Chapter 50
LIV
On Monday morning, Finn woke up and said he wasn’t feeling well.
I coaxed him to eat his breakfast but it was taking him an age to lift the spoon from the bowl to his lips.
This had been an all-too familiar sight over the last few mornings.
Finn used to be a great eater – he would wolf down whatever dish we put in front of him – but lately, he would languish over his breakfast. I decided to err on the side of caution and keep him at home from school for the day but five minutes later, he was bouncing around the house and I knew there was nothing wrong with him.
I didn’t think much of it but when he tried to do the same thing on Tuesday morning, I started to suspect he was anxious about going to school.
We walked together towards the school and as soon as the red-bricked building came into view, I felt Finn’s fingers cling tightly to my own.
‘What’s wrong, sweetheart?’
He was biting down on his bottom lip. ‘I don’t want to go in there, Mammy.’
‘But you have to go to school. All your friends are there.’
‘I have no friends.’
‘That’s not true. What about all the little boys you play with in the yard?’
‘They don’t want to play with me any more.’
All the traffic noise and parents’ chattering faded into the background and was replaced by an angry buzzing noise in my ears.
‘W-why not?’
‘Because Elliot told them not to.’
‘Did they say that to you?’
He nodded his head. ‘Elliot told them not to play with me because I’m fat.’
‘You know that’s not true. He’s not allowed to talk about you like that, sweetheart. If he says anything like that again, you have to tell your teacher.’
‘But then he’ll be even meaner if I tell on him.’
‘I promise you, honey that if your teacher knows what’s going on, he won’t be allowed to call you names any more.’
I eventually managed to prise my hand from his grip and I saw white marks from where his fingers had pressed into my skin. I convinced him to go into the classroom by bribing him with a trip to the toy shop at the weekend.
‘We need to talk to his teacher,’ Jay said that evening when I told him what had happened.
‘Just hold on, I’ll talk to Maya. I don’t want to drag the school into it if we can help it.’
‘Liv!’ Jay cried out in disbelief. ‘We need to go straight to the teacher. Enough is enough. Elliot is bullying our son and what’s more, he’s turning the other boys against him too.’
‘But Jay, it isn’t that straightforward.
Maya is my friend; if the shoe was on the other foot, I’d hope that she’d come to me first. I owe her the courtesy of letting her know before the whole thing blows up.
Hopefully, she can sort it out with Elliot before the school needs to intervene.
Once she knows what’s going on, I’m sure she’ll deal with it. ’
‘You said that last time and did nothing about it. We can’t let him get away with this. It’s been going on for too long. You said to give him time to settle and we did that. Now it’s nearly Christmas, it’s getting worse and it’s taking its toll on Finn.’
‘I know, I can see it.’
‘So you’re going to talk to her?’
‘Yes,’ I said a touch defensively. ‘I need to pick the right time. I can’t just ambush her by bringing it up at the school; maybe I could ask her to go for coffee,’ I suggested weakly.
‘All right,’ he said sceptically. ‘But if this doesn’t work then we’re going straight into the school.’
‘Of course,’ I agreed.
I hadn’t seen Maya since the fundraiser at the weekend. I had half-thought she might call me the following day, embarrassed by what she had confessed to me on Friday night, but I didn’t hear a thing from her.
I took up my phone and drafted out a text:
Do you want to meet for coffee after the school drop tomorrow?
I deleted it and then tried again:
Fancy grabbing a coffee after the school run tomorrow?
I wanted it to sound light and breezy. Then I pressed send. I felt bad doing it under false pretences but I knew the situation couldn’t continue any longer. I felt my stomach lurch when she replied almost instantly saying:
Sounds good, I wanted to talk to you about something anyway.
I guessed she probably wanted to discuss what she had told me on Friday night which would make it even more difficult for me to bring up the subject of what was happening between the boys.
The timing couldn’t be worse, especially when she was going through a tough time.
And now, I was about to add to her worries.
I didn’t sleep that night. I kept rehearsing what I was going to say to Maya the following morning.
How I was going to bring it up. What would I do if she got upset?
I knew the situation already weighed heavily on her and she felt guilty for the effect it was having on Elliot; I didn’t want to add to her load.
I was worried that this might just be too much for her.
‘Are you okay?’ Jay asked the next morning. ‘You don’t look too good.’
‘I didn’t sleep a wink,’ I confessed. ‘I’m dreading seeing Maya later.’
‘You need a coffee,’ he said, springing up and filling the kettle. ‘I’m happy to go with you if you find it really awkward,’ he offered as the kettle grumbled to life.
I shook my head. ‘Thanks, but that might make her feel like we’re ganging up on her.’
Jay made the coffee and placed the mug on the countertop before me.
Finn was staring into his breakfast forlornly.
‘Finn, eat up, son, it’s nearly time to go,’ Jay encouraged.
We both exchanged a look over his head. I could already predict that when it was time for us to leave, he would tell me he was sick or had a pain in his tummy. If I had any doubt in my mind about the conversation I needed to have with Maya, my son’s behaviour made it clear what I had to do.
Finn walked impossibly slowly on the path to school whereas previously, he would run along in front of me, leaving me sprinting to keep up.
He clung to me as soon as the school building came into view and I felt his fingers pressing into my skin when it was time to say goodbye.
I knew the situation couldn’t continue; it was having a bad effect on him.
When I finally managed to extricate my hand out of his grip, I stood and watched him walk inside the building to make sure he didn’t make a run for it. Once he had safely gone in, I turned around and saw Maya waiting for me at the gate.
‘Finn doesn’t want to go in either, huh?’ she said. ‘I had the same battle with Elliot this morning.’
We began strolling towards the coffee shop.
‘Let me get these,’ Maya offered. ‘You go get a table.’
I made my way down the back and found a discreet table with nobody else sitting around. I wanted the space if necessary in case she got upset.
‘Liv, I was glad when you suggested we meet,’ Maya said as she stirred her matcha a few minutes later. ‘I wanted to talk to you about something.’
‘Oh yeah?’ I said, trying to act surprised but guessing she wanted to talk about what she had told me on Friday night.
‘Look, there’s no easy way for me to say this and I really hate having to do this… but, well…’ she broke off.
‘Look, I won’t say a word if that’s what you’re worried about,’ I said, helping her out. ‘It stays with me.’
She looked momentarily confused. ‘Sorry?’
‘About what you told me on Friday,’ I prompted.
‘It’s not that… Liv…’ she said dismissively.
What shocked me more was that there was no awkwardness or sheepishness on her part about it all; it was as if nothing had ever happened.
I couldn’t decide whether she was embarrassed to have told me and she was deliberately blocking it out of her head.
Or perhaps she had been so drunk that she had simply forgotten.
‘I hate having to do this but Elliot said that Finn isn’t being very kind to him.
You may not be aware but Finn pushed Elliot recently.
I let it go because I hoped it might have been an isolated incident.
I didn’t say anything before now because I thought, they’re kids…
let them sort it out between themselves…
but he’s deliberately excluding him and I feel I have to intervene now. ’
I was stunned. ‘Are you serious?’ was all I could manage to splutter. I felt blindsided, like she had swooped in and pipped me to the post.
‘I’m sorry, I know it isn’t nice hearing something like that about your child.’
I shook my head. ‘That’s why I wanted to meet you, actually.
It’s just that Finn has been really upset at home and he said Elliot has been calling him fat and saying he looked like a girl.
That’s why he wanted to cut his hair,’ I added.
‘And that incident between them in the yard – Finn only pushed Elliot because he pushed him first!’
‘Really?’ Maya asked, hiking her brows in a way that told me she didn’t believe a word I was telling her. Did she think this was damage limitation? That I was making this up to push the blame back on Elliot?
‘Y-yes,’ I said, recovering. ‘It’s been going on a while…’
‘That’s not what Ms Higgins said.’
‘Because she only witnessed Finn pushing Elliot; she didn’t see what had happened before that which led Finn to push Elliot.’
‘Okay…’ she said, sucking in sharply. ‘Well… wow… this is super awkward… I don’t want to accuse Finn of lying—’
‘He’s not lying—’ I interjected, suddenly finding my confidence. Not only was her son bullying Finn but now she was trying to flip the truth around and accuse Finn of being the aggressor. I had to speak up for my son’s sake.
‘I see…’ she continued coolly. ‘Well, I’ve spoken with Ms Higgins and she confirmed that Elliot has been isolated by the other boys in the class so he’s not making this up.’
So she had got to the teacher first. I felt the blood pump faster through my veins and heat break out across my neck. I had convinced Jay to wait and let me approach the topic with Maya first but I was shocked that she hadn’t afforded me the same courtesy.
‘But Maya, the reason why Elliot’s being left out is because he’s mean to the other kids. He lashes out when he doesn’t get his own way and he doesn’t want to share. You’ve seen it yourself when they’ve been together. We deliberately told Finn not to play with him.’
‘Oh right,’ she said angrily. ‘So basically, you’re the instigator in all of this?’
‘No!’ I cried. ‘That’s not what I said!’ I wasn’t going to have my son blamed for this. I knew Finn and he was a kind and sensitive child. Elliot was spoilt and unfortunately seemed to have a nasty streak.
‘I’ve just told you that my son is being excluded by the other boys in the class and you just told me that you told your son not to play with him!
’ she cried. ‘It doesn’t get any clearer than that.
’ Maya stood up from the table, signalling that this conversation was over.
‘Look, I don’t want us to fall out over this but maybe we each should just take some space here.
Let’s have another word with the boys and try to get their side of this. ’
I stood up after her and grabbed my bag. ‘Yes,’ I agreed through gritted teeth. ‘Maybe we should.’