‘Don’t Speak’ by No Doubt （1996）
‘Oh, God,’ she said, ‘this song …’
‘It’s highs and lows, isn’t it, your collection?’
‘If I start to cry here—’
‘Light and shade, it’s a rollercoaster.’
‘I’m serious. This was my first break-up song, year ten, Sean Hayward. I listened to it on a loop and we’d only gone out once. Nick’s Big Easy Diner.’
‘Big Nick’s Easy Diner.’
‘Easy Nick’s Big Diner. Except there was nothing easy about it.’
‘What did you have?’
‘Sean had sticky ribs and a baked potato. I had the jumbo shrimp cocktail, because I wanted to impress.’
‘Seafood.’
‘I know, quite bold in landlocked Bromley. Then we went to see Deep Impact. I was having all these fantasies about me and Sean Hayward surviving a tidal wave together and we walked out and he dumped me.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘’S okay.’
‘Did you really feel like you were losing a best friend?’
‘Like the song. I thought I was dying. Of course, everyone else thought it was really funny but when you’re fourteen, my God, that stuff. Didn’t you have that?’
‘Paula Mattis. But that was later, seventeen. Still, heart-breaking.’
‘If only we’d had some kind of magic potion.’
‘Exactly.’
‘A break-up at that age, it has a kind of quality to it, like you’ve learnt it from a song. Course you’d die rather than admit it and it is agony but it’s also an impression of agony. Your life’s over but, you know, give it a couple of weeks. I liked the innocence of that. With Neil, it was mainly about paperwork and money and the shame of telling people. Not heartbreak, shame. Was it like that for you?’
‘No. No, that was heartbreak.’
‘Was it? Oh. I’m sorry.’
‘I like this guitar solo.’
‘You’re changing the subject.’
‘Yep.’
‘Fair enough. If you want to tell me not to speak—’
‘Don’t speak! No, you can speak.’
‘The song’s got quiet but don’t be fooled, it’s going to get loud again.’
‘Do you think when he hears this song, what’sisname—’
‘Sean Hayward?’
‘—on the radio or through an open window, he stops. Looks up. Thinks …’ Michael rubbed his chin, looked skywards ‘… Where are you, Marnie Walsh?’
She laughed. ‘Absolutely one hundred per cent no.’
‘I bet he does. I bet he thinks you were real good.’
‘Okay, your turn. I hope this lightens the mood.’