40. Ashton
ASHTON
W ednesday morning, I walk into the shelter and a huge banner is rigged to the ceiling that reads, “ Congratulations !”
Lynn and Marissa pop out from behind it. Lynn rings a cowbell, and Marissa toots a party horn.
Despite my exhaustion, I smile and allow Lynn’s full-body tackle as she almost knocks me to the floor with her hug.
I took two mental health days off from work, and yet, I’m still fatigued from all the emotional distress—but I need the distraction work can offer. I texted Lynn the good news about my offer on the ranch being accepted. While I anticipated her excitement, I hadn’t expected this level of welcome.
“Congratulations, honey! I’m so proud of you! You did it!”
My lips lift, but I don’t feel the same measure of happiness I should inside. My confusion over Griffin has left me half-hollow. The glow of gaining the ranch is faint due to the absence of the person who helped make it happen.
As the girls suggested, I texted him last night.
Ashton
I’m not quite ready to talk yet, but I just want you to know I believe you about Scarlet.
And I really do, the initial shock of witnessing them together just stung. I let my insecurities of my past cloud my judgement.
Griffin
Thank you! You have nothing to worry about where she’s concerned. I promise. I only want to be with you.
My heart aches at his words. I want him, too. I just don’t want his lifestyle, but I’d never ask him to leave his career for me.
Ashton
I also forgive you for not telling me about our parents. I can see why you felt like you were protecting me.
Griffin
I really was. I never thought they’d be together this long, or that they’d attend the gala. I should have known better. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I promise I’ll never keep another secret like that from you again.
Ashton
I still need more time to think about us.
My gut twists, thinking of the gala and all the paparazzi in my face. I can’t handle that kind of constant stress in my life again…
Ashton
I’m not sure I can live your lifestyle.
Griffin
I understand, I come with baggage. But together, we can do it. I’ll protect you the best I can. Ashton, you make everything in my life better. I need you. I love you. I only want the best for you.
Tears slipped from my eyes once again, because deep down, I know this.
It’s what makes everything hurt and why it’s that much harder to decide.
I love him, too. But is that enough? We may want the best for each other, but we may not be the best for each other.
So instead, I let the hours tick by, and the cavern in my chest grow wider and wider.
Lynn holds out both arms, beaming at me. “You finally made your dream come true.”
“Thanks, Lynn.” My words have as much enthusiasm as a broken squeaky toy. Griffin should be celebrating with me.
Behind Lynn, Marissa’s hand holding the party horn, falls. She looks at me with pity.
Great. Even a self-absorbed teenager feels sorry for me. My life has hit a new low.
Lynn tilts her head, and her eyes soften. “Oh, honey, what’s the matter? Why aren’t you happy? This is a big deal.”
I nod and look away. “I know, I know it is.”
“Marissa, would you mind refilling all the dog bowls, please?”
“Sure.” She walks toward the swinging doors at the back. “And congrats, Ashton.” Her voice is deflated.
I ruined their big surprise. What a jerk.
“Come, come, let’s sit down. Tell me all about it.” Lynn ushers me into a chair behind the front desk.
Lynn witnessed Griffin chasing me at the gala, hollering my name, but she doesn’t know any of the whys.
I fill her in.
After my spiel, she grabs a box of Kleenex and hands it to me. She gives me a moment to wipe my tears and my nose. She spins my chair to face her directly, my knees bumping into hers.
“Now listen here, missy, because this is important. I spent too many years of my life building walls against men because I’d been burned in my younger days.
I was content to be single despite my overwhelming loneliness at times.
It wasn’t until I met my Jacob in my senior years of life that I realized just how often I pretended loneliness didn’t affect me.
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed the similar walls you’ve built around yourself these past five years.
Yes, you’ve opened up to me, but it wasn’t until you met that man—Griffin—that you finally opened yourself up to new possibilities.
” She wipes a tear from my cheek. “You finally started building bridges, honey. Think of all the friendships you’ve made.
First with Wren, then Luke, and even opening yourself to your sister again. It’s a beautiful thing.
“A man that helps heal a part of you is a man worth keeping around. He mended a piece of you that you thought was broken forever. He gave you the gift of relationships and friendships back into your life. That’s something pretty special.”
“But what if I get hurt again?”
She shrugs. “You might. Odds are, if you stay together, you will. But that’s why they call it love. You have to continually choose love. You fight for it.”
My heart lifts slightly, the possibility of us glowing inside me. I want it so badly.
“But what about his career? How can I be with someone who’s constantly kissing other women?”
“Because you’ll be secure enough in your relationship to trust him. And when you’re not, you talk about it. Communication is everything.”
“But what about jealousy? I can’t just make that go away.”
She squeezes my hand. “You can, and you will, because I have no doubt that if that man loves you as much as I suspect he does, he’ll banish your doubts by proving his love for you every single day.”
“I’ll have to deal with the constant paparazzi attacks again. I’ll be miserable.”
“Oh, hogwash. You two will become some boring married couple completely devoted to one another. What’re they gonna say? Oh, look at this sweet couple still so in love . Boring!”
A smile stretches across my face.
The swinging doors burst open, and Marissa comes running to the front desk. “You guys, you have to see this!”
“What? What is it?” Lynn asks, rolling her chair back.
Marissa wedges in between us. “Griffin! He’s on TV, and he’s talking about you !”
My heart plummets with dread.
At the sight of Griffin on his familiar back patio, Roxy resting her head in his lap, I lurch forward and snatch the phone, wanting a closer look.
He looks comfortable in his jeans and T-shirt—more like the Griffin I’ve come to know rather than the one I’ve seen on TV, usually half-dressed.
The ache to be near him, to have him hold me again, grows at the sight of him.
Gwen says to Griffin, “So it’s true? You left Scarlet for her?”
Griffin holds up his finger. “No, remember, a publicity stunt. There was never a legitimate relationship between Scarlet and me. We pretended to have a relationship for mutually beneficial reasons.”
My stomach drops. “What is he doing?” He’s going to ruin everything he’s worked for! He’ll lose the film contract. And his gleaming reputation.
Marissa’s head is glued next to mine. “What’s he talking about? He never really dated Scarlet?”
Lynn and I both shush her.
She leans back, affronted, but keeps her eyes on the phone screen.
“—Ashton deserves that, too. She’s nothing like the tabloids portray her as. Social media has got it all wrong. She’s the most kind, caring, genuine woman I’ve ever met.”
My breaths come in quick succession.
Gwen asks, “You’re saying she never came between you and Scarlet?”
With his gorgeous, bright, topaz eyes, Griffin looks directly toward the camera. It’s as though he’s speaking directly to me.
“What I’m saying is, there never was a real relationship with Scarlet Rhodes.
Ashton Reid was never the other woman . She is the woman.
And I love her. And that means I’ll do anything to keep her protected.
That means making sure the public gets it right.
Even if you don’t believe me about my relationship with Scarlet—fine.
Make me the bad guy here, not her. Never her. ”
He just told the whole world he loves me.
He loves me. He really loves me.
My ears tune out the rest of the interview. I stare at the desk, my focus blurring.
Marissa says something next to me, but she might as well be one of the adults speaking on The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show as much as I catch what she’s saying.
He loves me. He said it for everyone to hear. He put me before his career. Said he’d protect me.
And I believe him.
There’s no more hiding. No more pretending. The man is mine if I want him.
And boy, do I ever.
I rip out my cell phone and open a text thread I started with Wren and Cecily.
Ashton
Are you guys busy tomorrow? Think you could help me get ready for a premiere tomorrow night?