IX
Tori
T he sun is starting to fight its way through the hazy cloud cover, and the grounds start to look like a picturesque Christmas card scene. There’s something about this moment that feels unreal, but I’m sure I can see the sincerity in Royal’s eyes.
“That’s—”
It’s Royal’s turn to cut me off. “I’m not finished. Please, just hear me out.”
I close my mouth and gently suck on the orange flavored lozenge.
“To start with, most of what you went through really was no different than what other initiates go through, and I guess I used that as an excuse. And even then, I helped you whenever I could. But I want you to know that I did call him out on what he was doing, but he thought I’d been brainwashed by your pussy, which isn’t true.” Royal frowns. “Not that it isn’t an incredible pussy, because it is,” he hurriedly adds. “But it was because of all of you.”
Was this before or after I accused him of being nice to me, just so he could fuck me?
“Everything we did together…” he continues like he’s reading my mind. “I did because I thought you wanted it— not because you were feeling coerced because of that fucking contract. God, Tori, if I made you do anything against your will, I am truly sorry—”
“It was consensual,” I tell him. “The sex we had was consensual and wanted.”
As he draws in a deep breath, Royal closes his eyes.
Even with the guilt and worry in his eyes as he apologizes, I owe him nothing.
There’s a lot of things he did and didn’t do that he owes me an apology for, but sex isn’t one of them.
“I know you’re struggling to believe it, but Syn really didn’t know about that video being released. I’m not saying at one point he believed his own words and thought he would, but the truth—selfish as it is—is that he’s in that video, too. All it takes is for you to say our names, and we’re associated with it. And if I’d known he wanted to go through with releasing it, I still would have stopped him. So, I’m sorry that it’s out there, but not because I’m in it.”
“Not as much as I am,” I mutter.
Unlike Royal, I’m not convinced that wasn’t Syn’s intent, but I also didn’t really believe it would be released for the same reason.
“It is out there now, so there’s nothing that can be done about it.”
“I’ll do everything I can to make this right, Tori.”
The sentiment is nice, but it’s not like the olden days when there was a single copy of a video tape that could be destroyed. The internet is forever.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” I warn him before I start walking again.
Royal quickly matches my pace, but he remains quiet as we walk to the building that Penny’s exam is taking place in. People are already filtering out through the doors. Noisy chatter about what they answered questions with destroys the silence.
After almost a whole semester of people staring at me like I’m something nasty they’ve trodden in, I’m used to the stares I’m now receiving as I wait for Penny. None of them say anything or approach me, which is probably due to Royal standing a few feet away with a murderous look on his face. Not that I care. This is a small class at a small college, and aside from the pink-haired goddess who’s just walking out of the door, I don’t care about a single one of them.
Spotting me, Penny darts over. She eyes Royal suspiciously. “You’re okay?”
Okay feels relative.
“How’d the exam go?”
Penny rolls her eyes. “Because that’s the important thing here?”
“Come on.” I link my arm through hers. “Let’s head back to your room. You can tell me about your exam while we walk there, and I’ll tell you what I can when we get inside, away from prying ears.”
Even though I don’t really understand what she’s saying, I listen to Penny as she half-heartedly gives me a run down on the questions and answers as we make our way back to the dorm. Royal remains a few paces behind us, like a bodyguard, much to Penny’s annoyance, but she doesn’t say anything until we reach her door.
“What’s with the human ankle monitor?”
“After Lissa’s prank—”
Penny snorts. “Assault.”
“He’s just making sure no one does anything else,” I assure her.
Compared to normal, the doors down the corridor are closed, and there’s no one about to say if his presence has been effective, but I also haven’t been covered in other gross liquids—or worse.
“You see the irony in that, don’t you?” Penny asks, but she doesn’t wait for a response as she unlocks and opens her door.
I’m not surprised when Royal tries to follow us in, but I am surprised at the lack of hesitation from Penny as she stands in front of him, trying to block him.
Penny’s only a couple of inches shorter than I am, but neither of us are short. Compared to Royal, the basketball player who towers over her, we all know she’s not going to make Royal leave unless he chooses to.
“You’re not welcome in here.”
“I’m here to make sure nothing happens to Tori.”
“Fuck you, and fuck your insinuation, Royal,” Penny snaps at him, refusing to budge. “Tori’s my friend. I’m not going to hurt her. If she needs protecting from anyone, it’s you.”
“Royal, Penny’s not going to hurt me—and you’re an asshole if you think that’s the case. Just wait outside.”
He narrows his eyes, but steps back out of the room. He’s barely clear of the door before Penny’s slamming it in his face. She whirls around and stares at me in disbelief. “Is he planning on getting in the car with us?”
A long sigh escapes me as I sink onto her bed. “About that.”
“Tori, are you insane ?” Penny’s eyes are wide. “Is that why he’s here? To make sure you don’t leave? Because I will call the police if anyone gives us any trouble leaving this place.”
“Honestly, I’m pretty certain questioning my sanity is a moot point now.” Wearily, I pat the spot on her bed next to me. “Just hear me out.”
Face full of frowns, Penny pulls her coat off, tossing it to the side before she comes to sit down next to me. The scowl doesn’t go anywhere as she folds her arms and continues to stare at me.
I’ve told Penny a lot about what’s happened, but not everything. Even though I completely trust her, and despite the agreement I had from Syn for no harm to come to her, there have been so many threats—veiled and obvious—against her, that I’ve always held things back.
The only thing she knows about the XXXVII was from when I told her that Arthur Willsberg had mentioned it. Telling her more now will just lead to her asking a bunch of questions I can’t answer.
She also knows about the video of JP. Even though I know she’ll never tell anyone about it, I’ve not spoken about it since the night I showed it to Syn. Bringing it back up now doesn’t seem right.
I don’t know what’s connected and what’s coincidence, but I do know I keep falling deeper and deeper into whatever this is. Penny will only be safe if I don’t drag her down with me.
Without mentioning reason, I quickly explain what I can.
“So, you’re telling me that your plan is to stay with them? Can’t you just move back into your room next door?”
“The room someone broke into while I was in it and covered me in fake blood?”
Penny’s lip curls up. “Compared to the house that someone broke into while you were in it, and nearly killed you? Stay with me—fuck that. Let’s go stay in a hotel in the city and turn up to this charity event together.”
“You have exams—”
“Which they said we could defer to next year if we need to.”
Pursing my lips, I grab Penny’s hands. “If you were either a member of the Elite or directly affected by Declan’s death, and you’re neither.”
“I would say the death of the person who tried to kill my best friend qualifies me for that,” Penny says, stubbornly. “And even if it didn’t, I don’t care. I have two exams, both of which are for classes where I’ve already gotten enough points to scrape a pass.”
Her suggestion to leave is still as tempting as it was this morning, but I’ve already made up my mind.
When I don’t say anything, Penny tugs her hands free and crosses her arms, pouting. “I know how important this is to you, but I think that if there’s anything left to find, it’s not worth the risk.”
“I know.”
“Fine.” She gets off her bed and moves over to her closet to pull the last case of mine out that she’s storing in here. Only, she doesn’t walk back to me with it. Instead, her focus is on another behind it, which she wheels out and sets on its side.
“What are you doing?” I ask as she opens it.
“Coming with you.”
I stare blankly at her as she proceeds to head back to her closet to rifle through the dozens of clothes hanging there. “I’m not leaving, Pen.”
“Still prefer that option.” She pulls a few clean, tailored blouses from the closet. “But I mean Denali House.”
“You’re not a member of the Elite.”
Before Penny drops the shirts into the case, she looks at me and shrugs. “Guess how many fucks I give about that.”
My automatic reaction is to point out that’s the last thing Syn will agree to, but as I realize that, I stop myself. Instead, I get up and move over to the case. Tempting as it is to help her pack just so I can annoy Syn, it’s not fair to Penny to put her in any danger.
“Two weeks, Penny. Not even that. If there’s anything left to find out, that’s all I’ve got. Much as I would love you with me, if they’re going to let any secrets slip, they’re only going to do it if their guard’s not up with you being there. Please, just trust me.”
“Fine.” She dumps the handful of clothes she’s accumulated on the side of the dresser and then turns to me. “If you want to be an idiot about this, go ahead.”
I understand her irritation. I’d be just as annoyed if the roles were reversed. If telling her everything wasn’t going to put her at risk, I’d do it just so she’d understand. But then it would be more likely that she dragged me out of here altogether…
She doesn’t look at me as I leave her room.
“Everything sorted?” Royal asks as I close the door behind me.
Keeping silent, I head for the exit, fighting every urge in me to run back and do something stupid.
If I know my friend—and I hope I do—we’ll be okay.