Chapter Fourteen
‘So, are you coming to the cloud forest next time we go?’ Ella asks me next morning in the women’s rec room as we prepare to face the day. ‘We’re trying to figure out who wants to go so we can work out who needs to change shift with who, to allow that to happen.’
‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world,’ I say as I slip on my trainers.
‘I’ve been once before.’ She goes all starry-eyed, then focuses back on me. ‘There really are no words to describe it.’
That’s how I often feel about my life here in Costa Rica. Both the night-time jungle tour and that incredible kiss with Dexter– and what happened after. No, I didn’t sleep with him, but let’s just say there was more than one kiss. I wonder how we’ll behave around each other today. Will it be all secret, knowing smiles or will we act almost as if nothing has happened? I really hope he doesn’t act as if nothing has happened. That would be awful, not to mention awkward. Once again, I remind myself why getting involved with not only another sanctuary worker but my boss isn’t a good idea. But I like him– a lot– and I think he likes me. Well, if the way he conducted himself last night is anything to go by, he does. Wait until I tell Becca. She’ll be buying bridal magazines and choosing her bridesmaid dress. I’m kidding, but she will be ecstatic that it underlines Aidan is but a not-so-distant memory.
‘I’m on administration of meds to the sloths this morning, for those who need it. You want to tag along, see how we do that, and what protocols we need to follow?’ Ella asks.
‘That would be great.’ I really need to start feeling as if I’m contributing here. I know I’m still learning and it’s early days, but I hate being on the back foot. I hate starting new jobs, even when it’s a job I love, in a place I love. My inner voice says ‘with a man you love’. I tut. It’s a bit early for that. My inner voice sniggers.
After breakfast, I follow Ella to the hospital and we check on the patients. Flash is my first port of call. As Ella chats with Carlos, who enters the room just after us, I give my attention over to Flash, who looks to be healing nicely. A couple of other sloths are still in the hospital wing. I don’t know their names. I’ll need to ask.
‘Right, so here’s where we keep the medication,’ Ella says. She pats a cupboard to her left. ‘Here are the forms we need to fill in detailing which animal has had which medication and at what time. We also have different forms for medications that we note are running low.’ She points those out, and as she continues to talk me through the processes of how the medical side of things are run, I give her my full attention. Ella is so easy to listen to, and she really knows her stuff. I admire that in one so young. Listen to me. I’m doing it again– I’m only thirty. There’s only nine years between us. But what I mean is it’s rare for someone her age to be so knowledgeable and mature, and Ella is both, but lovely and modest with it.
She’s not preachy either, which is a welcome change. It’s clear she simply loves her job, her life, and she wants everyone else to feel the same, or at the very least know how to care for the sloths as well as she does.
When the door opens and Dexter appears, I take an involuntary step backwards. He seems to fill the room. It isn’t exactly a huge room, the hospital, despite its grandiose title, but Dexter, at over six feet, leaves little room to manoeuvre, literally, once he’s inside the room with us.
‘Hey,’ he says to both of us.
Ella lifts her head from where she’s making notes on one of the sloth’s profiles. ‘Oh, hi, Dexter. I was just showing Kat how we administer and account for the meds, and the reporting logs we fill in.’
‘Good idea.’ He turns to me. ‘Kat, you have a phone call.’
I knit my brows. ‘A phone call?’ Absent-mindedly I pat the pocket of my cargo pants where I put my mobile earlier. Nope. Still there.
‘On the sanctuary line,’ Dexter says pointedly.
I frown. ‘On the sanctuary line?’ I parrot back to him.
He nods again, but a tick pulses in his cheek.
‘But hardly anyone knows I’m here, and no one knows this number.’
‘Clearly someone does,’ he says drily.
‘Back in a sec, Ella.’ I walk past Dexter and out into the foyer, where I cross to Carlos’ office. Surely Immigration isn’t trying to deport me already.
I nod a hello to Sofia, who is sitting at the desk sorting some paperwork. ‘Dexter told me there’s a call for me.’
She waves in the direction of the phone on the other desk. ‘Yes. Apparently, they couldn’t get you on your mobile.’
Fear clutches at my heart. Has something happened back home? Is Mum all right? Despite our argument on my birthday, and the fact we often don’t see eye to eye, she’s still my mum and I’d be devastated if anything happened to her, especially after losing Dad.
‘Hello?’
‘Thank God. I’ve been out of my mind with worry.’
Aidan. You have got to be joking. If I didn’t have a phone to my ear, I’d be putting my head in my hands or hitting it off of the desk right now. Was I not clear enough?
‘Aidan, I can assure you there’s nothing to worry about.’ I try to keep my tone measured, but he brings out the worst in me and my words have a spiky edge to them.
‘How can you say that?’ he splutters. ‘You “dump” me and then don’t even come home when you’re due to return.’
I hear the quote marks in his tone, which somehow also manages to ooze condescension.
I turn my back to Sofia, unsure how much English she speaks, and unwilling to involve her in my drama. Already I’ll have to apologise for this intrusion. How dare he! How dare he!
‘Aidan, let’s be clear on one thing, I didn’t “dump you”, I dumped you. We are no longer together. We will not be together again. Finito.’ I almost say ‘Capisce?’ but I think it would make me sound like some mafia heavy.
‘Kat, you can’t just end things like this. We were about to buy a flat together.’
‘That’s right, Aidan,’ I almost screech. ‘About to. We didn’t, thankfully. End of.’
‘You know, you can be very cruel sometimes.’
I almost laugh. Says the controlling boyfriend. No, I will not let myself be manipulated– again.
‘Not something you’ll have to worry about any more,’ I bark. ‘Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to do.’
‘Work? You’re working over there? But what about your job? You can’t give up your job. How will you pay–?’
‘Aidan, that’s no longer your concern. I can, and I have, and I’m perfectly happy where I am. Please don’t call me again.’
‘Well, I’ll need to let your mum know the latest. She’s been talking about coming over to talk some sense into you.’
Panic flows through me then, and I ball my hands into fists. Thank God neither of them is here. I’m not a violent person, but my God, I want to punch them both right now.
‘I’m thirty. I don’t think I need my mother to talk sense into me. I’ve made my decision. I’m staying here, Aidan. Feel free to convey that to Mum. Goodbye.’
I hang up the phone as my breathing becomes ragged. I need some water. My head aches from the build-up of pressure in it, and a sharp pain behind my eyes causes me to wince. I’m so angry.
‘Sorry, Sofia, for the interruption. It won’t happen again.’
She waves my apology away. ‘It’s no trouble. Is everything OK?’ Her eyebrows shift upwards and her forehead visibly tightens.
I give her a small smile. ‘It will be, thank you.’
Once I’ve left the office, I head for the ladies’ loos, check there’s no one in them and promptly burst into tears.
I know we’d put a reservation fee down on a new-build flat, but the deposit hadn’t been paid yet, the missives hadn’t been concluded and all in all, both Aidan and I are in a position we can extricate ourselves from relatively easily. Why can’t he see that? Because he’s a narcissistic power-hungry passive-aggressive control freak who wants everything to go exactly the way he planned, when he says so. Phew! Glad I got that off my chest.
I sigh with relief that the blinkers finally fell from my eyes and I had the courage to stand up to him. Who knows, if I hadn’t befriended Ed and decided to take up diving that day, I could be back home in Scotland, signing legal documents at the solicitor’s, linking Aidan and me for the foreseeable future. I’ve had a lucky escape.
The door to the ladies opens. I hold my breath. Please don’t let it be Roisin. I just know my face is tear-stained. I’d kind of hoped to have a chance to splash water on it before I head back out to work. The last thing I need is to see her scowling face full of disdain for me.
Then I hear humming. From the tunefulness, I recognise Federica’s voice, and breathe more easily again. When the cubicle door next to me closes, I compose myself and open my door.
I’m drying my hands on a paper towel when Federica comes out. I glance in the mirror at her. ‘Hi.’
‘Hi, how’s your day going? I heard Ella was going to go through the med rituals with you.’
‘She did. I’ve been enjoying learning about it all.’ I ignore her question.
‘I was wondering…’ she says as she washes her hands, her eyes flicking to mine ‘…would you practise English with me?’ When I don’t immediately respond, because that’s not what I was expecting her to say, she rushes on. ‘Only, I’m trying to do a course online, since with my hours here, it’s not so easy to attend a class in person. And it’s not equal.’
‘Of course I’ll help you.’ I pat her arm lightly. ‘I’d be delighted to.’
She smiles and it lights up her whole face. ‘Thank you. Dexter is helping me, too, but I figured if I can understand his Irish accent and your Scottish one, then hopefully I can understand any English accent. You guys speak so fast.’
I laugh and switch to English. ‘We do. Well, there’s no time like the present,’ I say slowly.
She laughs. ‘My English is not so good yet, but I know some basics. I did some English at school.’
‘Where did you go to school?’ I ask her.
‘In my home town in the north of Peru. A place called Chiclayo. Do you know it?’
I shake my head. ‘No, but I’ll look it up. I’m always keen to learn more about new places.’
‘Well, it’s very popular with Peruvians for vacation. There are mountains, beaches, as well as the adobe pyramids, not to mention gorgeous cathedrals and a palace.’
‘Sounds wonderful. Sold!’ I say.
Federica grins. ‘I am extremely passionate about my country.’
‘I can tell,’ I say, mirroring her grin.
As we return to the foyer, she tells me roughly what she has covered in her online course. Personally, I think she has done a lot. She just lacks confidence and the opportunity to chat face to face with native speakers or the chance to speak with a teacher and classmates.
Federica has taken me under her wing, and now it’s my turn to return the favour.
When I return to the hospital, Dexter is there, checking on Flash.
‘How’s he doing?’ I ask.
Dexter glances up, but his face doesn’t bear any trace of warmth, unlike the man whose ardent kisses last night gave me stubble rash this morning, which I then had to cover with makeup, something I haven’t worn since I arrived at the sanctuary.
Whatever. Maybe he’s not a morning person.
‘His cuts have healed. I’ve also weighed him and he has gained a little weight, which is great news.’
So why does Dexter sound so pissed off? Surely he’s not annoyed about Aidan calling.
‘Once Ella has finished with you here, can you take over from Luciana in the nursery? She has a meeting and there was a mix-up with the dates. They’ve just called to tell her it’s today.’
‘Of course.’ I’m still wondering why he’s so off, as Federica comes in.
‘Ah, there you are, Dexter. Delivery. Oh, by the way, Kat’s agreed to help me with my English, too. Now I have two teachers, I’ll be able to learn so much faster.’
Dexter glances at me. I can’t quite make out what’s going on with him. I’d have sworn that was a hint of admiration in his eyes, but he still looks narked about something. No matter.
‘That’s great.’ Dexter smiles warmly at Federica.
Where’s my warm smile? I’m starting to feel a little put out. Dexter snogged the face off me last night and today is as warm as Siberia. I hope he’s not regretting our encounter. I’m not, or rather, I wasn’t. I don’t do hot and cold, though. I can’t be bothered with game-playing. You’re either into someone or you’re not.
‘Yes, I’ll have an Irish-Scottish accent. I can’t think of anything better,’ says Federica.
Dexter and I both raise a smile at that, and once again our eyes meet, but I can’t fathom quite what is going on behind his. One thing’s for sure, I’ll find out later. I’m done with men messing me about or messing with my head. If he wants something to happen between us, I need us to be open and honest with each other.
‘Let’s check on that delivery then.’ Dexter strides out of the room without so much as a backward glance.
Half an hour later, I’m done and relieve Luciana of her duties. Speedy is clambering over the sofa. Funny how I’m beginning to recognise the different sloths. He has a little dark spot just above his eye which distinguishes him from the others, and his fur is denser than that of the younger sloths. I guess he must be around seven months old. I’ll miss him when he goes.
One of the younger sloths is climbing on a rocking chair, which I now realise is the perfect training material for him. Trees would be outside of his area of expertise still.
Luciana fills me in on which sloths have been fed and which still need a little milk or leaves. She opens the door from the nursery that leads to the outdoor covered area where the sloths can play safely without being able to escape and which helps prepare them for surviving on their own. I recall seeing a similar set-up in the area for the older sloths.
I settle in happily, watching the sloths’ antics– those who are awake– and give a little milk to Nimble, whose chart says he has only been here ten days. He also looks only a few months old.
I’ve just worked out it’s Bolt climbing on the chair when Carlos comes in. He smiles and sits down beside me. ‘Have I missed Luciana?’
‘Yes, she left about twenty minutes ago.’
‘Ah. I’ll catch her later.’ He gestures to Nimble. ‘He likes you.’
My heart leaps. ‘Really? How can you tell?’
‘He’s very relaxed, and sloths can be such tense animals. That’s why we don’t let anyone except the sanctuary workers touch them.’
I nod. I knew that sloths didn’t like to be touched, but I’m definitely learning more about these cute little guys every day.
Carlos regards me earnestly. ‘Kat, I just wanted to say I’m so happy with how you’ve settled in.’
I sigh. ‘Carlos, it’s like a dream for me here. I love animals, always have, and sloths are my favourite.’ I glance down at Nimble, taking in his little cream-coloured face, in contrast to the trademark darker stripes beneath each eye. ‘Who couldn’t love them?’
‘I feel exactly the same way. Anyway, I wanted you to know I’m very happy with the work you’ve done so far. I hear you’ve been studying the medicines they receive, today.’
‘Yes. Ella has been great.’
‘She’s an asset to the sanctuary, that’s for sure. We’d be lost without her.’
I smile at the fondness in his voice. Carlos certainly seems to think of all his workers as his family. Sofia does too, from the way she treats us all. It’s so touching.
‘So, would you like to come with me to one of the other sanctuaries later this week? We share information about the sloths, learn from each other, discuss numbers, that sort of thing. Taking care of sloths is still a relatively new thing. Only a few decades, so we’re always learning from other people’s studies.’
‘Absolutely. Thanks, Carlos.’
‘Right, I’ll let you know the details. See you later.’
Once he’s gone, I hug to myself just how much I’m integrating into this new way of life. I’m almost tearful as I think of all the years wasted working in pet supplies, when I could have been braver and come and done something like this. But then Dad was still around, so I’d never have left Scotland back then. The grief catches me unexpectedly again. I take a few deep breaths and have just managed to compose myself when the door opens. Roisin.
Well, I was right about the scowl. Either it’s permanent or she reserves it solely for me.
When she remains standing in the doorway, I raise my eyebrows in a question.
‘Where’s Luciana?’
Ah, no preamble. No chit-chat. No pleasantries.
‘At a meeting. Will I tell her you’re looking for her when she gets back?’
‘No. I’ll text her.’ She turns and leaves as quickly as she appeared, the door swinging to behind her.
I roll my eyes. I suppose not everyone can be good-natured, but does she have to be so goddamned horrible? She couldn’t be any more obvious if she came up and said, ‘I don’t like you,’ and punctuated each word by a jab of her long, bony fingers to my chest.
I put Nimble down in his cot and move to the outside area of the nursery to check on the three sloths who’re in there, hanging from the trees, moving along the man-made canopy and dropping into their little swimming pool.
I giggle as one of them lets go of the branch he’s climbing on and lands with a splash in the pool. I note the mats around the pool. I can imagine everything would be soaked otherwise. I’m also not stupid and don’t go too close in case they soak me. The sloth swims seamlessly through the water. He’s a better swimmer than me, and I made the school team. He looks so happy. I mean, I know sloths look permanently happy, but he’s definitely enjoying himself. Splash! I startle as another joins him and then the third. Pool party for three.
I stand and watch them for a little while, enjoying the camaraderie they’re displaying, then I return to the main nursery, where the sloths are sleeping like, well, babies, or playing on the rocking chairs. I’m about to sit down to observe them when my phone rings in my back pocket.
Becca.
Guilt swamps me. I haven’t called her for a good few days now, and I haven’t texted much either.
I answer. ‘I know, I know, I’m sorry, how are you? I’ve been a little caught up with my new sloth lifestyle.’ I’m waiting for her to speak but there’s silence.
‘Hello, hello?’ I repeat.
‘Katherine Imogen MacDonald, your father would be turning in his grave right now at your behaviour.’
Bile rises in my throat, both at the fact Mum has tricked me into answering the phone by involving Becca, and at the way she has used Dad against me, again.
I try to speak but no words come out. It doesn’t matter anyway as Mum has no intention of letting me talk. She’s off on one. ‘If you won’t see sense, I’ll come over there.’
She had better be kidding.
‘Mum, I don’t want you coming over. There’s no need. I have a new life here. I’ll visit at Christmas. I’m doing well over here. I love it.’
My staccato-like sentences are intentional. I want to make it easy for her to understand this is how I want my life to be. I don’t need her meddling in it.
‘I gave you a chance, Kat. I had Aidan call you when you wouldn’t listen to me before.’
I pace the room, venturing into the outdoor area again, trying to calm the panic building within me. I don’t want her coming here. I don’t want her spoiling things for me. The realisation saddens me, but it’s true. She’s no Dad. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t replace him. They always were poles apart. It was no surprise that I gravitated towards Dad. Mum and I had, and still have, little in common, and that was only further emphasised after Dad’s death.
I’m trying to get a word in edgeways, intermittently sighing and rolling my eyes, when the door opens and Luciana returns. I mouth ‘Sorry’ at her, but she’s frowning. She seems distracted. I try to wrap things up with Mum as I smile at Luciana, who’s now flitting from cot to cot, checking in on each one’s occupant.
Now it’s my turn to frown. Doesn’t she trust me? She pushes past me into the recreation area where the three sloths are still swimming.
She rounds on me. ‘Kat, where’s Nimble?’
‘In his cot. I’ve not long finished feeding him.’
‘Kat, he’s not in his cot and the door was open.’
The door was open? How could the door have been open? It takes a second for my brain to catch on. Roisin. My phone slips from my hand. I don’t even stop to pick it up or check if it’s broken as it hits the floor. Instead, I dash out the door. Please let Nimble be OK.