?”
He looked around himself, as though the café was some strange novelty and he was taking it in. “This is more daylight than I’ve had in months,” he admitted.
I propped my chin on my hand. “It looks good on you.”
His eyes crinkled, but he cast me a look that felt like a warning. “I’ll see you at the club, Ophelia.”
“Yes. You will.”