Chapter 6 #2
“Well, I’ll be…” Suzie, Seril’s mom says with a smirk, leaning into her boyfriend Hank’s side.
“The turkeys finally added the stuffing.” My brain stutters, trying to process her words.
Everyone slowly turns to stare at Suzie, thankfully, taking the attention off Sophia.
She pushes between us, her face scrunching in confusion, her shyness forgotten.
Releasing her hand, I rest my arm over her shoulders, Yak’s arm winding around her waist.
“Uh…come again?” Hank asks Suzie. She starts laughing, pointing at the three of us.
“I’d say they’ve come several times.”
“Mom, why did you call them turkeys?”
“Seril, honey, I raised you better than this.” Suzie points at Yak, “White meat.” She points at me, “Dark meat.” Then she points at Sophia. “Stuffing.” Suzie blinks rapidly, deflating with a frown. “Wait. The white meat and dark meat make sense, but Sophia isn’t stuffing, she’s being stuffed.”
“Moving past fowl puns…” Zilv pauses with a grin for everyone to groan. “I still don’t understand how you two weren’t already dating.”
“What?” Esther and her sisters squawk at once. “You and Monty aren’t a couple?”
Gertie snorts, “We shipped you two years ago.”
“A little Oreo swirl action—”
Jonah stands abruptly, his chair falling to the floor. “FOR FUCK’S SAKE! Mother!” Sarah stares at her son. “It was you!”
She sniffs haughtily. “I have no idea what you are referring to.”
Jonah’s whiney voice grates on me until I register his words.
“You wrote an anonymous email to Swingin’ Schlay requesting a series about muscular interracial gay couples called Oreo Swirl.
” If I thought the room was silent when we walked in a few moments ago…
you can hear Jonah’s balls shrivel until they ascend back into his body.
“It was anonymous until right now.” Gertie and Esther bitch and now Tevye’s, Zilv’s, and Moshe’s balls have left the conversation as well.
Harper starts giggling, then throws her head back and howls, slapping her hand on the table. “I told you not to kink shame the elderly!” Her husband is unimpressed, as are his mom and aunts.
“Harper, we like you, but I warned you not to refer to us as elderly.” Esther remarks casually, her voice threaded with the steel of the previous Sarai Ima.
Harper swallows hard. “I’m sorry, but his discomfort is so delicious.”
“I am your husband!” Jonah bitches, dropping into his seat and pouting at his wife.
“Fix your marriage on your own time, I want to hear more about this.” Blanche nods toward us, still standing awkwardly in the doorway of the dining room.
“So, Sophia…has your cherry been dipped in chocolate yet?” Yak growls at Blanche but she doesn’t care.
I urge Sophia further into the room, Yak and I guiding her to a seat, and taking the ones on either side of her.
Seril, bless her heart, moves the conversation along, ignoring Blanche. “What do we call you? You aren’t a couple.” She taps her finger against her lips. “Throuple? Triad?”
“Can’t use triad.” Moshe corrects automatically, trying to get the spoon in his son’s mouth, though Shon seems determined to wear it instead.
“Oh. Because of the Asian mafia syndicate thingy?” Moshe smiles indulgently at his wife, then pisses her off when he taps the spoon on the tip of her nose.
“Yes, but also The Piedmont Triad here in North Carolina.” Seril rolls her eyes and wipes her nose. I shake out Sophia’s napkin and place it in her lap, while Yak starts filling her plate with food. I pour a glass of chocolate milk for her, kiss her temple, and then start filling mine.
“Alright, so what do we call them?”
“Is there sword crossing?”
“Triangular affair?”
“Devil’s three-way?”
“Tricycle?”
“Triumvirate?”
“Oh, you went old school Roman, I like it.”
“Why are we here? We could have just had breakfast in our suite.” Sophia’s face is bright pink as the others discuss our relationship. Her big doe-eyes pleading with us to make it stop.
“Do you want me to kill them?” Yak asks seriously. Sophia snickers but shakes her head. “I can maim them.”
“No, no violence necessary.” Sighing, she looks around the table. “They’re like squirrels, something shiny will catch their attention soon.”
“Ruthie!” Tovah’s voice quiets the table.
Ruthie glances at her cousin warily, which is a fair reaction to the Dark Queen.
“I am afraid you have been dethroned, Kinky Kitten.” Tov waves her hand at the three of us.
“Hat Trick here is now top dog.” Ruthie’s eyes brighten, then she jumps out of her seat and rushes from the room.
Zeppo glares at Tovah. “Why are you even up right now? Shouldn’t you be getting comfy in your coffin?”
Dottie sits across from us, Ezra at her side. “Sophia?” I brace for impact, unsure how Sophia’s sisters will react to the three of us being together. “Is this what you want?” Sophia shakes her head. Now my balls are attempting to flee. She was an enthusiastic participant—
“Absolutely not. I wanted the three of us to stay naked in bed all day. But I was forced to come to breakfast. Yak said it’d be fun.” She turns a mutinous glare on Yak who remains unfazed next to her.
He shrugs. “I’m having fun.”
“Sophia, are you happy?”
She nods emphatically at Rose. “Absolutely.”
“We’ll discuss—”
“I have an appointment already scheduled with a therapist Vandy recommended.” Sophia interrupts Dottie, and smiles at Vandy. “Thank you again.”
“You’re quite welcome.” Vandy’s brows slant as she studies the three of us. I have a feeling we’ll be the subject of scrutiny for a while.
Ruthie, out of breath and flushed, runs back into the dining room with an ornate wooden box in her hand. She slides to a stop next to Sophia. With a solemn nod, she presents the box to Sophia, dropping into a low curtsey. What the fuck is happening?
“This is yours now.” Sophia accepts the box with shaky hands. She glances at Yak and I, then leans forward to address Tovah.
“What is this?”
Tovah sits back in her seat, her hand on the back of Masud’s neck.
“Ruthie’s reign as kinkiest of the Kosher Nostra has come to an end.
She now passes the mantle to you, Sophia.
” Tovah raises her glass of orange juice high into the air.
“May you remain connected through all of life’s troubles, because together you are stronger than you could ever be apart.
” We all drink to her toast, several of us clearly baffled by her kind words.
Until Sophia opens the damn box.
“Is that an octopus?” I ask lowly. My dick reacting before my brain can process.
“It has NEVER been used.” Ruthie assures Sophia. Our girl is speechless, her mouth open, eyes practically bugging out of her head.
Tovah sighs dramatically. “Pity. That is a cocktopus. Use it by itself or wear it as you stretch her to her limits as you enjoy the mini-massaging beads inside with a detachable 5-speed vibrating cock-ring for his and her…and his pleasure.” My dick lengthens down my leg at just the thought of Yak ordering me to use it on Sophia.
A distressed sound escapes Sophia. Yak moves quickly, lifting her to his lap instantly and kissing her head as he runs his hand down her back. I slide into her seat, and she rests on both of us. She’s hot to the touch, and when she looks up at me, her eyes are glassy with arousal.
“This family is fucked up.” David throws his napkin and stands. He picks up Esther and tosses her over his shoulder. He stomps out of the room, and we hear Esther’s giggles down the hall.
Before anyone else moves to find privacy, Zilv smacks his hand on the table.
“I’m gonna move out. I’m gonna leave and start over somewhere else…
away from feelings and horny family members.
Everyone is all loved up and it’s sickening.
” He waves at Blanche and Rose. “We are all alone, all that is left…unless—”
“NO!” Rose and Blanche scream.
Zilv blinks several times. “Fine. I’ll just die alone!”
Blanche reaches over and pats his shoulder hard. “That’s the spirit.”
He turns wild eyes to his cousin Sophie. “What is the male term for spinster? Do they collect cats or are they assigned a different animal to hoard? Is there a union or guild?”
Yak leans down to whisper in Sophia’s ear, his heated gaze on me. My skin breaks out in goosebumps, anticipation boiling my blood. “Should I have Monty don the cocktopus and fuck you until you can’t remember your own name?”
She shifts, her back to the table, her eyes darting between us. “I’m a little overwhelmed. And I have two client meetings this morning. Can we revisit the idea this evening?”
Yak answers with a harsh, “Absolutely. Thank you for your honesty.”
Looking at us from under her lashes, her cheeks darken. “I won’t forget my name…because the two of you will be screaming it by the end of the night.”
“Fuck.”