Chapter 5
Kincaid.
“What kind of kid were you?” Nari lay next to me in the double lounge. Her body was sideways to mine while I was positioned on my back. Her small hand rested on my abs just above the waistband of my shorts. The feel of her fingers grazing my skin was soothing to the point of lulling me to sleep.
“A disciplined one,” I muttered, which had her eyes hard on me. Mine remained closed, but when I smiled, she groaned.
“Disciplined? That’s it?”
“For the most part, yes. I was a typical kid, though. Always into shit, curious about life, which drove my mother crazy.” I paused at the memory, momentarily stuck on my next thought.
“My father used to always be in the background, demanding she let me be, while my mother fussed that I would end up killing myself from the dumb stunts I used to pull.”
“Like?”
“Like jumping from the balcony on the second level of our home into the pool. I was six.” I laughed at the memory of how insanely crazy my behavior had been.
“I thought my mother was going to beat me senseless when she yanked me out of the pool by one arm, but she didn’t.
She hugged me so tightly I couldn’t breathe.
I remember the look in her eyes. Fear. I didn’t like the way it made me feel. ”
“Did it stop you from doing dumb shit?”
I grinned, peeling my eyes open. Hers were waiting. “No. It only made me more cautious about getting caught. I made sure she was never around to witness my stunts.” I winked and she rolled her eyes.
“Typical man.”
“I was a kid. I needed to explore, feel fear, and test the bounds of my abilities. My father said it would teach me how to push beyond limitations. My mother’s rebuttal was that I would kill myself, or at the very least, evoke irreversible harm.
My father argued back that my walk on the wild side would prepare me for life and make me a man. ”
“Who won?”
“I suppose they both did. I’m still alive, and I’m definitely all man.
Being curious about life teaches you to push limits you wouldn’t normally test. Kids are fearless.
They have that thing that burns in their eager little minds, making them feel as if anything is possible if they believe it to be.
It’s why they do dumb shit. That’s why I did dumb shit. ”
The memory had me temporarily suspended in my thoughts.
It was frustratingly disheartening that no one had gotten any closer to finding out who had gunned down Razi and my father.
Not one lead had surfaced, and I feared that it was a question that would remain unanswered.
The thought of never finding out canceled the ability to seek retribution was a concept that I wasn’t sure I could be at peace with.
However, I might not have a choice. For now, I was left with knowing that my father’s life was cut short, which made missing him hurt a little more.
“I don’t know if I’m prepared for that type of stress.” She groaned. I kissed her cheek reassuringly, allowing my mind to move into a happier space.
“You’ll be just fine.”
My hand eased up her thigh, sliding down her stomach, but she stopped me before I could reach my true destination.
Nari lifted her chin just a little to look across the pool, where her mother was seated at a small table under a patio umbrella.
Her feet were kicked up in a chair, crossed at the ankles while she held a book in her lap.
I gazed at her face, which belonged to my wife with a little more maturity to it.
She seemed at peace, reading whatever book had her currently captivated.
“It’s crazy how much the two of you look alike.”
“I know. I have to catch myself from staring. It’s odd seeing your face on someone else. I wonder if that’s how twins feel.”
“Possibly.”
She settled into a heavy silence. I could feel her brain moving.
“What’s on your mind?”
“It’s like I’m all her. He doesn’t exist.”
“Is that good or bad?”
It’s a fucking bonus in my opinion.
My eyes remained on my wife. She was still in that space of longing. Regardless of the things she’d learned about her father, she still felt the void of the unknown. He was her unknown.
“Neither, I guess. If he’s as bad as everyone says—”
“He is,” I made clear. There was no room for negotiation where he was concerned. The smallest crack would allow her to see something that didn’t really exist. Humanizing a degenerate.
“I believe you, but if that’s the case, then some of that is in me. It could be passed down to our children. Traits tend to skip generations. I’ve heard that a lot.”
I pushed out a harsh breath and kissed her forehead. “You’re good enough to cancel anything negative. Even my demons. Our baby will own the light that you bring.”
“I don’t want our child to be all me. There should be a good blend of both of us.”
“As long as it’s the good things, but if not, I’ll be perfectly content with a replica of you.”
“Even my stubbornness?”
I chuckled, nodding. “Most definitely your stubbornness. Our child will not be a pushover. He or she will be tough as nails like their mother. Life tends to be harder on those who have a weak resolve.”
She stared at me until I gave her my eyes. “What?”
“Did you have friends when you were a kid?”
I laughed at the thought. “Yes, sweetheart. I had friends, plenty, I might add. I played in the mud, rode bikes, and threw rocks at little girls because I thought they were cute. I wasn’t a six-year-old wearing a suit while a gun was strapped to my side.
Get that idea out of your head. I had a typical childhood. ”
“But you had men in suits with guns hovering.”
“Sometimes, but it became a part of my life, so I tended to forget they were there.”
“That’s the life our child will have.” It wasn’t a question. She was more or less thinking out loud. “I don’t see how anyone gets used to that.”
“It’s a necessary evil, but I promise, it will never be so overbearing that you feel trapped.”
Nari nodded and smiled. “So, can we talk about these little girls who you threw rocks at? I don’t like the idea of my husband crushing on anyone else. Even as a child.”
I threw my head back and laughed before sitting up. “A story for another day, but if I tell my secrets, you must tell yours.” I narrowed my eyes, and she smiled harder.
“Fair enough.”
“Remember, you said that, but for now, go spend time with your mother. We’ll be out late tonight.”
Nari frowned, which meant she forgot that we had plans.
“The function I mentioned yesterday.”
“Oh, that’s right.” She was pouting. As adorable as it was, I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable or dread events that she and I would be required to attend.
“It won’t be that bad. Alisha will be there as well, if that helps.”
“An ally when your past decides they want to rip me to shreds.”
“Not possible.” I gripped the front of her neck, landing a kiss. “Nothing touches you, agreed?”
“Agreed.”
I left her there to make a few calls. She still had a lot of settling to do, but I would give her time. She need not fear anyone crossing lines without the type of consequences that would make them regret the day they spoke an ill word against the woman who now owned my heart. That was my promise.
That night, I waited in the foyer for Nari to finish preparing to leave.
I was dressed before her, handing over our room to her and her mother.
Their bond seemed to grow, and after only a few days, they had settled into a routine.
It wasn’t quite mother-daughter yet, but it bore a close resemblance.
Endia was eager to be a part of her daughter’s world, and Nari was open to the idea.
At times, however, I could see she retreated as if still on the fence about her feelings.
I didn’t think it was intentional, but if I noticed, Endia did too.
I could read my wife better than anyone. The downfall to that was she had the same ability where I was concerned. We often communicated without words. Like at that exact moment, I felt her presence, which had me looking toward the top of the stairs.
“Shit, baby.” It rushed out so quickly I wasn’t able to curb my response.
She stood at the top of the stairs, looking down—my angel.
Although I preferred her in red, her formfitting black dress was equally pleasing.
It hugged her body, exposing those dangerous curves.
Nari’s hand rested on her stomach while the other hung softly at her side.
There were no signs yet of our baby, but she always seemed to have her hand protectively resting where our little one was hidden beneath the surface.
A constant reminder that we were forever bonded.
“See? I told you he’d like it.” Her mother whispered the response, but it was not low enough to remain between them because I caught it.
Nari was a beautiful woman in her natural state, but the light touch of makeup she wore brought her features to life.
It was as if someone were shining a spotlight to enhance the qualities I’d fallen in love with.
She took the stairs slowly. It was torture because I couldn’t wait to have her close enough to feel, smell, and taste.
My dick jolted at the thought. My arm encircled her waist when she reached me, resting at her hip while I brought her in for a kiss.
“Your hair is straight.” Her fingers lifted and raked through the silky tresses that brushed her shoulder. I was sure it was a nervous reaction to my statement.
“You don’t like it?”
Her naturally curly look was my favorite, but she was stunning, regardless. I would never complain.
“You’re perfect. In fact, you look so damn good that I want to make you change.”
“Why?”
“Sanguis in manibus meis.” (Blood on my hands.)
“I’m not wearing red.” She blushed, and I held her closer.
“Doesn’t matter. You’re wearing sin. You’re going to tempt even the most controlled man.”
“Do you want me to change?”