Chapter 23
Phantom. Then.
I didn’t mean to fall asleep with her. One moment, I was just resting my eyes, and the next, hours had passed. Ophelia stirred and I found I had folded over her like origami; her head in my lap, my head on her hip.
“What time is it?” she mumbled groggily, trying to push herself up on the sea of pillows and blankets.
I glanced at the hanging clock. “Nearly seven.”
“Shit!” Ophelia suddenly jumped up. Her hip knocked into my chin and I grunted, rubbing the spot. But she was already up, hunting around the blankets. “Where are my clothes?”
“I’m sure they’re upstairs…slow down.”
She stumbled out and I heard her feet patter upstairs. I pushed myself up to my feet and followed after her. When I got to the third floor, Ophelia was yanking her pants over her hips.
“I promised Aleena I’d take the kids today,” she said.
“Ophelia. You got three hours of sleep, you haven’t had anything to eat, and you—look at me.” She glanced up and I tilted her chin. I inspected her eyes, those blown out pupils. I let out a short, tight breath. “You’re still in sub-space. You’re not going anywhere.”
“I’m fine,” she insisted. She pulled out of my touch and yanked her shirt over her head.
I took the hem of her shirt. She glared at me, so I informed her, “It’s inside out.” She let me pull it over her head, turn the fabric around, and then slip it back over her head. “If you’re going, then I’m going with you.”
Her mouth twisted. “You’re not going to like it.”
“Why do you say that?”
“It’s…kids. The zoo. Sunshine.”
I wasn’t budging. “Give me five minutes to put on some clothes and I’ll call us a cab.”
Ophelia finally relented. “Fine.”
I kissed her forehead. “Go to the kitchen. Eat something. That’s an order.”
Ophelia and I caught a taxi to Queens. Her hair was a wild crown around her head and her eyes were unfocused as she stared out the window.
I spotted a bite mark on her shoulder. My fault. I pulled at her shirt, covering up our sins.
“What does your sister know?” I asked.
She glanced at me and lifted her eyebrows. “About us?”
“Yes.”
“Everything.”
My turn to sound surprised. “Everything?”
Ophelia shrugged. “She’s my sister.”
She said it like it was natural, but it couldn’t be any less natural to me.
I compartmentalized. I had my real life—the ambulance, the street team, the work I did to give myself purpose.
Then I had the Seekers Club—the play I performed to keep myself sane.
The two never entwined. Cortez only knew about the Seekers Club by pure, rotten accident—I had a submissive on the St. Andrew’s Cross one Friday, only to turn around and spot my EMT in a leather corset.
You never know who people are off the clock.
Ophelia didn’t have my same hang-ups. She was open about everything. It was one of the things I loved about her.
Hmm. There was that word again.
Note to self, stop that.
The taxi pulled up in front of a multi-storied house in Astoria. Who I could only assume were Ophelia’s sister, Aleena, and her two kids were already sitting on the stoop, waiting for us. I paid the cab and we got out. Ophelia brightened and lifted her arms up. “Chipmunks!” she shouted.
The kids jumped up and Ophelia crouched down to hug them both. Her sister looked very much like her, only she had a softer body and a sterner mouth. Aleena watched me warily as Ophelia went to hug her, too.
“You’re late,” Aleena said.
“I know. I’m so sorry. Aleena, this is—”
“Alex.” I extended a hand towards Aleena. “Nice to meet you.”
Daytime names. No more Phantom.
Aleena shook my hand like she was testing the weight of it. “Alex,” she said, pronouncing my name slowly, “I’ve heard so much about you.”
I bet you have. “Likewise. Are these yours?”
I glanced down at her kids. Aleena put a hand on each of their heads.
“Yes. Kira and Theo. We call him Squeaky, because he screeches like a banshee when he doesn’t get his way.
” Kira looked up at me with inquisitive, owl-like eyes.
If I had to guess, I thought she looked around four.
Her younger brother didn’t even seem to register my presence; he was completely invested in a small pot and wooden spoon he’d brought from inside the house.
“Nice cookware,” I said.
Aleena sighed. “I tried to take it from him, but…the banshee. Good luck.” Then, pointedly, she added, “Auntie Ruby promised to take them to the zoo today so everyone is very excited.”
“Everyone times two!” Ophelia said, punching her hands in the air. “Zoo day! Woohoo!”
I didn’t know how, after the night we had, she still had energy to amp up the kids. But she did. It wasn’t hard to see why they loved Auntie Ruby.
“Okay,” Aleena said, “Mommy’s late. Hugs, hugs.”
Her kids swarmed her and she rewarded them with kisses and hugs.
Ophelia bumped her shoulder into mine. She dropped her voice so the conversation stayed between us. “You really don’t have to stay. I know this isn’t your thing.”
My eyebrows knitted. “What isn’t my thing?”
“You know…” She motioned to the kids.
Ah. She thought since I didn’t have any, I must not like kids.
“I like kids,” I told her. “They don’t like me.”
“Why not?” Kira said, squirming out of her mother’s hold to better eavesdrop on our conversation.
I crouched down so I was level with her. “I’m too serious.”
“I’m too serious,” Kira commiserated. “Mommy says it’s a sign of intelligence.”
“What about you, Squeaky?” I asked the boy. “Are you serious?”
“Mm. Blow.” Squeaky took his wooden spoon and held it up to my mouth. I blew on the imaginary food and pretended to take a bite.
“Hmm. Needs salt.”
“Salt! Order up!” Squeaky shouted, and began to mix the spoon into the empty pot.
“Alright! I’m out.” Aleena kissed Ophelia’s cheek. “Be good!” She looked at me and Ophelia when she said it, though, not the kids.
I gave Ophelia a questioning look. Ophelia claps her hands together.
“Who’s ready for an adventure?”
The four of us took the subway to Pelham Station.
Kira spent the whole time talking my ear off about her current interests.
And—actually. They were pretty interesting.
She knew more about reptiles, for example, than anyone else I knew.
I listened, never interrupting, and only occasionally butting in to ask a question that launched her down another rabbit hole.
With Kira engaged, Ophelia spent her time trying to strong arm Squeaky into the seat, who seemed intent on pressing his face against the scratched-up subway window.
Finally, we exited the hot confines of the subway and…
Daylight. Sweet, rare daylight. Even I had to admit it. It was a beautiful day for the zoo.
Summer was in full force, cherry blossoms and daffodils bursting pops of purple, pink, and white. I paid our tickets before Ophelia had the chance to protest and we walked the brick pathway teeming with children. Kira and Squeak bolted, heading straight for the bronze rhino statues.
I kept my eyes on the kids. Instinctively, my hand moved to the small of Ophelia’s back, guiding her through the crowd. I caught a smile from her and she hooked her arm in mine, brushing against me.
We made too natural a couple.
“When was the last time you took a trip to the zoo?” she asked.
“Sea lion bite.”
Ophelia’s eyes went wide. “What?”
“A sea lion bit their trainer. They might look cute, but they’re vicious. It was ugly.”
“Well, hopefully this trip will have a little less bloodshed.”
As if on cue, Squeaky, who had somehow made it on top of the rhino, started to tumble forward. I caught the bowling ball of trouble by the back of his shirt, hoisting him up before he could impale himself on the bronze statue’s horn.
“Don’t you dare put me on the clock, Squeaky,” I warned him.
He spread his arms out wide and started making airplane noises as I one-handed carried him down the pathway.
The kids wanted to see everything. Tigers. Monkeys. We passed the sea lions and I gave them a chastising look. “You know what you’ve done.”
I swear, one of the beasts ducked its head under its fin in shame.
We found a baby nyala in the nyala herd, which looked like a cross between a deer and a rabbit. Kira immediately fell in love and began reciting all the facts she’d learned from the placards.
Ophelia remained bright and energetic for as long as she could.
But I could tell she was waning. When we finally got to the penguin exhibit, I made her sit on the bench with me.
The entire room was dark and cool. There was a long length of glass through which we could see the bright, white ice and a flurry of penguins and puffins waddling around, diving through the water, and wiggling back up to do it all over again.
Kira and Squeaky rushed to the glass, pressing their palms to it and communicating with the birds.
On a beautiful day like today, the indoor exhibits were emptier than usual. It provided Ophelia and I with a small, quiet moment.
“I used to come here a lot,” she said. “First with my sisters, when we were kids, you know? But when I got into theater, I’d come to places like this to study people.”
“Study people?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Like…body language. I’d make notes on the way people express themselves without talking, and then I’d use those in my acting. You’d be shocked by what people say with their bodies.”
Alright. I was curious. “What does my body language say?”
A grin slowly climbed her face. “I knew this guy once. He’d spent time in the military.
Overseas. Combat zone. You carry yourself the same way.
You’re always on alert. Eyes on everyone in the room.
Like you know things can go wrong at the drop of a pin and when it does, you’ll be ready to clean up the mess. ”
“I guess I have trouble turning it off.”
“Except at the club. Your body language is…different there. That’s the only place you can relax, isn’t it? Let down your guard.”
I felt us tiptoeing dangerously close to truths I held close to my chest. I diverted. I nodded to a young couple by the glass.
“What about them? What does their body language say?”