5. Hardware
HARDWARE
LARS
W e ran to the hardware store for one item and ended up with a cart. I found a tool I wanted to keep on board. Jack wanted three colours of duct tape—then a rainbow. I knew she’d demand snacks at the till. And she decided she had to buy new chamois and wash for the boat. So, we were stocked up. I was near the till as she perused over-the-top American Christmas decorations.
“Jacqueline, c’mon kiddo. I have to make it to the walkthrough in two hours.”
“Just a little longer,” Jack pleased. “Please?”
I was a sucker. “Fine. I will… hang out. You have five minutes.”
I grabbed a Coke from the cooler to my right and looked down the Christmas lights aisle. Amazed by the assortment of Christmas crap, I couldn’t look away. This sort of excess was unique to this strange country. My stepmother was over the top with Christmas. As a child, it had been especially magical. As an adult, it felt a bit odd. I reminded myself Jack was still a kid—probably in her last “magical” years.
As I looked down the aisle, I recognised a familiar face. Rosalind was balancing a massive stack of Christmas lights. I pushed the cart down.
“Need a cart?” I asked.
Rose broke into a wide grin.“Shit, yes. Thanks.”
She dumped the reels of lights in. “Love it. Sorry, you have to keep rescuing me.”
“I don’t mind.”
She stared at the assortment of duct tape.
“Wow, you must really love duct tape.”
“I’m here with my niece. This was her impulse buy.”
Rose giggled. “Jeez. Where is she?”
“Around. I told her she could look at some decorations.”
“Ah. Are you decorating the boat, then?”
“No,” I answered. “Mother has hired people to decorate the catamaran. I am certain this is an issue, but she doesn’t care. I am helping Jack. Those are the lights she wanted.”
Jack grabbed string upon string of multicoloured lights. Meanwhile, Rose stuck to red and white.
“You chose Norwegian colours,” I remarked.
“I think they look the best with our schooner. I need a lot more.”
“Stay here,” I said.
I raced to grab a second cart.
“Good idea,” Rose said as I returned.
We shovelled spools of lights into the second cart.
“You shouldn’t help me. You’re helping the enemy, you know?”
“You’re my girlfriend. I’m allowed to help, right?”
“Ah, we’re still doing that?” She laughed. “Yes, Lars, you can. Now, I have no idea what to do. We get to pick music if we want. But I want the music and the lights to do… like a flashy thing together.”
“A flashy thing?” I snickered. “You want to put them on a timer?”
“However those Americans do it. I have big ideas and no big ways to implement them.”
“You’ll need a board with enough ports. And to do some programming. What song do you want?”
She cocked her head. “You know how to do this?”
“I’m an electrical engineer by training, so yes,” I answered. “It’s not hard. We could get everything we need at a couple of places.”
“Oh… okay. If you’re willing to help, I’d appreciate it. I wanted to do Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas. A nod to Love, Actually .”
“I have no idea what that is, but I know the song. I can help.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’m obligated, am I not, darling?” I joked.
“You’re still here?” Jack griped.
I spun to see her holding a light-up Santa.
“It waves! It fucking waves, Lars!”
I snickered. “Language, kid. Okay, fine. It’s your choice. Your project, your choice.”
“Well, aren’t you in a rush? We gotta go, right?”
I looked at Rose. I didn’t quite want to leave. I was enjoying this big middle finger to my mother’s plan and our scheming. She’d given me something to look forward to.
“Uh, yes. Right. Rose, give me your number, and I will text you. I’ll grab some stuff this afternoon and meet you back at the ship. Text me your slip number.”
“Okay!” Rose beamed. “I’m so excited.”
I transferred her lights to the other cart, and she put her number on my mobile phone. I texted her a hello. She continued to browse as we checked out—only after we picked out plenty of American snacks for the road. Walking to the car, Jack laughed.
“You have no time for me, but a pretty girl distracts you, and you can spend all day. So typical!”
“What?”
“You were flirting with her. I know you were.”
I shook my head, “Rose is a friend. She’s the baby sister of my mates. She’s Queen Natalie’s goddaughter.”
“Ah, yes, because that makes her untouchable.”
“Kid, I appreciate your attempts to understand, but this is grownup stuff.”
“Nah. You have a crush on her. I don’t blame you. She’s cute. And she seems sweet. What are you texting her about?”
“I am helping her with her boat. She wants to do a light show.”
“Oh, can I, too?”
I sighed. “Yes.”
I just doubled my work—all to please two girls.