Chapter 14
ARAVIND
I woke quietly at first—a slow crawl toward consciousness—and then suddenly all at once. It had been a while since Leon and I had shared any kind of bed, so I didn’t confuse the warm body steadily breathing beneath mine for his.
Thank god.
The last person I ever wanted to think about was my ex when I was with Tiago. I never, in my wildest fucking dreams, thought I’d be lying on top of the searing hot D-man, but here I was.
And here he was.
He had both arms flung up over his head, and his mouth was slightly parted with his breath, and he didn’t stir when I carefully unwound my legs from his. I had a mark on my calf from where it had been pressed against his brace all night, and I grimaced.
Was he meant to be sleeping in that? I had no idea what his recovery was supposed to look like.
We hadn’t talked about it. We hadn’t talked about much apart from his shit-ass family and how much he apparently liked me. That was still sitting heavy in my chest.
The way he spoke to me—the way he spoke about me—was so different from everyone else.
I embraced being pretty like it was a shield.
I’d always sort of toed the line with gender expression.
I spent my formative teenage years trying to figure out if it was because I wasn’t a boy at all or if it was just because I liked soft, pretty things.
For now, it was the latter, but in reality, I didn’t care how people saw me.
I’d always been small and delicate. I let that distract people who preferred guys like me from looking any deeper because it was easy to get rejected by men who didn’t want anyone fem. It was a more comfortable pill to swallow when I became too much for them.
Like with Leon. It was easy when he was just into dressing me up in silk and fucking me silly in front of a mirror. But when he started to get to know me—when he spent most of his time telling me that I was too loud and took up too much space—that’s when I started to feel the cracks forming.
But I didn’t want simple anymore. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life looking for easy.
I just wanted to be enough for someone as I was, and I couldn’t rely on Tiago for that. That wasn’t what this was. My offer to convince his family that I was in love with him was genuine. They deserved to eat a mountain of fucking crow until they were shitting beaks and feathers for a year.
But I would never, ever tell Tiago how good it felt to pretend like I really was in love with him.
I wasn’t, of course. I barely knew him. But he was that quiet, unspoken fantasy I hadn’t ever let myself get too attached to. And it felt almost cruel that the universe would dump him in my lap like this.
Holding back a groan, I slipped from the bed, stretched a few times until the ache left my spine, then tiptoed into the hallway to use the second bathroom.
I snagged my robe on the way, and after my bladder was empty and my hands were washed, I set out to find some coffee.
My dad really had made sure the place was stocked.
My aunties must have sent over a list because the freezer, fridge, and pantries were full of what would eventually become weeks of meals.
Of course I wasn’t about to get started without them. I still burned water trying to make oatmeal on a good day. But I could do coffee. And toast. Maybe some eggs because I knew Tiago was going to need protein.
As I started the coffee going, I leaned against the sink and peered out the window. I had an unobstructed view of the ocean just beyond the pool, and there was nothing better than watching the sun rise over the low Atlantic waves.
The water was a deep navy—nearly black so early in the morning. There were low clouds, which promised rain, and I didn’t mind. It was my favorite kind of weather.
It was probably going to put a damper on Tiago’s family’s beach day, but I wasn’t sad about that. They deserved to sit in their fucking discomfort.
BZZT! BZZT!
I was just popping open my viloxazine bottle when my phone buzzed, and I snatched it up, glaring at the screen until I noticed it was my dad.
“It’s way too fucking early for this call,” I said as I swallowed down my pill with a handful of sink water. “Tell me it’s not an emergency.”
“I saw through the doorbell cam that you brought someone home. And it looked like Nadeau.”
Of fucking course he would have looked. I’d forgotten about that goddamn bit of security. “Quit spying on me, weirdo.”
“Why is Tiago Nadeau in our beach house?” he pressed.
I groaned into my hand, then walked over to snatch a mug from the cupboard. “His family has a place on the island. They also suck. Like…a lot. You would have punched someone in the face, Dad. I swear.”
“Beta…”
“I mean it. They were treating him like garbage. They’re making him share a room with his teenage nephew.”
He was quiet for a beat, and then he sighed. “Will he be there the entire time?”
“I mean…I can kick him out if you want.”
“No! Of course not. Not after everything he’s been through. But I thought you two didn’t like each other.”
“We’ve, ah—we’ve come to an understanding. And you don’t have to clutch any pearls, okay? I gave him my room, so neither of the aunties are displaced, and your room will be untouched.”
He groaned. “He can sleep in my bed, Aravind. The couch isn’t healthy for your back, and the last thing you need is to get sick.”
“I’m not going to get cholera and die from sleeping on the couch,” I started.
“It’s by the ocean. It’s damp.”
I was a thousand percent sure he was fucking with me at this point. “Anyway, he said he’s got an assistant or something who can find him a place to stay if you think it’ll be too crowded.”
“If you’re okay with having him there, I’m okay with it. But remember, you’re at the house to recover from everything.”
Everything. Shitty job, shitty breakup, the still-aching grief of losing Mom.
But Tiago wasn’t making it worse. No, it was quite the opposite.
I sipped on the hot, bitter coffee, then set it down and rummaged through the fridge for creamer. It was the grocery store-brand Italian sweet cream flavor, which was good enough.
“I miss you,” I told him after a long silence.
He sighed into the phone. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. I have a few meetings with Derek, and then I have to fly up to Montreal, but I’ll be there next weekend.”
Derek…it took me a moment to put a face to the name. He was the Glaciers’ GM, also recently hired on after the shitshow that was Noah’s tenure with the team.
I didn’t know him, but my dad didn’t hate him, so that was something.
“I’m going to go. I need coffee and food.”
“Cook something healthy. Don’t go to McDonald’s every single morning before your aunties get there.”
“I know how to take care of myself,” I said. Not to mention, there wasn’t a McDonald’s on the island. I would have fucked up a hash brown right then if I could have. “Talk soon, okay?”
“Okay. I love you.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
I set my phone on the counter and turned, nearly jumping out of my skin the moment my eyes fell on a rumpled, fully naked Tiago. Well, apart from one sock and his knee brace.
His eyes were half-shut, and he had one hand on the wall, and I knew for a fact that he couldn’t see me.
“It’s the offseason, babe. You know you can sleep in, right?”
He sniffed, then shuffled a few steps closer. “I smelled coffee.” He spoke like he was still half-asleep, and hell, maybe he was.
I took another mug down and poured him some, and by the time I was setting the pot back, Tiago was all up in my space. He pressed his body against me, face buried in my neck, arms around my waist. He breathed out, and I could tell he’d brushed his teeth by the sharp, minty scent.
I didn’t mind the cuddling at all. It was something distinctly lacking from all my previous relationships. It was a thing I liked—hell, that I was kind of obsessed with. Even from childhood, I always wanted to be held.
But this wasn’t a relationship, and I wasn’t quite sure Tiago remembered that in his dozing state.
Well, I wasn’t going to be the one who reminded him. I was more than happy to be bossy as fuck in the bedroom. I liked being in control there. But I liked this too. I liked being small enough to disappear in a massive hockey D-man’s sleep-heavy arms.
“Coffee, honey,” I murmured.
His hand darted out, fingers grazing over the counter until he found it. He let each fingertip encircle the rim of the mug, but he didn’t pick it up. He just held me tighter with his free arm and rubbed his nose up and down the tendon in my neck.
I let out breath, then thought fuck it and held him back. He smelled like my bed. Like the hand soap from the bathroom. Like sweat. A bit like come.
A lot like me.
It sent something wild and possessive up my spine. Something that told me if I wasn’t careful, this whole thing was going to destroy me. Because we weren’t together. We were playing a part and getting a little benefit on the side.
And someday, I was going to go home, and so was he.
And one day, I’d open up one of my social media apps, and he’d be there.
It would be some god-awful press posting an article about how Tiago Nadeau was getting married to a hot supermodel while I was still being set up on bad blind dates by all of my aunties and cousins.
I realized after a moment that while Tiago was still holding me, his breathing had evened out. It was puffing across my neck the same way it had when he was dead asleep. I grazed a touch up and down his spine, but he didn’t move apart from letting out the softest groan.
I should probably wake him. That would be the responsible thing to do. I didn’t know if awake-Tiago would want to be cuddling in my kitchen like this. He didn’t really come across as a snuggly guy.
Though to be fair, I didn’t know what kind of guy he was. I’d met angry Tiago. Nervous Tiago. Hurt Tiago. I’d also gotten to know horny Tiago quite well, and I was starting to see amused Tiago.