Chapter Two
It’s the third day of our holiday and I’m on the beach early, again, watching the divers. I raise my hand in greeting to the hotel worker I met when I first arrived. He must be around fifty-five or so and his face is lined and weathered from years out in the sun. I’ve passed him countless times and when I asked him, he kindly explained to me what ‘ pura vida ’ means. Apart from being a greeting and also a way of saying ‘you’re welcome’, it’s more of a mantra that the Costa Ricans live by. It doesn’t mean ‘pure life’ exactly, and it’s so much more than ‘the simple life’, but I like the philosophy, even though I may find it difficult to implement myself straight away. Old habits die hard.
My thoughts turn to Dad as they often do. Truth is, Becca wasn’t the original person I was meant to go on this trip with; it was Dad. Dad who shared his love of sloths with me when I was a young girl. Dad who showed me the photos a friend of his had taken after visiting a sloth sanctuary whilst on a cruise for his silver wedding anniversary. Something Mum and Dad couldn’t afford to do for theirs. Instead, twenty of us had gone for a meal at our favourite restaurant.
From when I was knee high to a grasshopper, as Dad used to say, we would watch all those nature programmes together. I loved learning about all the animals and their habitats, discovering the sheer number of vibrantly coloured birds to be found, the exotic places they lived. New countries. New continents. We always said one day we’d explore together. It hadn’t occurred to me it was all a fantasy. As a school janitor, Dad didn’t exactly earn much. That’s why, when I was old enough to realise this, I resolved to change things, to ensure Dad and I could go to Costa Rica. I stuck in at school, I studied hard, determined to be a vet. I’d already chosen which veterinary course I would do. The School of Veterinary Medicine at the University of Glasgow is well known for being one of the best, so it was a no-brainer for me.
But I didn’t get in. I didn’t make the cut, didn’t get the grades, and every so often it’s like the knife of fate twists in me once again. I was so sure I would get in. I know Dad was disappointed inside, but outwardly he never let it show. He wasn’t upset for himself, but for me. He knew how hard I’d worked and how much I wanted it. Going from believing I was starting at the vet school to selling pet supplies was a bit of a comedown.
I’ve worked my way up to area manager now, and I’ve been saving for a couple of years for this trip. I don’t know how many times I made Dad watch the animated movie Zootropolis for the sloth scene. It made me laugh every time I watched it. Him too. It doesn’t make me laugh any more. Not now he’s gone.
Becca was devastated when she had to pull out. This trip meant so much more to me, and by extension her, than simply going on the trip of a lifetime with a friend. She was my surrogate. She knows how important it is to me. I’m not just making this trip for me, but also for Dad. For every David Attenborough programme we watched together, for every storybook he ever bought me about sloths, for every stuffed toy that sat on my bed during my childhood. I used to get a new sloth toy every birthday. It was our tradition. I still have them, although I put all but one of them in a box in my spare bedroom once Aidan started staying over, as he kept poking fun at me. I wouldn’t expect him to understand. But after Dad passed away, I snuck Sammy back out. He’s my favourite one. He’s only five inches tall, but somehow he comforts me.
The ping of a text breaks into my thoughts and I stare down at my phone. Becca. How’s it going? How’s the weather? Have you been to see the sloths yet? I miss you. God, I wish I was there xx
I give a rueful smile. How I wish she were here, too. I type back slowly, trying to work out how honest to be, how much to tell her. Do I tell her I feel largely unimportant in Aidan’s life, and that his many faults are wearing me down? How he has all but exhausted the good work and brownie points he earned by supporting me through Dad’s illness and after his death? I feel so disloyal even thinking it, but I’m so confused. When we were first going out together, he was great fun, and he wined and dined me, which was nice as money was tight, although I did repay the favour, too. But as we’ve settled into our relationship, things have definitely changed. At first, I thought it was that the initial honeymoon phase had peaked earlier than expected, but now I wonder if it was more than that. Certainly his aggressive behaviour in the departure lounge on the way here was less than stellar. Cringeworthy is the word I’d use for his reaction at our flight being delayed, the tone he took with the ground staff, plus during our wait he barely noticed I was there, except when it came to getting a round in or being a sounding board for his complaints. I’d hoped his mean-spiritedness of late had been a blip, but now I’m concerned. Really concerned. And how does that bode for us moving in together next month, if I’m already having misgivings?
This trip, apart from being a momentous one for me, is also an emotional one because I was meant to come with Dad. Is Aidan really that oblivious? So far we haven’t left the hotel grounds as he keeps saying we have plenty of time and to stop bugging him whilst he tries to relax around the pool or on a lounger at the beach. His one saving grace was finally relenting to going in the ocean yesterday. If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t even have gone in. How can you go all the way to Costa Rica and not go in the water, for goodness’ sake? It’s the flippin’ Pacific Ocean.
I hoped– stupidly, perhaps– that this trip would bring us closer together, but so far all I want to do is smack him over the head with a frying pan. A skillet. Cast iron. Or maybe a really big, heavy phone, since that’s all he’s interested in– talking on one.
Weather’s great. How’s the leg? Not been anywhere yet. Aidan wants to chill. Have decided if he won’t come somewhere with me tomorrow, I’m going without him. So wish you were here x
Lightning fast, Becca’s response arrives. Leg’s fine, if a little itchy, and moving around is slow-going. No sloths in the hotel grounds then? Arse. Ditch him xx
I grin. I hope when he wakes that he has a rethink about going on an excursion today, but I’d bet my life savings he won’t. One thing about Aidan, he’s stubborn; once he has made his mind up about something, he doesn’t go back on it.
The divers are walking towards me. I’ve nodded and smiled back at them the last couple of days as they’ve passed. I’m the only other person ever here at this time in the morning.
I start composing another text to Becca.
‘Hey.’ One of the guys stops beside me.
I give a start and clutch my chest. I didn’t hear him approach.
He holds up his hands by way of apology. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wondered if you fancied coming diving with us one morning.’
He’s around my age, maybe a little younger, and his open and friendly manner disarms me. The faint tang of salt hangs in the air and I wonder if it’s from his skin or the ocean itself.
‘I’d like that,’ I say, surprising myself, ‘but I don’t know how.’
His smile widens. ‘Excellent. I’m Ed. Don’t worry about being a novice. I’m an instructor. These are my wingmen, Nicolás and Oscar.’
‘Kat.’
Once I’ve shaken hands with the three of them, Ed says, ‘I’ll be around later at the little pool, if you want to come practise.’ I hesitate and he jumps in, ‘Unless, of course, you have plans.’
‘No, no plans today. I’ll swing by later.’
‘Great, I’ll see you then.’
I give the three of them a little wave as they wander off, and get back to composing that message to Becca.
Well, since Aidan won’t come out to play with me, I’ve hooked up with 3 hot guys x
Yeah, you wish. In fact , I wish that for you! xx
I laugh . No, for real. I’m going diving with them tomorrow and Ed is teaching me to dive in the pool later x
WTAF? Where’s Aidan going to be??? And who’s Ed? xx
I smile at Becca’s overuse of question marks.
Ed’s the instructor. The guys stopped to talk to me today as I’m always on my bloody own. You know Aidan likes his sleep. I figured I may as well try a new experience whilst I wait for him to agree to go on an excursion with me, and I’ve always fancied diving x
New experience? But is that Ed or diving?? Her text is followed by six winking emojis. She’s incorrigible, but the banter between us has lifted my spirits. That and, of course, Ed’s kind offer to teach me how to dive. There’ll no doubt be a cost involved, but I don’t care. There’s only so much lying about, getting a tan I can do before I begin to get antsy. I’ve already finished two romance novels in three days.
As I pootle back into the hotel and head for breakfast, I hug to myself the fact that I have an activity today. Hurrah! And tomorrow, come what may, I’m going to see the sloths. Then I can start on the rest of my itinerary.
A few hours later, we’re lying on the beach when I gather up my things. Aidan puts down his newspaper. He decided he couldn’t be bothered with the sun’s glare on his phone, gave in and bought an English-language newspaper.
‘Where are you off to?’ he asks.
‘To my diving lesson, remember?’ I’d told him at breakfast as he checked emails on his phone between mouthfuls of gallo pinto .
‘What? But you don’t know how to dive,’ he says, his face screwed up in confusion.
I stare at him pointedly, only just stopping myself from putting my hands on my hips. ‘That’s kinda the point of having a lesson.’
‘But when will you ever need to dive?’
My patience evaporates entirely. ‘Aidan, I realise the fact may have escaped you, but we’re on holiday, in Costa Rica, on the Pacific Ocean, where the water is gorgeous, warm and there is a whole host of marine life to see.’
He goes to butt in, but I hold up a hand. ‘Now, I’ve done all I can with my little snorkel and the instructor was kind enough this morning to offer to help me practise.’
‘Ha! He probably wants to take a wad of your cash, more like.’
I sigh. When did he become so mean-spirited? Was he always this cynical and I didn’t notice?
‘Aidan, I don’t care if I have to pay. All I want is to enjoy myself, and in this case, learn something new.’
His face falls. ‘And what about me?’
‘What about you? You’ve barely looked up from your phone since we got here. You won’t come on the excursions I’ve waited three years to go on, despite saying you would. I came here for adventure and that’s exactly what I’m going to get.’ I stride off before I say something there’s no coming back from.
‘Kat, hi. You ready?’
‘Yep, good to go.’ My face breaks into a smile.
Ed’s doing something with breathing apparatus as I approach. Adjusting something? Adventure and fear grip me tight all at once and I can barely breathe.
A flash of concern crosses Ed’s face. ‘You OK?’
‘Yeah, just excited,’ I fib.
‘Great, so first I want you to retrieve some objects from the bottom of the pool. I need to check how good you are at holding your breath.’
Not very. Even though I used to swim competitively, holding my breath is something I’ve always struggled with. ‘OK. Let’s do this.’
Ten minutes later, I’m coughing and spluttering as I hang on to the side of the pool. ‘That’s harder than it looks.’
‘You’re doing fine. Now, let’s try that with a weight belt,’ Ed suggests.
I’ve just retrieved four objects without coming up for air. Ed has been gradually increasing the length of time I’m underwater. Apparently, it helps when it comes to using the regulator and breathing through my mouth not my nose.
Ed’s eyes crinkle as he smiles. ‘You’re beginning to get the hang of it. Right, a little more practice then we’ll get a tank on you and see if we can get you breathing through your regulator mouthpiece. You may even be able to go for a short dive tomorrow.’
The thought fills me with both trepidation and exhilaration. I steel myself. I can do this. I wanted adventure, well, here it is.
After a few more rounds of retrieving items from the bottom of the pool and Ed’s patient instruction, I feel more able and more than a little reassured that I have some clue of what I’m meant to be doing.
‘Good. I think you’re almost there. Come here.’
I stand obediently in front of him as he shows me how the mouthpiece works and then hands it to me.
‘I’ll be in the water right beside you, and we’ll go in the shallow end this time, to start you off.’
I read between the lines– in case I get spooked and flail about, drowning.
‘Can you turn around so I can put the tank on for you? Watch out. It’s heavier than you think.’
The tank is on and feels a bit odd. I’m missing some flippers, I think wryly.
‘Wait, I’ll adjust your weight belt a little. I think I misjudged it slightly.’ He slips another weight into the belt around my waist just as a voice bellows, ‘What the hell is going on here?’
Oh no! Aidan. What on earth is he doing here?
I whirl around as well as I can with the tank on my back, and Ed stands back, a frown creasing his brow.
Aidan is no longer wearing his swim shorts, but is fully dressed in a navy shirt and chinos. Has he changed his mind about us going somewhere after all? If so, typical that it would be now when I’ve told him I’ve arranged to do something else.
I grit my teeth. ‘Aidan, I told you I was going for a diving lesson.’
I can’t believe he is embarrassing me like this and spoiling my otherwise enjoyable afternoon.
‘Is that what you call it? His paws were all over you.’ Aidan’s jaw is clenched.
‘Steady on, mate. I’m a dive instructor. I was adjusting her weight belt,’ Ed says.
Aidan glares at Ed and scowls. ‘Yeah, right. And I wasn’t speaking to you, mate .’ He turns to me. ‘C’mon, Kat. Time to go.’ He grabs for my hand.
Apart from the fact it would be absolutely ridiculous for me to take his hand and leave, as I still have a tank of air on my back and a weight belt around my middle, I’m incensed.
‘Leave? I’m not leaving. I’m just beginning to enjoy myself.’
‘I bet you are,’ Aidan snarls. Then he laughs. ‘Do you honestly think this surfer boy is interested in you? You’re far too old for him for a start. Look at you, throwing yourself at him. It’s pathetic.’
‘Aidan, have you had too much sun? What’s got into you?’ My patience vanishes completely and my voice rises a decibel or two. I’ve had just about enough of him belittling me.
‘I won’t have you embarrassing me by behaving like a tart with this amoeba.’
Oh shit.
‘What did you say?’ A vein pulses in Ed’s neck as his eyes darken.
‘I said you were an amoeba.’ Aidan punctuates each word with a pause.
‘Oh, I don’t care what you said about me, what did you say about Kat?’ Ed’s voice is dangerously soft.
‘That she was behaving like a tart.’ Dismissing Ed by turning his back on him, Aidan grabs me and starts to wrestle the air tank off.
‘Aidan, get off me!’ I try to push him away, but he’s too strong, his fingers digging into my upper arms.
‘She said to leave her alone.’ Ed drags Aidan off me, and I gulp in a couple of stuttering breaths, my heart racing.
‘Why don’t you mind your own business?’ Aidan shoves Ed hard in the chest.
‘Why don’t you cool off?’ Ed pushes him hard and Aidan, arms flailing, windmills backwards into the pool. Despite the seriousness of the situation, I have to stifle a giggle.
Moments later, coughing and with hatred burning in his eyes, Aidan exits the pool, his shirt clinging to his chest, his chinos weighted down by water, almost at his hipbones. He glares daggers at us. ‘You’ll regret this,’ he says, although it’s not clear which of us his comment is directed at.
‘Aidan, do you know what? I’ve had enough. I’m not your possession. I’m fed up with you belittling everyone– the waiter, the diving instructor, me.’ I let my last word hang in the air for a second before continuing. ‘We’re done.’ All the niggles that have been bothering me lately about our relationship rise to the surface, and I think of how much he has changed, what I’ve had to put up with– the walking on eggshells around him, his heavy drinking, his telling me I can’t do things– but now I’ve had enough. I fold my arms across my chest in an attempt to both protect myself further and to show strength.
‘Done? I don’t think so. But you will pay for this.’
‘I hope that wasn’t a threat, Aidan, as I wouldn’t want to have to report that to the hotel manager,’ Ed says. ‘Perhaps you can ask at reception if they have another room available whilst you review your options.’
I hold my breath, waiting for a further outburst, and flinch at the look Aidan gives me before he squelches off, presumably to change.
‘Ed, I’m so sorry.’ Tears prick my eyes and I wrap my arms around me to try to stop myself from shaking.
‘Don’t be. You haven’t done anything wrong. Guys like him give men a bad name. Kat, I don’t know you, but I can tell you right now, you deserve better than him. And I’m not hitting on you, by the way. I’m happily married with two kids. But that guy should not be your future.’
Sadly, I couldn’t agree with him more.