Chapter 6 #3
The rest of my day moved in a blur. Everything around me ignited the sting I felt from my cousin’s words.
Pimped out. Technically, I married for money.
Even if the terms weren’t as simple as that, the foundation of my decision was money.
It was why I agreed. Neither did it matter that I was now in love with the man whose last name I carried.
I craved him like an addict who chased a high.
He had become a part of me in a way that made me feel incomplete in his absence.
Not having him around most days altered my mood.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t be happy without him.
I could, which had been proven over the past week.
I enjoyed time with my mother and his. I laughed hard and smiled big when spending time with Alisha, but there was always a void I felt, like I wasn’t whole.
He was the reason. That man had implanted himself so deeply in me that I didn’t feel whole unless he was within reach.
Nights were the worst. Our bed felt cold and lonely in his absence.
For that very reason, I kept myself busy until I knew I would pass out from exhaustion before climbing underneath the sheets.
Tonight had been no different, which was why I felt him as soon as he was near.
The bed dipped, and it seemed like I had just closed my eyes, so it took me a minute to open them.
Kincaid wasn’t due home for another day and a half, so I had to be dreaming.
I fought against the urge to find out for fear of being disappointed, but the feel of his hand covering mine, which rested on my stomach, had my eyes slowly peeling open.
“What are you doing here?”
He snorted. “I live here.”
That grated me. Regardless of how tenderly his large hand and lengthy fingers rested atop my own, I could feel the aggression radiating from those broad shoulders and solid arms.
Kincaid is angry.
“I know you live here, Kincaid. I’m reminded every second of every day because this place reeks of you, but my question is more about day and time. You’re not supposed to be back for another day and a half.”
“Reeks?” His eyes lowered to meet mine. I shifted beneath the covers, sitting up and scooting back. The disconnect caused the muscles beneath his beard to flex, sharpening his angular jawline.
“You know what I mean. It wasn’t meant in a derogatory manner.
” My voice was clipped. This man confused the hell out of me.
He could move between so many personas that I struggled to keep up.
My words caused him to feel offended, which initiated a pout of sorts, but Kincaid was too damn alpha to really pout, so the more appropriate terminology was more along the lines of brooding.
“I just traveled almost fifteen hours by flight only to arrive here and spend the rest of the day and evening getting brought up to date on the million and one things I had to push aside while traveling. I’m exhausted and not looking to argue with my wife.”
“I don’t want to argue with you, either. I was only asking why you’re here so early.”
This too felt out of sorts. I didn’t know his every move.
However, he made clear the importance of his business while being away.
He made a point of pushing up several ventures on his calendar to lend himself to me with more flexibility around the time I was expected to deliver.
We had discussed his plans at length because it would mean excessive travel to settle his affairs over the next few months.
“It’s my duty to make sure my wife is okay.”
He’s worried about me? Why?
“You were traveling for business. It wasn’t an emergency.”
“I made some minor adjustments to ensure I could be home a few days early. I will always put you first, sweetheart. The concept is never a debate in my heart or my head.”
“I’m fine. Your handlers did what you paid them to do then ushered us to the safety of our home.” I wasn’t sure why I was so upset, but something about his coming home early felt . . .
Controlling versus caring.
Not to mention, I was still angry about being treated like I was a child. The luxury of my new life came with an overseer.
“As opposed to what? A physical altercation with a woman who throws insults at you?”
I shrugged. “Sometimes you have to put your foot in people’s asses for them to realize you’re not to be fucked with.” My eyes narrowed and warred with his.
“And while you’re putting your foot in someone’s ass, how does the care and well-being of our child fit into that equation?”
Ahhhh, now the truth comes out. He’s not worried about me. Just the precious cargo I’m carrying.
He was yet again coddling me, and I didn’t like it.
Being pregnant didn’t make me handicapped, and of course I would have considered my child.
At the present, my words would have been enough to get my point across.
What I didn’t appreciate was my husband not trusting me to make good decisions about myself or my child.
“Why are you with me?”
“Excuse me?” His eyes squinted slightly, but I could see the irritation dancing behind his pupils. One thing I learned about my husband early on was that he had very little patience. Kincaid made demands and people obliged. It was one of the things that attracted me to him—his ability to command.
“You’re always there, protectively hovering.
Even in your absence, you manage to do so.
I thought it was endearing at first, but now I see things for what they really are.
You’re always hovering because you’re waiting for me to fuck up.
You don’t trust my judgment with things in your life or with this baby.
Why be with someone you have to coddle like a child?
How is that even remotely appealing for a man like you?
Why wouldn’t you want a woman who has it all figured out and doesn’t need you to dictate how she looks, thinks, or acts?
I had a disagreement with my family and you made the call to control the outcome.
Christ, I can’t even have a simple argument without you expecting me to do something reckless. ”
My emotions were all over the place. I was spiraling, which forced my insecurities and caused me to self-sabotage. I just didn’t know how to get a handle on being in his space, in his life, or worse . . .
His wife.
Kincaid snorted, his eyes narrowing a bit more.
“She’s not your fucking family. Your family wouldn’t offer to fuck me and keep it secret.
I’m your family. Endia is your family. Hell, my mother, Darius, and Alisha are your family.
What’s reckless is you using that term so loosely about a woman who would insult you by minimizing your marital union to something as degrading as me pimping you out. ”
My eyes expanded, but I settled quickly.
He heard that.
“Who offered to fuck you?”
“The same woman you felt the need to prove yourself to and reference as family, and for the record, I declined the offer. I have no interest in disrespecting our vows.”
When the hell did Shayla offer to fuck my husband?
“Do you think I care what she assumes about us?” I didn’t. She couldn’t say a damn thing about me or the man I married. The problem was what I felt bubbling in the pit of my stomach most days. My own insecurities were sometimes more acute than what people on the outside assumed them to be.
“Don’t you?” He was searching my face for a reaction, and if I wasn’t mistaken, I noticed a slight moment of uncertainty.
“No. I don’t give a damn because I know better, even though a part of me knows I married you for money—”
“Don’t—”
“Don’t what, Kincaid? Regardless of where we are now, neither of us can erase how this began. I may not appreciate her accusations or delivery, but technically, she’s right. You pimped me out. I just got a ring and a title out of the deal.”
“Is that all you got?”
No! I’m simply struggling to find my footing with my new reality and what I have known all my life. Everything comes at a price.
I stared at him hard, not responding.
“I said, is that all you fucking got?” This time, his voice raised, and his sentence came out in a growl.
However, I still refused to answer. He stood, leaned over the bed, and pressed a palm into the mattress to brace himself while bending toward me.
I flinched, not sure why. This man would never send a finger in my direction with the intent of harm.
The reaction caused something to move behind his eyes, but he still pressed a kiss to my forehead, allowing his lips to linger while he whispered, “Get some rest.”
His voice was low but firm. I watched as he left our room, closing the door behind him. My mind moved a mile a minute as I sat motionless, processing what the hell that meant. There was no argument. He just left.